Hopeless? Hopeful? You be the judge...please

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Specializes in Almost everywhere.

Okay, I am laying out my situation because I don't know what to do about it anymore or where to turn. :banghead: Sorry if this gets long. I have been working on the same med-surg unit for over 5 years. My goal has always been to work in ICU. Last November marked my 18th yr as a LPN, most of my experience with the exception of about 3 years has been in acute care. I also have had the opportunity to work as a float nurse in a very large facility and often floated to post-ICU and the ICU unit. I had gone back to school and now have my ADN. I have been working in the same MS unit as a RN for a year. Currently there is a position open in the ICU in the facility I work in, and I am torn.

My manager is also the manager of the ICU, there are 2 others under her. I want to apply for this job but have been shot down by said manager and then myself. The floor I work on is rough, I don't expect ICU to be any less rough, but it has the nursing that I want to do. I have approached said main manager about applying, but she feels I really need more time. How much time is this? Reason I ask is because while I have only been a RN for a year, I know that there are ICUs out there that hire new grads, in fact, this ICU has in the past. So, do I need to be persuing elsewhere? :confused:Another reason I question things is because I work every weekend, the MS unit is severely understaffed, mismanaged, I have had 4 sick days in the past over 5 years, excellent evaluations, show up on time etc. So sometimes I feel like maybe I am just being kept where I am (if you know what I mean) as the ace in the hole. There have been many new changes in the MS unit, it is better than what it had been when I first started, but there are still major issues.

So I don't know what to do. One day I am telling myself that ICU nursing is what I have strived for as a major goal, and the next day, I shoot myself down and say well maybe if I became more involved in the MS floor, became MS certified, I would be okay with that. When I try to get more involved in making improvement I get told about what wonderful ideas I have and thanks for supporting in making things work, but then there is nothing more said or done or someone else gets the opportunity because they are better at kissing you know what than I am. I am out for the pt, not a whole lot of hinny kissing. But maybe I should become better at it.

I don't know if anyone knows what I am trying to say. If anyone does, I would more than appreciate your input. I am tired of telling myself that I am maybe not good enough to be in ICU when deep down I know I can do whatever I set out to do and do it well.

Thanks

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

It sounds like a tough situation - I think its time to move on. I was an LPN and then an ADN. I still worked at the same place but had to leave when they couldn't get over the fact that NOW I was an RN. They always saw me as an LPN. So...I moved on.

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Specializes in Pediatrics Only.

If you dont apply, you will always regret it.

So apply. If you get the job, thats great! If you dont, oh well, you can try again later on .

If you get it and dont like it, you can leave or transfer elsewhere.

Nursing is full of options, and if you want to try out ICU, go for it!

But, you already knew you should try and go for it, didnt you? :)

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Specializes in ICU, PACU, Cath Lab.

Do not settle...there is no reason to do so!! If you want to be an ICU nurse then go for it, if it is at your current employer...or elsewhere. Will you be happy if you never try?

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beary, i don't doubt your abilities for one moment.

and yes, i do think your mgr is discouraging you from applying just so she can keep you on the m/s floor.

i would encourage you to apply for the icu in a heartbeat...

if i didn't think your mgr would interfere w/the application process.

i'm under the impression she wants to keep you right where you are.

if you can get another higher-up to support you, then go for it....definitely.

keeping my fingers crossed.

you have yrs of valuable experience in acute care.

don't belittle yourself for 1 moment longer.

leslie

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Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.

I agree that it's time to move on. I don't think this manager is going to let you move to ICU; you're too valuable where you are.

And you are indeed very experienced, you are capable of doing whatever you want. You'll have to learn how to be an ICU nurse, but no one is born knowing it!

Good luck.

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Specializes in Almost everywhere.

I am considering talking to one of the other managers, just to see what they say...see if they think I need "more time" or what they are exactly looking for. I had talked to one a few months ago who had encouraged me to apply when there was a spot. She is like 3rd on the management totem pole.

Sometimes I just get really mad and think maybe it is time to move on all together. I think about when my manager specifically asked me who I wanted to precept me when I started with my RN and I told her, didn't get either one of the people I asked about. I got someone who was in the process of leaving and didn't care what I knew or not, in fact many days he said, "you have been at this way longer than I have, so I will just let you do your thing." So I did my thing, got 15 shifts of orientation because "you have been on the floor for five years and have been a nurse for a long time." After those fifteen shifts, I felt like I was thrown to the wolves, even cried and gnashed my teeth over it, but I have overcome. I have had to learn the famous but hard way of being thrown right in, sink or swim. I honestly feel I can do this in the ICU.

I have alot of bitterness right now and it is coming out. I am at the end of my tolerance.

Thanks to all who have responded.

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Specializes in ICU.
I am considering talking to one of the other managers, just to see what they say...see if they think I need "more time" or what they are exactly looking for. I had talked to one a few months ago who had encouraged me to apply when there was a spot. She is like 3rd on the management totem pole.

Sometimes I just get really mad and think maybe it is time to move on all together. I think about when my manager specifically asked me who I wanted to precept me when I started with my RN and I told her, didn't get either one of the people I asked about. I got someone who was in the process of leaving and didn't care what I knew or not, in fact many days he said, "you have been at this way longer than I have, so I will just let you do your thing." So I did my thing, got 15 shifts of orientation because "you have been on the floor for five years and have been a nurse for a long time." After those fifteen shifts, I felt like I was thrown to the wolves, even cried and gnashed my teeth over it, but I have overcome. I have had to learn the famous but hard way of being thrown right in, sink or swim. I honestly feel I can do this in the ICU.

I have alot of bitterness right now and it is coming out. I am at the end of my tolerance.

Thanks to all who have responded.

My (then) manager was not very supportive when I wanted to move into the ICU, but I applied anyway and don't regret it one bit. Management have their own agenda and you need to set yours.

Go for it.

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Specializes in Paediatric Cardic critical care.

I think you should start looking at other hospitals for ICU's; I work in ICU and could not imagine working anywhere else. You have loads of experience and if thats what you want you should def just go for it.

It'll definatly be worth it... good luck!:)

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You have identified the issues - the biggest of which is that you are too valuable on your floor to let go. You fill in the holes on weekends, the toughest time to find staffing, and are extremely reliable and dependable. If you want to work ICU, start interviewing elsewhere, and start NOW. This is a what you have your heart set on, it's a goal, and you need to achieve it. Maybe they will tell you you need another year, or maybe they will hire you! Never, ever let someone else be the judge of who you are, because it sounds like you then internalize this and it just isn't true. If you have great ideas and no one is listening, that's not your issue.

Get out there and go for what you want, and don't let anyone or anything stop you!

:yeah:

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Specializes in Almost everywhere.

Thank you all again for your replies. :loveya:I tried to call #2 manager yesterday, but she wasn't around. Will try to call her again today as well as search some job sites at area hospitals for an ICU job.

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Specializes in ICU, telemetry, LTAC.

Keep in mind, your manager wants reliable employees. Some managers don't exactly see you as a person, so they aren't going to be supportive and encourage you to do what you want. You show up to work all the time, so they like you where you are.

Apply for what you want. You have got the experience that will enable you to learn critical care. Be prepared for any number of things. You could get the job and have to wait to do interdepartmental transfer, that would be your manager's doing. You could not get the job and never find out a reason. You could just never get a phone call.

If ICU is something you want badly enough, be prepared to look at other options besides the hospital you currently work for.

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