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I made bold, stupid decision to resign without securing another job and now I'm torn!

Rehabilitation   (371 Views 2 Comments)
by obitouchiha obitouchiha (New Member) New Member Nurse

141 Visitors; 6 Posts

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So I already turned in my resignation letter. My CNO said clearly that he's disappointed that I resigned (made me feel guilty, although we both knew that I'm replaceable,so I don't think that's an appropriate farewell). My day shift fellow nurses asked me, "why are you quitting? you know we can help you and we will help you."

The night shift nurse asked me if I can just switch to night shift instead of day shift, so then I won't stressed out too much because night is slower than day shift. Another night shift nurse told me to give it a chance try night shift before I am quitting

Then the supervisor of night shift called me and told me that if I am interested to work for night shift, she would talk to the nurse manager and CNO so I can work with her. 

I am torn because yes it's tempting to work night shift. 

However, another part of me is exhausted to be a part of the system. Hospital is very profit driven. I didn't sign up to be a nurse for this. I have to go against my moral ethics several times for this business. If I score admission FIM too high for patients who are perfectly capable of doing their ADLs, I get the email from administration to lower the score so they can stay longer in the hospital.

If I want to change the foam dressing on an incontinent patient who had episodes of diarrhea, I am told no by the wound care nurse because corporate begins to limit the use of foam dressings for patients. 

I am heartbroken, honestly. 

My hubby told me it's because I'm still kinda new in healthcare. He's used to be like me before.  The first time he worked as a healthcare professional, he was frustrated by the way healthcare works. However, he said it's either we have to adapt to the system or we're quitting the profession.

I don't want to quit the profession. But I hate to become part of the system, and I hate that I am powerless because I know I won't be able to fix the healthcare system. 

I'm not Mother Theresa who's gladly sacrifice herself for others. But I felt like I have to quit the job before I begin to hate nursing. 

Another retired nurse told me to try volunteer for undeserved, uninsured population, and it will remind me why I wanted to be a nurse in the first place.

Another part of me is worrying if I cannot get the job later on because I quit the job too soon (less than a year) and it's already my second job. I quit the first one (less than a year) because I thought second one would be better, and they both opened my eyes very widely, that all hospitals here are money-driven. 

Any thoughts? Thank you. 

 

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SummerGarden has 10 years experience as a ADN, BSN, RN and specializes in ED and Acute Care.

36,345 Visitors; 3,004 Posts

Do you like working in acute Rehabilitation?  Do you feel you are a pretty good nurse with room to grow?  If so, I would not state you are stupid, but it was not a wise decision to quit.  In fact, if your department is willing to take you back, then go back.  If you rather work the NOC shift compared to other shifts, then try the NOC shift. 

The reason I write this is because as a relatively new RN you are feeling what all of us have felt at one point.  The feeling can go away in one of two ways.  You can learn that there are very few health care dollars to care for patients and that there is more than one creative way to care for patients without using the most expensive items (and this is not a bad thing) or you can choose to leave nursing.  

I worked in very rural hospitals and urban hospitals.  Both gave me my fair share of poor patients.  The hospitals are stretched thin on dollars.  If I could use a cheap solution to care for my patients I did so because I learned it also benefitted my patients!  For example, rather than use the expensive foam, give patients the dressing that still performs the same job and will not cost them as much upon discharge to continue to care for themselves.  If the foam dressing is expensive to the hospital, I guarantee it is expensive to the patient too (insurance does not cover everything).  Start to understand that you are advocating for patients when you think of them using what they can afford AND what performs the same amount of work to help them heal.

As for the QA and FIM scores.  Do not take their corrections personally.  It is highly possible they are not articulating the reason for FIMs scores correctly to you and it is possible that they are wrong in correcting you.  Either case, you should address with your management team to clear up any miscommunication or confusion.

 Good luck!

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