The thought has EVER crossed your mind to write a book...'suicide...getting it right the first time'.
You look at a patient in the waiting room like they are an idiot when you are shocking someone who collapsed at triage and they ask...'ohmygod, is it serious?'
You want to put the following poster up on the wall in triage:
No, we don't believe you accidentally fell down while naked on anything, not fruit, not veggies, not any thing that somehow ended up "down there." It's 32 degrees outside, and you were naked in the kitchen?
If you've been here with OD, DTs, or ETOH poisoning in the last 6 months, please don't tell us you have no history of substance/ETOH abuse. The computer has a memory and so do we.
If you take the little blue pill, just 'fess up. We don't care, but I don't want to give you nitro and then pull my hair out trying to figure out what's going wrong with you.
If you're here because your supplier got arrested and you need narcotics, just say so. We'd rather get you into a detox than spend thousands on CTs and MRIs for non-existent belly, chest, or cranial pain, when there's nothing wrong. We'd rather put the person with the unexplained hematuria, BRBPR, chest pain with hx of DVTs, etc., into the scanner rather than make them wait for you.
If you come in via private car with a 2 year old who's blue and unresponsive because you fed him a fist sized meatball, I may just throw you under the ambulance you should've come in and tell them to back up.
You never go home with a full bladder after seeing what happens in a MVA with a full bladder!
You have discovered that a large % of patients lose all use of their limbs and faculties when they enter the inner sanctum of the ER..aka PLP syndrome...Parking Lot Paralysis!
You admire the veins on spouses and people at the grocery store.
you think that eating a $2, disgusting, mushy microwave meal for your 20 minute break is a 'gourmet meal'.
you’ve just read the above and you laugh your head off, thinking ‘wow, a 20 minute break in the ed would be heaven!’
you think that meeting normal people outside of work is a strange experience, because ur so used to the weird, strange and psychotic so-called human beings that turn up in ed.
you secretly think that nobody could possibly understand how crazy the ed is, until they have worked in your particular ed - especially when it's a full moon.
you find yourself assessing people in the supermarket and giving them a mental diagnosis - all in the space of 5 seconds.
i love number 8 & 19 - so true! and i love darkangel83 - so funny!
If you have a pt daily that's allergic to every non-narcotic pain med and morphine, so they MUST have dilaudid, and even that makes them nauseous and itch so they have to have benadryl and phenergan (allergic to zofran, reglan, compazine as well) with it.
Specializes in Emergency, Critical Care (CEN, CCRN).
Love these!
...If you've ever straight-facedly said "Okay, you'll feel a little pinch" while putting in a 14ga EJ.
...If you've had to crash sedate a seizing, febrile infant, with the parents standing there saying "Of course we didn't give any Tylenol, we wanted you to see how high the fever was getting!"
...If you've wished you could offer a teenage patient a surgical consult to remove that ingrown mobile phone from their fingers.
...If you've spiced up the old EtOH betting pool by adding side bets on the results of urine drug screens.
...If you can correctly cite the ingredients in a B-52.
34. You no longer love Narcan when EMS decides to slam 4mg of it at your back door on the heroin addict who is now in instant withdrawals and is PI**ED OFF.
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
You want to put the following poster up on the wall in triage:
No, we don't believe you accidentally fell down while naked on anything, not fruit, not veggies, not any thing that somehow ended up "down there." It's 32 degrees outside, and you were naked in the kitchen?
If you've been here with OD, DTs, or ETOH poisoning in the last 6 months, please don't tell us you have no history of substance/ETOH abuse. The computer has a memory and so do we.
If you take the little blue pill, just 'fess up. We don't care, but I don't want to give you nitro and then pull my hair out trying to figure out what's going wrong with you.
If you're here because your supplier got arrested and you need narcotics, just say so. We'd rather get you into a detox than spend thousands on CTs and MRIs for non-existent belly, chest, or cranial pain, when there's nothing wrong. We'd rather put the person with the unexplained hematuria, BRBPR, chest pain with hx of DVTs, etc., into the scanner rather than make them wait for you.
If you come in via private car with a 2 year old who's blue and unresponsive because you fed him a fist sized meatball, I may just throw you under the ambulance you should've come in and tell them to back up.
Ain't that the truth........?
You book the bed from triage due to the positive Samsonite sign.....(too many suitcases)
You've ever tried to explain to a parent that a 1cm chin laceration IS a survivable wound.....
You find placing a patient in four point leathers an act of kindness.........for the staff
You don't feed the visitors/patients because you don't want them to come back.
You've wondered at the male sense of invincibility and ingenuity that during a snowstorm when they use their hand to unplug the snow blower......(funny I don't recall ever having a female with that injury...)
You have ever been coding a patient and the family member of the patient next door walks over with an empty cup and says, " Excuse me, but Stella needs some more water."
)
darkangel83
38 Posts
The thought has EVER crossed your mind to write a book...'suicide...getting it right the first time'.
You look at a patient in the waiting room like they are an idiot when you are shocking someone who collapsed at triage and they ask...'ohmygod, is it serious?'