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I love nursing.. not sure if nursing loves me

Nurses   (2,682 Views 21 Comments)
by tdms tdms (New Member) New Member

tdms specializes in PACU, telemetry.

741 Visitors; 9 Posts

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:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:

Let me start off by saying that nursing school was never easy for me; but all things in life never really have been. I'm not a genius; but i'm not dumb as rocks either. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've always been the type of person to work hard for what I've tried to accomplish and at the present; I'm feeling very alone and confused....

I'm not a new grad.. I've only been a RN for about a year and some months. I've had 6 months of PACU and 6 months of telemetry. I'm a recent army wife; We've just recently moved.. so the last few months of my life have NOT been stable. That being said I've had 2 jobs (before I moved) and know this one (which is telemetry). (and i just wanna add the jobs changes came from getting married/ relocating & also having to move to his stations.)

I've lost sleep, my food, and my confidence in being a nurse; etc since the last couple of days events.

I did something that was VERY.. and I repeat VERY stupid. I got an admit & didnt assess my patient like i shouldve. I greeted the patient; even said i'd be back in just a few minutes to assess (it was shift change) grabbed my scope walked back in the room got to talking.. turned around and walked out. to make things worse... it was one of our own.

next day i walk in.. & im told the pt doesnt want me as the nurse.(id feel the same way 2.) i don't know how I functioned for the rest of the night.. because my world went numb after i heard those words. it wasn't just the realization that i had done something wrong; it was the realization that I had let someone DOWN. I think I would've felt better if someone had've shot me right then and there. long story short.. i went in .. apologized greatly for my shortcoming and took care of the pt. the way that i should've.

reality of the situation.. everything is ok.. i think.. but it's the FIRST time EVER that this has ever happened to me. it's the first complaint in my nursing career.. and I know it's my fault. I am trying to forgive myself... and not drive myself into the looney bin... but I can't. And I sit back and look at the situation over and over in my mind... and I don't know what i was thinking. Its not like i'm that child that gets caught with their hands in the cookie bin and cries because their caught.. I'm sickened with myself because I messed up. I'm in habit of always assessing my patients. And for the LIFE of me i don't know why this time was any different. I try and pride myself of being the best nurse and the best person I can be. Always. So far, this new job that I am working for is not bringing out the best in me. I've picked my brain for every aspect to consider; but at the end of the day..

its a mistake... one that i'm having a nervous breakdown over. :crying2::cry::crying2::cry:

thanks for letting me vent.

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TrishJK specializes in elder care; psych.

1 Article; 6,361 Visitors; 122 Posts

this sentence appears to be the crux of your problem:

I got an admit & didnt assess my patient like i shouldve. I greeted the patient; even said i'd be back in just a few minutes to assess (it was shift change) grabbed my scope walked back in the room got to talking.. turned around and walked out. to make things worse... it was one of our own.
whoever told you the patient didn't want you for a nurse is NOT your friend. Stay away from this person.

You are so upset you're not expressing the problem in terms others can readily understand. Do an SBAR on it OK? (State the Situation; briefly describe the background; briefly give your assessment of the problem; recommend what needs to be done next).

By the way, what needs to be done next is to 1) stop beating yourself up. Are you the first perfect humanoid on the planetoid? 2) Calm down. Take a deeeeeep breath. Go for a long swim. Sleep for 8 hours. 3) Get over it. Say "wot the hell, I did my best. Next time I'll do better because I'm a good person." Repeat this enough times until you stop feeling the need to beat yourself up.

By what you've written, no great harm was done. Buck up, babe. Chill.

ps. where is your spouse? Why isn't this person saying what I'm saying? Where is your best friend, ditto?

best wishes

Trish

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Scrubby has 6 years experience and specializes in Operating Room Nursing.

11,505 Visitors; 1,313 Posts

I can see that you take your responsibilities seriously which I think is great. However, in this case I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. If forgetting to do a formal assessment on a patient is the worst thing you'll ever do in your nursing career then you're doing fine. The fact that your spoke with them before walking out sort of indicates that you assessed the patients communication skills and whether they were orientated to time and place.

You are going to make mistakes in your nursing career, we all have at some stage. You need to accept this otherwise you'll be a nervous wreck. The trick is to learn from your mistakes and not make the same error all the time and blame others.

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emmalou* has 14 years experience and specializes in Med/Surg; aged care; OH&S.

4,260 Visitors; 112 Posts

I agree with the above. You made a mistake, and it wasn't a terrible mistake on the scheme of things. You will make mistakes over your nursing career and you will sometimes feel stupid :clown:. That is a reality of nursing. I can understand how you feel - the first time someone complains about you is awful, but you learn to take things on the chin after a while.

Don't dwell on this - you did the right thing, took responsibility and apologised and that is the most important thing.

