Humor: You Might be an ER Nurse

[TrafalgarRN]

Something i read somewhere and would love to share:

1. You Might be an ER Nurse if:
   
2. You consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.
   
3. You have ever tried to identify what a patient ate last by examining the barf on your shoes.
   
4. You're at the grocery store, look down and notice you have at least 2 body fluids on you shoes and it doesn't bother you.
   
5. You've ever rolled your eyes when the 14 year-old says, "No, I've never had sex"?
   
6. You've ever told a confused patient your name was that of your co-worker and to HOLLER if they need help?
   
7. You've ever passed on the green stuff at the buffet because you are certain you suctioned it from a patient earlier?
   
8. You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.
   
9. You've developed a crease between your brows from trying NOT to inhale the various human secretions you've encountered over the years.
   
10. Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
    
11. You've been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control.
    
12. Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.
    
13. You believe Tylenol, Advil, or Excedrin provides a large part of your daily calorie intake requirements.
    
14. You don't ask "frequent flyers" their history, you know it by heart.
    
15. You can keep a straight face when a patient responds, "Just two beers."
    
16. Your idea of a meal break is finishing your coffee before it gets cold
    
17. You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level
    
18. Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal
    
19. You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac
    
20. You have encouraged obnoxious patients to sign out AMA so you don't have to deal with them any longer
    
21. You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce
    
22. You believe unspeakable evils will befall you if the word 'quiet' is uttered
    
23. You have used the phrase 'health care reform' to terrify your co-workers
    
24. You have witnessed the charge nurse muttering down the hallway, "Who's in charge of this mess anyway?"
    

25....Lets keep the list populating

[JeneraterRN]

You have ever been coding a patient and the family member of the patient next door walks over with an empty cup and says, " Excuse me, but Stella needs some more water."

At least they said, "Excuse me," I guess.

[JBudd, MSN]

you automatically assume everyone with a police escort is the one under arrest

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

You see someone being dragged off in handcuffs, screaming, kicking, cursing and fighting, by two armed, bulky policemen - and you think to yourself: just another normal working day!

[TinyRNgrl]

If you have ever played baseball with a chest tube and rolled up tourniquets.

Or if you ever went bowling with lined up urinals.

Have taken a body bag and went sled riding down the hill outside the ER.

Have ever put tootsie rolls in a specimen cup and sent it to the lab on Halloween.

(True story. It was an usual and rare occasion that the ER was dead the other night).

[Altra, BSN, RN]

If you have ever played baseball with a chest tube and rolled up tourniquets.

Or if you ever went bowling with lined up urinals.

Have taken a body bag and went sled riding down the hill outside the ER.

Have ever put tootsie rolls in a specimen cup and sent it to the lab on Halloween.

(True story. It was an usual and rare occasion that the ER was dead the other night).

Yep, have done the bowling with urinals, and sending treats via the tube system. :)