How to deal with coworkers

[enfermeratobe]

Hi there newly licensed nurse here only been a nurse for a year. My question is how do you guys deal with sometimes rude fellow coworkers/ nurses. My coworkers make me feel so incompetent at times whenever I make a mistake they announce it in front

of everyone at the nurses station and embaress me. They also take any opportunity to get others in trouble. I hear them talk about other nurses and whatever mistake they make and make it into a huge ordeal. I am also going to school part time to finish my RN and get attitude from the nurses when I can't work certain shifts. I try to remain my calm and remain my cool but being embaressed like that in front of providers and coworkers is not okay. Some days I feel like quitting. I am also the youngest of the bunch only 23 so sometimes I think it may be easier to lecture me because of that. I feel like this may be a normal feeling other nurses may have just wanted to know how you have dealt with situations like this?

[dishes, BSN, RN]

The next time one of them chastizes you at the nursing station, immediatly ask to speak to that colleague in private, once you are alone with them, say "I feel embaressed when you discuss my mistakes in a public area, in the future can you please discuss any concerns you have with my practice in private?" Role model the message through your own behaviour and words that you believe public criticism is uncomfortable and inconsiderate.

[westieluv]

You know what my theory is on this? I believe that most nurses feel incompetent and unsure of themselves at times, whether they admit it or not. It's almost impossible not to, what with all that we are supposed to know and be competent at and the fact that we have people's lives in our hands on a daily basis. It can be really scary and unsettling, but also embarrassing and humiliating to admit, so instead of coming up and putting an arm around their co-workers and saying, "Hey, it's all right. I make mistakes just like that myself, we all do. Why, just the other night, I couldn't remember how to ___________ and the patient's family members were all standing there watching me. It was awful! This is sure a tough job!", they throw their co-workers under the bus by being snarky, gossiping, and acting superior because it serves to make them feel better about themselves for the time being.

I don't know what you can do, other than develop a thick skin and remind yourself that you ARE competent, that you completed a nursing program that forced you to prove that you are clinically competent in order to pass, and passed the NCLEX too, which is no easy feat. No nurse is 100% competent all the time, and my experience has been, having been an RN for 26 years now, that often times the ones who are the nastiest are the ones who actually feel the worst about themselves.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

We moved this thread to the Nurse Colleague/Patient Relations forum to elicit more responses.

[KayStanley]

I am a new nurse as well and I am so nervous about that. The best thing to do would be just express how you feel and try to not let emotions get the best of you. Women are mean..I truly believe the work place would go a lot smoother if women empowered one another instead of bring eachother down. I'm sorry

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I am a new nurse as well and I am so nervous about that. The best thing to do would be just express how you feel and try to not let emotions get the best of you. Women are mean..I truly believe the work place would go a lot smoother if women empowered one another instead of bring eachother down. I'm sorry

Excuse me, but women aren't any meaner than men, and your post is very misogynistic. Perhaps you would find that women did empower one another if you weren't looking for the worst.

[abixxy, MSN, RN]

Excuse me, but women aren't any meaner than men, and your post is very misogynistic. Perhaps you would find that women did empower one another if you weren't looking for the worst.

I can't help myself with your masochistic responses tonight. Sure, she said 'women are mean' but you failed to read between the lines. Belittling gets you no where in this profession. I would hate to be one of your patients.

Kay's post embodies that nursing is primarily a women driven career. Inheritly, these situations often lead to other female nurses feeling threatened by other women. Ive lived through this conundrum. We're dealing with many different personalities and maturity levels here, irregardless of educational level.

[abixxy, MSN, RN]

I am a new nurse as well and I am so nervous about that. The best thing to do would be just express how you feel and try to not let emotions get the best of you. Women are mean..I truly believe the work place would go a lot smoother if women empowered one another instead of bring eachother down. I'm sorry

Just follow low that chain, chain, chain of command! I worked wih a new graduate nurse that had such a poor attitude with patients and staff that we collectively went to our manager (first) over her personality conflicts. Then when nothing changed we involved human resources (second) within the hospital & they actually paid for her to take anger management courses... it was after that we saw a change in her demeanor and work ethics.

