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I am not good at nursing

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by Lostinorlando Lostinorlando (New Member) New Member Nurse

228 Visitors; 4 Posts

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Ruby Vee has 40 years experience as a BSN and specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

11 Followers; 65 Articles; 170,455 Visitors; 13,938 Posts

4 hours ago, The0Walrus said:

She maybe a better teacher than bedside nurse. Bedside nursing isn't everything. That is another option as a BSN nurse. Teaching requires more theory and teaching plans.

I agree that she may be better at teaching than as a bedside nurse, however she lacks experience at the bedside and this would diminish her credibility as a nurse.  I'm not even certain she could be hired to teach without a graduate degree.

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Ruby Vee has 40 years experience as a BSN and specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

11 Followers; 65 Articles; 170,455 Visitors; 13,938 Posts

3 hours ago, Lostinorlando said:

I’m very appreciative to all the advice that’s been given, and I have to say I’ve felt relieved and realized this isn’t me. 

The backstory is when I got hired to this floor, the nurses asked me if this was what I’d wanted. For the first couple weeks I said “Well I really want labor and delivery but there are no openings. This floor is great to learn from though”. I didn’t realize it had been a mistake to say that until my manager told me “We’ll spend this time training you just for you to go off to L&D in 6 months” during a discussion with her when I’d gotten reported by a nurse for being afraid to talk to physicians. Oh my gosh that’s another story. I asked a nurse to assess a patient’s new swollen leg with me and got reported that I don’t know when to call the physician. (I did call the physician this was because an hour later after the phys didn’t intervene, he didn’t think it was a clot, I thought the leg then felt warm but wasn’t sure) Anyway -  this is all partly my fault not the floor/management. I’m very shy and it invites something like bullying. I don’t stand up or speak up for myself so I have to learn to. Funny part is after I’ve been here a few months, I realized L&D wouldn’t be a good floor for me as a new nurse because I might not have learned enough skills or different conditions outside of L&D. The cardiac patient population also started growing on me. I had talked about wanting to be a midwife one day to the other nurses in the beginning, but then I wondered if I’d like geriatrics. I like helping them manage their prescriptions and educating.

I was asked to leave the floor yesterday. (My manager said the patient wasn’t even scared to get an MRI - this wasn’t true, the patient stated she wanted to back out and hoped the Ativan would help but a nurse told my manager the patient wasn’t scared I guess. I said she was scared and the manager just smirked like she didn’t believe me) HR wants me to call today with other suggestions where I would like to go. Have to start the whole orientation process over again. Can anyone recommend a floor for me? I was considering a vent/medsurg unit, trauma step down, even ICU. Where ever is a good place to start. I won’t be saying that I want to go anywhere else but I really do, just not sure what it is any more but I want to specialize in the future once I learn and worked a couple years. Thanks again it has been so supportive to read and I realized my floor was the exact opposite I’m not blameless but it was toxic.

If you started out your tenure on this floor talking about how you didn't want to be there, that is insulting to the nurses who DO want to be there and who are teaching you to function on that unit.  Then you compound it with bragging about how you're going on to be a midwife . . . bad moves.  Really bad moves.  Managers and preceptors don't like to be told, especially from the get go, that your heart isn't in it, that you don't want to be there.  Of course they think they're going to spend the time and effort in training you and you're going to bolt at the first opportunity -- that's what you've TOLD them.  

You have no business raising the specter of of bullying when you are the one who created the "toxic environment" in the first place.  If your workplace relationships are poor, it's because you started out heavily on the wrong foot and then continued to compound your disrespect of your colleagues.  Being shy has nothing to do with it.  As far as "standing up for yourself," your colleagues probably heard you saying you're better than them.  Whether or not that's what you actually meant.  

Your major problem on this unit isn't that you're a bad nurse or the medication error you related to us; your major problem is that they don't like you.  And that, my friend, is entirely on you. Mistakes are forgiven more easily by coworkers and managers who LIKE you; people are more willing to help and teach those they LIKE.  On the other hand, if you're viewing someone's work through a lens of DISLIKE, it is easier to find fault, more difficult to overlook mistakes and remediate.  Your problem is that your workplace relationships suck and you don't get it.  You're going to take that to the next job and the next, complaining of bullying and toxic workplaces unless you own your part in the dynamic and fix it.  

Please don't make the mistake of dismissing my advice because you don't like it, although I am certain that you won't.  I was that employee who created my own toxic environment at work until someone far wiser than me took me aside and talked to me about what I was doing.  I was that one employee that people didn't like unless they got to know me, and they weren't going to bother to get to know me because I wasn't likable.  I turned it around with the help of a very wise (and brave) orientee.  (Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Judi!). 

You have the power to turn this around, to go to your next job and create positive workplace relationships.  You have the power to humble yourself, ask for help and accept negative feedback and turn things around at your present job, although that will be much harder.   I did it, you can too.  

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228 Visitors; 4 Posts

Oh boy wait. How was I so blind and saying dumb things?? I even SAW it with someone else because there was another new nurse maybe 10 months there who kept saying she’s not a floor nurse but an ER nurse. She quit to take a surgery office position but after she was gone I heard nurses talk trash about her. I was surprised because I had seen her as very confident. They said too confident, she thought she was better. If that’s the impression I gave I can say from my heart I didn’t mean to nor feel that way, but I do see how that’s the bad taste I left them too. I guess I had the silly notions that most nurses would specialize or something. In nursing school we kept saying we are future L&D nurses, ER nurses, ped nurses, ICU, OR etc. I’m going to think about this more and try to change myself. And thanks.

