Help? Broken hearted & sad...

[Crystal112]

so, if this is the wrong one place to post, please feel free to move it...but no one has responded so far in the career section, so i'm thinking it might be the wrong one to post.

hey guys, i saw a career counsellor not too long ago and he told me that he doesn't think nursing

is the right career. i don't have anything personal against the advisor, but i honest feel a bit crushed and saddened. almost as if he shook my sense of direction. he's goal is not to insult me, and i do not feel offended...just really really sad.

the career advisor asked me about what i see in a work environment and many other questions. i answered honestly...now he feels it isn't right and i feel like i need to justify my want... i also have anxiety ...low confidence...and i suck at chemistry and math....at the same time, i feel like a suck at everything else i do anyway... i have an appointment to see another academic advisor for what i need to do to be a nursing student / get accepted and then i will be seeing the career counsellor again. because i have anxiety, my grades aren't high. and i realize nursing is highly competitive.

i am in second year of university.

he might have said nursing may not be right for me out of many reasons...it may be the emotionally demanding aspects...the work environment...the patient interaction...etc...whatever reason it is... i do believe he was talking in realistic terms... i feel like everyone keeps telling me "you can't" or "you shouldn't" and then they wonder why i have no confidence and it feeds into a cycle.

nursing is the only thing i have interest in, but i was afraid of it at first...i don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been. sure, i've heard nursing pays a lot, but i have a strong sense that nursing is not a field where i would go in it for the money. if it's anything, it's more of a bonus. i know that nursing takes a great deal of hard work once you graduate, the hard work is continous.

can someone give me any advice? i am very broken hearted. :vlin:

i can't accept my limits... because i have so many of them i might as well work in a low wage job. i want to push myself. my ambition in life may just to get married. the end.

i'm sad, because i have to work hard for everything in high school and even hard work didn't pay off. by the time i got to university, i felt so defeated and i'm giving up. to always be told you can't this and you can't that by many people...takes it's toll after 6 - 10 years.

if i try and fail... people will just be like, 'i told you so, why didn't you listen to me in the first place? "

if i don't try... i will spend the rest of my life dreaming instead of working towards it...or wondering what could have been.

is life even worth living if you can't do things you want, be like every other depressed adult who lived an unfulfilling life when it isn't necessary?

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Do you have any psychologists at school you can see? It sounds as if your sadness encompasses more than being told that nursing might not be a good fit for you.

Hugs.

[wsuRN09]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and it feels like everyone around is putting you down. I say prove them wrong, try and succeed! You sound like you have a passion to pursue. But you need to find someone who will be on your side and act like the support you deserve. Most schools should have a counselor available to the students through their health system. They're usually free or at least pretty cheap and a good place to start. At my university there was a pre-nursing group that met once or twice a month and it was a really great resource for me. I would look into finding out if your school has something similar. If they do, I'm sure you could meet people who would be really great at helping you succeed. I know it's very hard, but try not to let what people say determine what you are going to do with your life. I hope this helps a bit and please don't give up:)

[arpita.m.]

awww.. same thing happens to me. everytime i tell some1 i wanna do nursing, they tell me how hard it is. theres never the but the hard work is worth it part. u know u want it, so fight for it. bc trust me, this is real world, no1 is gonna hold up big signs saying, "kudos" or "you can do it". u have to beleive in urself and trust God and yourself. when ppl try 2 stop u from achieving ur full potential, know that ur in the right path. and ur been reaslistic. ur not just sittin in some corner dreamin, you are workin at it so just keep workin hard, bc just as bad deeds never go unpunished, hard work is never unfruitful. ps- think of it as weight loss. u get frustrated, you don't see results soon, but if u keep workin on it, you get the output u deserve. so cheer up :)

[Crystal112]

I am seeing a psychologist for a year now, that part has been pretty helpful. I'm progressing quite a bit. Thanks for all the support!

[leslie :-D]

I am seeing a psychologist for a year now, that part has been pretty helpful. I'm progressing quite a bit. Thanks for all the support!

oh sweetie (i have a son your age), i personally wouldn't let anyone dictate the course of my life.

if your heart is with nursing, definitely go for it.

i applied to nsg school when i was 18.

there were 7 entrance tests.

i passed 6/7 with flying colors, but flunked the chem test.

that destroyed my confidence, and i didn't try nursing again until 16 yrs later.

