I have relatives that always put me down

SunnyCaRN · Jan 5, 2009

I think your right to avoid them. It is no use trying to tell them your position, it is just better that you know how hard you have worked to get where you are. Stay the course and soon you will not care what that relative says. It really is a shame that we can't pick our family! Hang in there!!!

E.R. Rookie · Jan 5, 2009

I call my sister a sucubus (probably spelled that wrong)

Anyways I rarely speak with her because she has nothing positive to say. Yes she is my sister, but she has nothing positive to contribute to my life and I do not have the energy to deal with her drama. I avoid her and I don't feel guilty about it.

MaryAnn_RN · Jan 5, 2009

I have two sisters like that and haven't seen either for years. Best to stay away if you can.

That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Jan 5, 2009

Yep stay away from it. You dont need that in your life, especially from family. If they dont like your life choices ( which sound perfectly reasonable in my book ) they can pound sand.

missjennmb · Jan 5, 2009

Think of it this way. Nursing school is the hardest thing you may ever do. Thousands of people fail out of nursing school every year. At my school, the previous year's class ended with less than HALF of the students they started with. This is an LPN program. If you get through this program, you will be SO proud of yourself!! I would think it would not matter what anyone else thinks because you will know how tough it was, and how great you did.

BTW, comparing you to someone's LVN program as a negative is pretty crappy =P LVN programs are no easier than RN and kick out just as many prior straight A students, they are just shorter (and somewhat qualify as the first half of the RN program anyways, but I digress)

I had an old boss once who told me he weighed everything in life with this philosophy "how much will it help me? how much will it hurt me? and what is it going to cost?" I tend to weigh pretty much everything in my life with this philosophy, although I don't mean financial cost but the less tangible costs of emotional/spiritual/physical drain. If your relatives weigh out as hurting you more than helping you, perhaps you should just let them know that, and avoid them until they agree to cut out the negativity.

But then, although this philosophy works for me, I don't have very many friends or close family. :)

racing-mom4, BSN, RN · Jan 5, 2009

I too got married at 19---probably my own way of creating the family I so badly wanted...Your 24 and old enough to make your own decisions and follow the path you need to live...You cant make everyone happy, never will so stop feeling guilty for trying to. When your family brags about this cousin or that one about passing thier boards just smile and say "I am so proud of them" and move on...

soon2bns · Jan 5, 2009

My family is similiar too. I have a cousin who became a LPN and eventually went back to get her RN. I am 3oyears old with a hubby and four children, so it took me a lot longer to attend school. I know that it may hurt but just look at the outcome of you going to school. You are going to be a RN, it does not matter how long it takes you to complete your goal. Just know that you can't worry about what they say, they obviously need to get a life and stop dwelling on yours! :clown: :yeah:

jeninthedesert, BSN, RN · Jan 5, 2009

Don't let them talk to you like that! And, don't let them bring you down. I don't blame you for avoiding them. You are working towards your goals, right? That is what counts. You should be proud of yourself and all of your hard work.

I got married young, too, and put off nursing school to take a job that paid well. Now, 13 years later, I am a student nurse and finally working towards what I've always wanted to do. I've accomplished a lot in the process. You are going to accomplish a lot, too. :)

Jules A, MSN · Jan 6, 2009

I'm so not a fan of being around toxic people even if their blood line is similar to mine. You sound like a smart cookie, do not let anyone make you feel bad about your path. If you will surround yourself with only positive, kind and successful people your life will be much more pleasant. Hugs, Jules

Atheos · Jan 6, 2009

Everytime I talk to one of my relatives, all I hear is that they are dissapointed in me because I haven't finished anything in school or that I don't have a real job. They always compare me to my cousins who are either in LVN programs or the ones that passed the NCLEX. I'm 24 years old, I finally finished my prerequisites and just applied for next fall admissions. I got married at 19, so I didn't go straight to college to pursue nursing full time. They don't understand what I've been going through. It makes me feel depressed and offended that they would even say negative things about me.
Everytime the holidays come up, I try to avoid them just to avoid the criticism.

Sometimes avoiding them is the best answer. Stay away for awhile and then go back a little. If they continue with the behavior go away again. If they ask why the distance or why you don't call, tell them exactly why. If they truly love you, they'll realize what their behavior is doing and stop it, or at least suppress it. If they don't though then they don't deserve you!

julzhere · Jan 6, 2009

You know what they say - you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but . . . My family, as with many, is not the most functional but they/we are all about supporting each other - even if we don't agree with what the other is doing. I can't imagine anyone in my family every treating me that way and I'm so sorry for you that it is happening. But the postings above are right - stay away from the toxic people. Nursing school is hard enough with support, without it you will really be struggling. Surround yourself with the people in your life who do support you - that's who your "real" family is. Good luck and don't stop believing in yourself.