HH-have you ever been attacked?

Valanda · Oct 19, 2006

I had been caring for a 3-year-old girl on a vent for 2 years on the graveyard shift. One night her father came in the room drunk at 1:30am, closed the door behind him, and asked how his daughter was -- she was sound asleep and stable. He then held out a couple of $100 bills and asked me if I'd have sex with him for that.

I told him NO, that i was not there for that, I was there for his daughter, and I was offended by his asking.

In his drunken state, he assumed it was because it wasn't enough money and kept offering more. When I finally got it through his head that I wasn't going to have sex with him for any amount of money, he started grabbing me, touching my breasts and butt. He had himself positioned so he blocked the bedroom door and I wasn't able to get out.

I spent about 45 minutes trying to convince him to leave me alone. It ended because I made enough noise that his daughter woke up. Her vent alarmed and I scooped her up out of bed and sat down with her in my lap.

The father made a disgusted grunt and left.

I spent the rest of the shift in turmoil. I didn't feel I could leave until my relief showed up because dad was obviously not fit to care for her. I also wasn't 100 % sure I would report it because I really enjoyed caring for the girl.

I gave report in the morning as usual, then when i got home I discussed it with my husband. He encouraged me to report it to my nursing agency.

When i did report it, the nursing agency owner did speak with the father and he admitted to what he had done, but i also found out that I was not the first nurse he had tried this with.

I firmly believe that if I had not used his daughter for a shield I would have been raped in that room. I am still extremely upset at the agency for sending me there when they knew I was at risk.

This family is still being provided nurses from this agency, but now they only send male nurses.

I spent 3 weeks out of work while the agency tried to find a position where I would feel safe. Sometimes I still don't feel safe. I had always felt confident at work. I don't feel that way anymore. At times, I have worked relief staffing at a small hospital or LTC facility and there have been moments when a male ambulatory patient or even a co-worker has been between myself and the door. I panic. I can't help looking at everyone as a potential attacker. It's been almost 3 years since this ocurrance, yet I still am not completely over it.

texas_lvn · Oct 19, 2006

The thing that really burns me up is that they could at least pay me for the time missed. It is not my fault, and I should not have to pay the price for something I was innocent of. I am sorry about what happened to you. You had a bigger ordeal than mine. I am glad that you got yourself out of that situation. Good luck in the future.

Ophelia78 · Oct 26, 2006

I haven't experienced this as a nurse (just starting first HH job next week), but I worked in the community for 5 years in group homes and as a psychiatric social worker before becoming a nurse. As a caseworker, part of my job was assessing the risk to myself, not only from the psych clients I was visiting, but the neighborhoods. In all those years, the majority of the risk I encountered was not from the clients themselves, but from the visitors and the neighborhoods.

I always carried a cell phone and kept it on. I always tried to stay aware of my surroundings, and if something felt off, I left. You should not be required to work in an unsafe environment. The agency has the legal responsibility to attempt to reduce risk to you on the job. If they know that you have been attacked in that home, they should not be sending someone else out there unless the risk has been eliminated. If you are pressured to work in an unsafe environment, you can anonymously report them to OSHA. I've had to do so to a group home I worked with in the past, that placed female staff with a known sexual offender, a fact they kept from workers. For that and other reasons they received 13 violations.

We nurses can also be too nice at times- if that was me I would have called 911 immediately. That man deserves to be punished for what he did.

Valanda- it sounds like you could have some PTSD. After a crack dealer broke in through the window of a client's home and threatened to kill him while a coworker and I stood by, I had so much of it myself I had to leave my job. It is only now I am feeling OK about doing the work I love in the community.

DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN · Oct 26, 2006

I have been verbally sexually harrassed. The pt is a quad and couldn't touch me if he wanted to but his words towards me during his 2x week dressings changes had been getting progressively worse even after asking him to stop. Just this week I told the DON and they DC'd him.

slou! · Oct 26, 2006

These stories are horrible. I am disgusted that some agencies KNEW of this behavior and still put nurses at risk!

I agree, they should DEFINITELY pay you for the time out of work because it is not your fault. They should also offer some kind of couseling free of charge after going through something like this...

I had something happen to me like this but not as a nurse or anything, I am a pre-nursing student. I felt really guilty afterwards because I thought I was making too big of a deal about it. I thought that people had worse things happen to them like being murdered and I felt guilty for it having such a big impact on me. Then I realized that it WAS a big deal. It was normal for me to feel how I was feeling and I shouldn't feel guilty for it. I eventually had counseling for it for about a year afterwards.. If you can not afford counseling and you are experiencing feeling of guilt or anything like that please find someone to talk to about it! They really should pay for counseling for this, especially if they knew the person was capable of this.

texas_lvn · Oct 27, 2006

Thank you for sharing.