(and when i took chemistry in my 30's, i got an a- go figure)

whatever obstacles you think you may face, just remain determined, even if you need tutoring.

don't let anyone or anything get in your way.

not only will this do wonders for your self-confidence, you also won't have any regrets or 'what ifs'.

stick around on allnurses, and we will all get you through this.

there is an awesome student nurse's forum and also tons of members who will have your back.

wishing only the very best.

hope to see more of you.:)

leslie

[ParkerBC,MSN,RN, PhD, RN]

sometimes people give advice to try to steer a person in the right direction. unfortunately, bad advice is given. have you ever heard of dr. ben carson? i have provided a link to a page about him. this man grew up in a single-parent environment, wasn’t a good student in elementary and high school. he had a strong passion for the sciences, but didn’t perform well in them. his teachers told him for most of his life that he wouldn’t mount to being anything. he is now a neruosugeon. he is known for separating siamese twins who were conjoined at the head. today, when a rare case comes along, colleagues call upon him. yes, the same young man who was told he would never amount to being anything when he grew up has made medical history.

so, i will tell you this. if you want to be a nurse, become a nurse. don’t you worry about what counselors say. while they may have objective data (your grades) to go from, they don’t have a full understanding of the subjective data (your internal drive). be polite and ask what courses are necessary to take in order to get into the program. you may not be good in chemistry and math. in fact, there are students in my program who weren’t either and came to me for help. but i tell you they are some of the best clinical students in the group. they can relate to a patient in a way that all of the book-smart students cannot. they can walk into a patient’s room and put the patient at ease with their presence.

go for it and don’t forget. there are tutors available to help you get through some of the more difficult courses. utilize the resources available to you in order to be successful.

good luck to you!!

http://www.black-collegian.com/issues/2ndsem00/carson2000-2nd.shtml

[1blue&1browneye]

I agree with the others who tell you to follow your dreams. People forget that each of us is worth everything we dream to be and do. I've had many many people tell me not to do this, not to do that, there's no way I could accomplish that....and I really do not talk to them anymore (unless it's holidays, and then I only talk about what I choose to.) There are a ton of great books out there too to give you some positive inpiration (my favs - dr. wayne dwyer, the secrete). Ask your phychologist for a few.

What I found out is that I have to believe in myself...because nobody else does/did.

[angiebelle]

My heart really goes out to you. i get feeling down sometimes too. But that is exactly why i don't surround myself by downer people. Test scores do matter (i am coming into finals week of the second semester of nursing school, and 9 people have dropped already), but that's until school is over, and you're out into the "real world". The wonderful thing about nursing is that, ultimately, it is about the heart. Maybe my naive-ness is shining through, as i've only worked as a CNA for a few years, but this is what is driving me through school. What has gotten you into nursing in the first place? Making a list has helped me, maybe it will help you also. i'm rather angry at the guidance counselor: he should be guiding you in your direction of choice.

i went through feelings like this on my first clinical day. i had woken up late (figures), and rushed to be on time, and hadn't gotten to eat. Around 11 i got to witness a lumbar puncture in the X-ray lab- i made it through most of it, until i almost fainted on top of the tech. He escorted me out, and i made it to the bathroom just in time to dry heave. So, i got rather depressed afterward, wondering if i couldn't handle situations like that. A colleague told me "Well, there are always doctor's offices." She's right: there are so many different areas to work in nursing, i think anyone could become a nurse. Nuts to that counselor, and nuts to all the nay-sayers. i absolutely love this website- it has helped me so much!!! Find what can keep you keepin' on (personal choices: exercise, my little boys, whiskey every now and then..., Scrubs, Amy Murphy, the First Steps nurse that inspired me in the second place, my aunt, who inspired me in the first place...) Make sure you get enough sunlight, or at least bright light in the day; eat well; get a massage, take care of yourself for goodness sake!!! You can do this if you want to.

[addiesmom]

I just feel as though this is horrible, horrible advice from your advisor. If in your heart you truly want to be a nurse, go for it. Prove everyone wrong. That is what I would want to do. I would take this negative advice from your advisor and turn it into something positive. No one can tell you what you can or cannot do. You are in charge of your own destiny. If you want something enough, you will do it. I am so sorry that you had to experience this discouragement from someone that is supposed to help you achieve you goals and dreams. So sad, it makes me mad...

[trae55]

Just do it! Who cares what everyone says? I decided to be a nurse my senior year of high school and my family made terrible jokes at my expense. They said my personality was not right for it and I should go to law school. Yes, they were basically saying I was too ****** for nursing. Here it is, twelve years later and they are still saying nursing school is not for me. Thankfully, I know enough about myself to know they are wrong. I will say they are supportive by saying I will succeed if it's what I want to do. They would just rather see me do something else. Why would a counselor say nursing isn't for you? That is something I have never heard of.

[softstorms]

If you are meant to be a nurse, you will be one! Funny thing is, after that...it will never be about you again. It will always be about the pt. So, if you intend to think only about what you want and you need...then don't becaome a nurse.

If on the other hand you want to care for other people and help them....GO FOR IT! Being a Nurse is never about what we want, it is always about what the pt. needs.