Edited by Lostinorlando

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by Mr.E

1,006 Visitors; 26 Posts

Hi there. First off, congratulations on obtaining your BSN and working as an RN! This is a major accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself. Second, I want to say nursing as you know can be difficult. Often times nursing school does not teach a nurse all that he/she needs to know. Per your post, I gather that there are areas that you identify weakness in and it is a great thing that you have the skill of self reflection. Please know that some people take longer than others to get a good handle on being a nurse but from what you are saying I think it's normal to feel like you need improvement during your first two years. I encourage you to hang in there and sink your teeth into your job. Make a list of all of the things that you feel you need work on and address them. Study at home if you need to. Learn your policies. When giving medications make sure you TRIPLE check everything everytime. It's better that your drugs are late than giving the wrong drug unless the drug is time sensitive(i.e. heparin gtt, etc). Nursing is challenging but just like any challenge, if you come up with a game plan and stick to it long enough, you will succeed! YOU CAN DO THIS. All the best with this. If you decide not to stay at the bedside, you can go into case management, retail nursing(selling medical products), and legal nursing. I'm sure there are other things you can do with your BSN as well.  

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1 Follower; 5,946 Visitors; 856 Posts

I would like to suggest the nightshift until you get stronger in your skills if you can do it I recently switched. I have done it in the past and am now back to it. Dayshift can be rough. The nightshift crew are usually more laid back, not knocking the dayshift people. I also want to suggest psych and rehab. Psych will help you with determining if you want to do something less or more medical and rehab will give you medical skills but not quite like the ER level or ICU level . You can move up into something more medical if you like rehab but want more medical skills.

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AutumnDraidean has 20 years experience and specializes in School health, Maternal-Newborn.

2,015 Visitors; 81 Posts

First of all, I am a square peg, I get not fitting in. I also remember my orientation process 20 years ago. It was rough! Nursing school doesn’t prepare you for having eight patients on nights. I think I still sucked at my six month mark. Thanks to several wonderful people I got better every day! 

I don’t know what kind of hospital you work for, but there are two things you will need on your next unit, lower acuity and a preceptor who cares and is good at bringing up baby nurses. What you need to bring to the table is openness  and eagerness. No matter what your actual hopes are for your nursing career, if asked what kind of nurse you want to be, say, “I want to be a very good nurse, I don’t know what my specialty will be yet.” 

I worked postpartum for 13 years and every green grad wanted to work L&D. Some did great, others...not so much. I also worked in a tiny cottage hospital, they do subacute rehab and acute admissions that aren’t sick enough to go to the big hospital. A unit like that, where the pace is slower but you can get some really sick patients that you have to keep safe until they’re sent to a higher level of care or they stabilize might be a better fit. I don’t know if you have access to such a place. 

The thing about desk jobs in nursing is that if you haven’t been a bedside nurse you loose out on valuable experience. Critical thinking is grounded in experience. It takes time to learn and you’ve only just begun. 

I hope it gets better for you. 

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95 Visitors; 8 Posts

On 5/26/2019 at 9:28 PM, Lostinorlando said:

 I gave IVP ativan to a patient who was scared of an MRI. I gave it at the time it was scheduled, instead of holding it for the MRI, which hadn't called yet. Although it was scheduled, the parameters stated to hold for MRI. How can I explain this to my assistant managers and manager? I know I was wrong, and I was rushing. Luckily I was able to get the patient to the MRI right away, but it doesn't excuse a mistake.

You are absolutelly being too hard on yourself.  Beating yourself up is only going to make you unsure of yourself and you will make more errors.  Listen, im not the most "by the book" nurse out ther but ive done 5 years on med surg, ive worked in nursing homes, home health for 3 yrs, clinics, psych nursing, clinic nursing.  My medsurg experience was crucial but i cant stand part of med surg and find med passes quite droll.  My niche is clinic nursing.  Im well suited to ot, i develop a terrific rapport with pts and can explain things well.  But it doesnt not require me to use some of the skills where im weak.  

 

One of the best things about nursing is that theres a million and one things you can do.  Listen, you did right by your pt and the pt the MRI.  You recognize that you missed an important part of the order.  I would be far more concerned if you didnt realize your mistake.  Give yourself 5-6 more months on this unit (for the experience) and in the meantime slow down, read orders, try to keep the big picture in mind for you pt, dont get bogged down and stressed over the minuta, like a med pass thats a little late.  You might consider asking you supervisor to give some extra support/training or cut your pt load for a few weeks so you can regain your composure and set baby step goals for improvemeny.  On your days off, start exploring the internet for what other RN jobs are oug there in your area.  If you have a local college, you will probably be a great resource nurse.

 

Another thing in nursing is that you have the freedom to try various jobs, "job hopping" so to speak is rarely a determint in this feild

Dont give up, find your niche

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Gracefully Saved has 4 years experience as a ADN and specializes in ICU.

142 Visitors; 15 Posts

First of all cut yourself some slack. You made a mistake. It happens. Healthcare is a field where we are made to believe that we cannot be human and we cannot make errors. Yes, the consequences can be more grave, but that does not change the fact that you will make mistakes. Try not to get so discouraged. Maybe review some time management skills. Take some deep breathes before you go into work because going in with anxiety can definitely effect how you work. Maybe change areas. Great thing about nursing is it’s so versatile. I’m acute dialysis you typically only work with 1-2 patients at a time. Maybe it’s the patient load that has you stressed. If you’re determined to get off the floor you can always go into management, work for insurance companies, do him health etc. 

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