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Gossiping Nurses

Nurses   (1,650 Views | 20 Replies)
by Beau Wolf Beau Wolf (New) New

115 Profile Views; 0 Posts

I'm a new grad that just got hired to med/Surg floor and I'm worried my co-workers are gonna talk *** about me. It makes me uncomfortable that they are always gossiping about somebody.

I just want to do a good job and focus on my patients but I'm constantly thinking about all the bad stuff they are probably saying about me. I have had quite a few screw ups that make me question constantly if I'm a good nurse or even doing a good job. 

I had a pt with a Foley that I was repositioning Q2hrs when near the end of my shift (5am) I noticed that the Foley was leaking onto the gown. So I assessed his penis closer only to find the lower part is deformedand look like its splitting. I should have caught that beginning of shift but I didn't. And I feel really stupid. I called the doctor immediately and took pictures but i should have seen it before hand. 

OR when I was given a medical Run, only later find out I got a tele pt when the Charge nurse chart checked. I was so busy that I hadn't yet gotten the chance to do so yet. 

Or when I held pain medication like norco from a pt, cuz pts BPs were in the 90s. Next morning day shift nurse reprimands me saying u can give norco with 90ish BPs.

I'm constantly feeling like I'm not doing a good job and I'm making mistakes like this. I feel like I'm giving ppl loaded ammunition to gossip about how bad I am.

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12 Followers; 3,803 Posts; 28,600 Profile Views

I'm sorry but you are in for a world of misery with this attitude.

You have to do your best, learn when opportunities arise and beyond that not worry about the rest of it. With your present frame of mind you can destroy your own ability to succeed just as surely as others can harm your chances with toxic gossip.

Don't be the one gossiping or listening to it.

Do be the one striving to do your best, learning as much as possible and having a pleasant attitude.

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ArmyRntoMD is a BSN, RN and specializes in Critical Care.

314 Posts; 566 Profile Views

I have experienced this as well. When I was a new nurse I worked with a lot of gossipy cliquey young girls who loved to gossip and talk crap behind people’s backs.

I was weak at giving report, and they would talk crap about me, so my preceptor told me I needed to strengthen that and people were talking about it. So very politely, after I gabd report which I had worked hard to correctly cover everything I asked one of the nurses who had been gossiping “How was my report? Did it meet your expectations?” And she stammered and mumbled and awkwardly scrambled away like some school girl. I just wanted a critique so I could do better. From then on she was always nervous around me and it was awkward. Totally different environment than I was used to in my Line MP unit in the Army where we critiqued you whether you wanted it or not. “Wall to wall counselings” ete

 

note: holding a pain med for BP of 90 is a judgement call. Some patients I would’ve given it for far lower than that, some I won’t give if it’s under 95 or so. Considering whether collateral circulation is involved, whether they are comfort care etc. How the hell does that charge nurse expect you to learn without making your own judgements? 

Edited by ArmyRntoMD

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"nursy" has 40 years experience as a RN and specializes in ICU, ER, Home Health, Corrections, School Nurse.

193 Posts; 793 Profile Views

On 11/18/2019 at 11:07 AM, Beau Wolf said:

OR when I was given a medical Run, only later find out I got a tele pt when the Charge nurse chart checked. I was so busy that I hadn't yet gotten the chance to do so yet.

Whoever gave you report, should have indicated tele patient.  Charge nurse accepting patient to floor should have known it's a tele patient.

 

On 11/18/2019 at 11:07 AM, Beau Wolf said:

Or when I held pain medication like norco from a pt, cuz pts BPs were in the 90s. Next morning day shift nurse reprimands me saying u can give norco with 90ish BPs.

Judgement call...and if you're ever not sure, verify with provider.

 

Meanwhile, you know what, people are going to talk about you.  It's wrong, I don't condone it, but it happens and it's going to keep happening...human nature.   But they are also talking about everyone else.  A lot of it is their own misery and insecurity.  As a new nurse you should be too busy to worry if people are talking about you.  Unfortunately, when we hear something negative about ourselves,  we tend to obsess over it long after everyone else has moved on.  You're going to need to get a tougher skin.  It's tough, and not easy to do, but that's life. 

