I have been a nurse for three years and was a surgical tech for 13 years before becoming a nurse. 10 days ago my grandmother (who raised me) died unexpectedly after a CT scan was overlooked by her PCP. Thankfully I was able to stay by her side the entire time during the four days where she went from an independent woman to unresponsive and was with her when she took her last breath. She unfortunately died in the facility where I work. I've been back two days and I have such little faith in our medical community and am so upset about her death I want to leave nursing in general. Has anyone experienced this?
I can't say that I've experienced it, but it does sound like you could benefit rom some help working through things. Have you joined a support group or consulted your healthcare provider for referrals to mental health? I know that I benefitted a lot from some therapy sessions when I was dealing with something that was affecting my work.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your beloved grandmother. I can't imagine coming back to work in a facility where my loved one died. It must be very difficult for you.
However, early bereavement is not generally a good time to make life-changing decisions. The grief is too new and too raw, and that could be contributing to your disillusionment with healthcare in general. It may be that nothing could have changed the outcome for your grandmother; we'll never know for sure. It's not unusual to want to blame someone. But to throw away your career at this point is something you're apt to regret in the long run. If you need to, take some time off to grieve---it sounds like you went back to work too soon and you haven't had a chance to sort out your feelings. Ten days just isn't long enough for all that.
I wish you well. And welcome to Allnurses. (((HUGS)))
I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I would have a hard time working where she passed away. I have had many issues with Doctors and my relatives, it makes me feel helpless when I don't agree with what happened.