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1 Article; 15,696 Visitors; 1,905 Posts

To the OP. It sounds like you have much to sort out with a new marriage, military, move, and job. As stated, calm down and realize that you cannot make everybody happy all of the time. We can get caught up in or job; however, the world does not revolve around the sun because we show up to work and provide perfect care. You rubbed somebody the wrong way, they will be ok.

Edited by traumaRUs
edited quoted off topic post

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RNBSNMe specializes in ED, LTC, ICU.

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No comment!

Edited by RNBSNMe
quoted off topic/deleted post

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traumaRUs has 27 years experience as a MSN, APRN and specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

15 Followers; 135 Articles; 186,967 Visitors; 20,744 Posts

Lets keep to the topic at hand: supporting a nurse that is having difficulties!

Like others have stated, this isn't the end of the world and I would bet you would never make this mistake again. We all make mistakes - some of which are worse than others. You will make mistakes - what you do afterwards is what makes/breaks you.

You owned up to it, realized it, accepted it, now its time to move on. Good luck.

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lweatherby has 3 years experience and specializes in Oncology.

4,042 Visitors; 150 Posts

OP - you are a nurse, not a robot. I know it is hard to make a mistake. I am a new nurse that is sometimes paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake. Thank GOD my older sister is a nurse of many years and she is constantly assuring me that everyone, even nurses with years of experience, make mistakes. She always tells me good nurses make mistakes and great nurses learn from their mistakes and take steps to not repeat them. She says her biggest concern for nursing are those nurses who do not care if and when they make a mistake. It sounds like you are a really caring nurse and I bet that you will not make that mistake again.

I think if your patient had been experiencing any symptoms of distress or immediate need, you would have been all over it. Obviously in an effort to priortize and efficiently use your time, you forgot. It happens, but it doesn't mean you are not a good nurse. It means you are a human being working in a stressful and demanding environment. You have now learned a valuable lesson and no one (but you) was harmed in the process.

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Tait has 13 years experience as a MSN, RN and specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Pain and Spine.

6 Articles; 28,103 Visitors; 2,093 Posts

Confidence is an odd bed-fellow in nursing. Some days you have it, and some days you can't find it to save your life.

However, that being said, all you can do is own the mistake you made and move on.

I recently went through a pretty tough drought of confidence (to the point where I wanted to quick nursing and work at Starbucks, seriously.) It would up taking a very long talk with my management, and upping my responsibilities on the floor (aka I started doing charge and precepting) to really get it back.

Now I am not saying that will work for you, it is just how I am. However I think you need to sit down in a quiet spot and sometimes think about all the patients you did wonders for.

I too am someone who never gets complaints (well maybe from my coworkers because I am growling at them for not picking up after themselves :p) so I could see how that could be devastating. However it was shift change, and really, for our floor, we are only expected to get them settled into bed and make sure overall they are ok. Then the oncoming shift would complete the assessment following our note.

Anyway, now that I have completed this four hours later due to the kitties knocking out the internet until my husband could fix it, I am sure I am way behind in this thread!!

Best of luck!!

Tait

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maxthecat has 27 years experience.

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You're a human being coping the best you can in a chaotic field. I'm sure you're not the first nurse who has forgotten something and you won't be the last. We talk a lot about the need to strive for perfection in nursing and sometimes I think that we forget that we're all human and by definition CAN'T be perfect all the time or even most of the time. Continue to be caring and conscientious, but don't hold yourself to an impossible standard. Because beating yourself up for mistakes ironically makes them more likely to occur because of the emotion clouding your mind.

By the way...most of us have been in situations where we've been "forgotten," by busy wait staff, in a doctor's waiting room, etc. After a while we signal for a waiter or check with the receptionist to see what has happened. Why couldn't this patient have put on her call light after several minutes and asked when she would be assessed? Pretty passive aggressive to not remind you and then complain to your coworker. I'm not sure I would have apologized profusely to her. And if it was the end of your shift and you had gone home without completing the assessment...BIG DEAL. I pick up stuff the offgoing shift didn't get to or forgot and don't make a big deal about it unless the patient was in distress or needed attention immediately.

With the care and concern coming through your post, you can be my nurse any day.

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1,961 Visitors; 65 Posts

everyone one make mistakes. we are human. get over it. don't take yourself seriously

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1,560 Visitors; 53 Posts

Don't be so hard on yourself! No harm was done. You wrote that the pt. arrived at shift change. I don't ever fully assess a new admit who gets there at or less than an hour prior to shift change, except for O2 sat, orientation, pain and immediate needs (e.g. to get to the bathroom). The next shift will do a thorough assessment and chart it. (My job is to get the pt. settled in and get the ball rolling on orders). At shift change, it's time to wrap things up with *every* pt., give report, finish up charting if need be, and go on home.

There will be times when a pt. refuses you. It's unpleasant, but it's not the end of the world. You have to let some things roll off your back.

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