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RNNPICU has 13 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in PICU.

1,057 Posts; 12,332 Profile Views

I was weak at giving report, and they would talk crap about me, so my preceptor told me I needed to strengthen that and people were talking about it. So very politely, after I gabd report which I had worked hard to correctly cover everything I asked one of the nurses who had been gossiping “How was my report? Did it meet your expectations?” And she stammered and mumbled and awkwardly scrambled away like some school girl.

Perhaps next time ask, "I am working on improving my report, did I miss anything or is there anything you felt I could have done better? Thanks"

The way you asked seems somewhat accusatory and not realy asking about improvement. It seems like you wanted to get to her like she supposedly has done to you. 

Your description of her response seems saying she scrambled away like some school girl seems like you wanted to get back at her, rather than truly wanting to improve your report. People likel have commented to your preceptor so she could then help you. 

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RNperdiem has 14 years experience as a RN.

1 Follower; 4,221 Posts; 29,687 Profile Views

People probably aren't observing you as closely as you think. People are often distracted by their own problems.

If you are worried about gossip, you can take a few steps to make yourself less of a target. It can't be avoided entirely, but you can be minimized.

First, don't give out too many details of your personal life. Once that information is out, you can't put it back. Your pets, innocent hobbies and your vacation are safe topics. Don't participate in gossip sessions; have nothing to contribute, and if the conversation continues, suddenly remember that you have something to do elsewere. Never advertise your mistakes or put yourself down in front of anyone. The nurses will not give the reassurance you seek, but will use the information against you.

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ArmyRntoMD is a BSN, RN and specializes in Critical Care.

314 Posts; 566 Profile Views

That’s actually not the case. I politely asked her if she had any ideas for room for improvement and was very polite. I always actively seek criticism because it’s the only thing that will make you better. It’s just so many people are passive aggressive and have no intestinal fortitude and are too sh scared to discuss it with you personally. 

In general I learned you have to go to a male or older female for critique in general. Most of the younger females like drama. This has been in every place Ive worked. Never seen so much fake BS in all of my life until I got into the nursing field. 

Another note- when giving report, no one needs the drama. The Who said she said, family’s nice but baby mama this that. I don’t care. Tell me the medical crap, and the other stuff I really don’t care about. And it holds up report. Nothing pisses me off like waiting 30 minutes to get report because the nurse that I’m getting report from on one patient is getting an earful of drama (willingly or unwilllingly) from the night nurse who has to tell ALL the drama and events of the night. No one cares. Just the facts ma’am so I can start my day. 

Edited by ArmyRntoMD

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730 Posts; 9,159 Profile Views

Don’t gossip and don’t listen when others gossip.  Keep your head down and do your own work.  There are a lot of ***es in nursing.

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3 Followers; 5,588 Posts; 27,304 Profile Views

"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think about you if you knew how rarely they do."

People are too wrapped up in their own lives to spend the kind of time thinking about you that you are giving them credit for. You've got too much to worry about in terms of your practice to waste valuable brain time on worrying about being the subject of multiple conversations.

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31 Posts; 142 Profile Views

They are mean and jealous cross your t's and dot your i's.

Double check your work.

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83 Posts; 1,232 Profile Views

Gossip is the underlying current in nursing and many otherprofessions. You won’t be able to avoid it. Keep trying your best, be humble, learn from mistakes and be positive. At some-point you may find yourself gossiping too. It’s all a choice. Sounds like your doing awesome as a new nurse and keep up the good work! It’s hard and the learning curve is brutal!

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419 Posts; 5,351 Profile Views

If I have to look over a new coworker's shoulder to make sure they're not killing anyone, I prefer to have advance warning. Of course, there are ways of talking about other people's job performance that are mean-spirited or motivated by an impulse to haze or gossip or make the gossiper look better by comparison. But don't go filing all discussion of our coworkers' job performance together under gossip. There are more important principles in our field than each minding our own business, and more at stake than your feelings. 

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