MS._Jen_RN, ASN, RN · Nov 1, 2006

Hey guys. I was wondering if anyone else in a HH setting has ever been attacked while at a house? How did you handle it?
I work pedi HH. At a single moms apartment, the back gate lock not working, the back sliding glass door not having any form of lock on it, and you can not place wood because whoever put the door in put it in backward!
Well, I am by myself and with the pedi, not able to move, holding baby in my arms when a drunk friend of babys mom comes in. He heads straight for me. I do have some jailer experience and have taken self defense classes for years. I placed baby on floor. He grabbed my breast and grabbed my head to pull me into him. I hit him as hard as I could, kicked him in the groin and pushed him as far away as possible. He fell over the babys wc. The mom then walks in.
I called the management and told them. Filed reports, ect. told DH, and will not be working at that home again. I loved that baby very much and feel for the mom. She has been through so much, I feel really sorry for her. Uggggg. I got a job on med/surg and was going to keep working part time for the money at HH. Now, I am not sure if I should continue.

I would have called the police and pressed assult charges. I hope that's what you meant by filing reports.

~Jen

MS._Jen_RN, ASN, RN · Nov 1, 2006

I had been caring for a 3-year-old girl on a vent for 2 years on the graveyard shift. One night her father came in the room drunk at 1:30am, closed the door behind him, and asked how his daughter was -- she was sound asleep and stable. He then held out a couple of $100 bills and asked me if I'd have sex with him for that.
I told him NO, that i was not there for that, I was there for his daughter, and I was offended by his asking.
In his drunken state, he assumed it was because it wasn't enough money and kept offering more. When I finally got it through his head that I wasn't going to have sex with him for any amount of money, he started grabbing me, touching my breasts and butt. He had himself positioned so he blocked the bedroom door and I wasn't able to get out.
I spent about 45 minutes trying to convince him to leave me alone. It ended because I made enough noise that his daughter woke up. Her vent alarmed and I scooped her up out of bed and sat down with her in my lap.
The father made a disgusted grunt and left.
I spent the rest of the shift in turmoil. I didn't feel I could leave until my relief showed up because dad was obviously not fit to care for her. I also wasn't 100 % sure I would report it because I really enjoyed caring for the girl.
I gave report in the morning as usual, then when i got home I discussed it with my husband. He encouraged me to report it to my nursing agency.
When i did report it, the nursing agency owner did speak with the father and he admitted to what he had done, but i also found out that I was not the first nurse he had tried this with.
I firmly believe that if I had not used his daughter for a shield I would have been raped in that room. I am still extremely upset at the agency for sending me there when they knew I was at risk.
This family is still being provided nurses from this agency, but now they only send male nurses.
I spent 3 weeks out of work while the agency tried to find a position where I would feel safe. Sometimes I still don't feel safe. I had always felt confident at work. I don't feel that way anymore. At times, I have worked relief staffing at a small hospital or LTC facility and there have been moments when a male ambulatory patient or even a co-worker has been between myself and the door. I panic. I can't help looking at everyone as a potential attacker. It's been almost 3 years since this ocurrance, yet I still am not completely over it.

Sorry to sound litigous, but I would have called the police and filed charges and I would have considered taking action against the agency. That man had no right to act the way he did and the agency is culpable in the crime as well. They could have been accesories to your rape.

~Jen

Jo Dirt · Nov 15, 2006

Way to go, OP. I love it when people not only refuse to be victims but know how to take care of themselves.

Poor old awkward schmuck I am, though, I would be a sitting duck for an attack. Unless I could overtake him/her by sitting on the attacker....

barray · Nov 15, 2006

Before finding my present (and great job) in rehab, I worked for 4yrs. in Peds HH, took alot of verbal abuse from caregivers that seemed to have the freedom to "verbally attack" the nurse to vent their frustrations. Stood my ground, and they usually backed down. The agency was sort of supportive, but also told me that the caregivers were under stress, so not to take it personally.

Finally got tired of the non-support of the agency, and the hostile environment in the homes, and went looking elsewhere.

Loved taking care of the kids.

texas_lvn · Nov 15, 2006

It amazes me how when you are a HH nurse, you are their property and they can treat you like crap. Well, at least 99% of the time. I can not say how many parents, especially dads have commented they think they could challenge the boards and get their nursing license.

Yeah right. Nursing is more than the dx process your child has.