[KayStanley]

Taken out of context- Basically, I have witnessed numerous times nurses quitting their jobs because the environment created by coworkers. If we could be more understanding, and less judgemental, helpful and open-minded rather than putting others down, then work wouldn't feel like WORK!

But look how quickly you are to put a negative twist on something...where is the love and compassion nurses are suppose to have!?

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I can't help myself with your masochistic responses tonight. Sure, she said 'women are mean' but you failed to read between the lines. Belittling gets you no where in this profession. I would hate to be one of your patients.

Kay's post embodies that nursing is primarily a women driven career. Inheritly, these situations often lead to other female nurses feeling threatened by other women. Ive lived through this conundrum. We're dealing with many different personalities and maturity levels here, irregardless of educational level.

She said "women are mean." She didn't say "people are mean" or "sometimes nurses are mean." She said "women are mean." There are mean people, but they're spread through society and they're vastly outnumbered by nice people. At least, that's what I've found. Women are no meaner than men, and to say that they are, or that nursing is "meaner" than another profession is misogynistic. Objecting to misogyny is not masochism.

People who go through life looking for mean people will always find them. People who go through life looking for nice people will always find them.

As far as "Hate to be one of your patients", it's right up there with "I would never want YOU taking care of my family" and "Nurses eat their young" in terms of absurdity. When you stoop to that level, you've lost. Your argument.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Taken out of context- Basically, I have witnessed numerous times nurses quitting their jobs because the environment created by coworkers. If we could be more understanding, and less judgemental, helpful and open-minded rather than putting others down, then work wouldn't feel like WORK!

But look how quickly you are to put a negative twist on something...where is the love and compassion nurses are suppose to have!?

"Where is the love and compassion nurses are supposed to have"? Nursing is a job, not a calling and nurses are people, not Angels. Having compassion for your patients is a desirable trait in a nurse, but it isn't essential. Compassion can be -- and often is -- faked.

Our co-workers aren't our family. They're our co-workers. Treating one another professionally is expected, and yes, we treat one another compassionately at times. But treating our coworkers with "love and compassion" is no more a requirement of employment for nurses than it is for construction workers or lawyers. That's a fallacy.

I am all in favor of understanding and nonjudgmental coworkers, but calling out women for failing to provide your desired atmosphere is wrong. It continues to amaze me how, even in a female-dominated profession, such misogynistic attitudes are allowed to flourish unchallenged.

I'll submit that treating your coworkers with compassion, kindness and a positive attitude will go a very long way toward finding that same compassion, kindness and positivity coming back at you.

[TriciaJ, RN]

You know what my theory is on this? I believe that most nurses feel incompetent and unsure of themselves at times, whether they admit it or not. It's almost impossible not to, what with all that we are supposed to know and be competent at and the fact that we have people's lives in our hands on a daily basis. It can be really scary and unsettling, but also embarrassing and humiliating to admit, so instead of coming up and putting an arm around their co-workers and saying, "Hey, it's all right. I make mistakes just like that myself, we all do. Why, just the other night, I couldn't remember how to ___________ and the patient's family members were all standing there watching me. It was awful! This is sure a tough job!", they throw their co-workers under the bus by being snarky, gossiping, and acting superior because it serves to make them feel better about themselves for the time being.

I don't know what you can do, other than develop a thick skin and remind yourself that you ARE competent, that you completed a nursing program that forced you to prove that you are clinically competent in order to pass, and passed the NCLEX too, which is no easy feat. No nurse is 100% competent all the time, and my experience has been, having been an RN for 26 years now, that often times the ones who are the nastiest are the ones who actually feel the worst about themselves.

Very true. What you're seeing is the culture that has evolved in your workplace. Not all workplaces are like this. Sounds like you have a few ringleaders dragging everyone down with them and a management that condones this.

You got some good advice to privately call out anyone who front streets you. Nothing like a little assertiveness to shut down the bullies. (I know that is an overused word, but the behaviour you're describing fits.) Unfortunately, we're not usually taught how to be assertive, so most of us have had to teach ourselves.

Remind yourself you're in this job for the experience and the paycheque. It never hurts to have an exit strategy. Good luck.