Girlfriend of a NP student!!!

IsabelK · Aug 25, 2015

My husband was great at this when I was working on my DNP. He cooked and cleaned and let me have meltdowns and crying jags (yeah, it wasn't an easy program). He gave me space when I needed to study, rubbed my back when I was stressed, and cuddled up with me when I needed to just sit. When I had time (and I was working full time as an NP, too, while in the DNP program) he took me for simple things like a walk in the mall in the winter, ice cream in the summer, a drink in the evening. He reminded me to sleep and to remember that it gets better. He ran interference with my parents, who wanted to know why I was so stressed all the time. He even did some of the cleaning. We hired a friend to do the heavier housework every two weeks. Sometimes he just stood there and reminded me to get up and move around and got me away from studying for the evening.

The best thing to do is find out what is going to help your boyfriend. He may not know until he's in the swing of things. Keep the lines of communication open. Never say, "You never have time for me". He knows he won't have a lot of time. Offer to run the errands he might have normally done. Listen to him talk about clinical, studying, etc. It doesn't last forever. Actually, in some ways school is the easy part. The harder part is the first 6 - 12 months as a practicing NP.

calivianya, BSN, RN · Aug 25, 2015

He might not be able to make time to go out and do fun stuff with you quite as often, but like the PP said, you can always go over and stay in with him. Have nice dinners at his place with him. Even a busy student still needs to eat. Have him turn off the TV and put the study materials away, set the table, maybe even light some candles, and have a nice, relaxed meal with good conversation. Make meals a bonding experience instead of something to just scarf down over a textbook. I guarantee he'll appreciate the breaks.

Rocknurse, MSN, APRN, NP · Aug 25, 2015

My partner has been so wonderful and so supportive and I feel very lucky. I work full time and go to grad school, and right now she is home so she takes care of the dogs, does the grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. I don't have to worry about a thing. I wake up and my clothes are clean, I come home and my food is cooked. Those things mean I have time and energy to devote to my schoolwork. It's not just the physical things though, it's the emotional support. She tells me she believes in me, and that my schooling is priority for both of us. If you can be half of what my partner is to me, then your guy will be very lucky indeed. It's not having to worry about the little things, and the everyday stuff, and knowing I have someone there who believes that what I'm doing is for the best of both of us as a unit. On Friday nights, I cook for her, and at the weekend I will help with the cleaning and shopping. We always make time for each other and Friday and Saturday nights are sacred "us" time. We focus on the next vacation time, whether it be summer or Christmas and we make those times special while they last. School is temporary and it has the possibiity of reaping wonderful gains. It's a sacrifice but anything worth getting is.

Trauma Columnist · Aug 25, 2015

Moved to student NP forum

Applety8 · Aug 26, 2015

Hi isabel , thanks for gvng a bit of ur time it helps me and i feel at ease about on what u said .. Yes ur right, i should be flexible at all times , be patient and understanding ! But sometimes i cant help myself also not to be stressed i have too much things to think also .. But i will do try my very best to support him ! í ½í±

Applety8 · Aug 26, 2015

Hi calivianya, Yes i think that idea would work , we actually moving out together this coming september .. The only thing im worried about when my boyfriend is studying he really focus and dont want to be bother.. Thats why i even told him that im not going to talk to him 1st , not even text him , instead i am going to just put sticky notes on his computer at all times !

Applety8 · Aug 26, 2015

Hi Rocknurse , Man .. u just got so lucky to have someone like her , well i wish im one of those gf u have .. We indeed talk about having some time together , but who knows, u know he can be busy as much as we expected ! But no matter what i wont leave him even let say i cant help him n some other things ..i will stay by his side all the time !!! í ½í¸”

la_chica_suerte85, BSN, RN · Aug 27, 2015

Don't ever guilt them for not spending time with you. There is a much bigger picture in it at the end of this road. Never lose sight of that.

feelix, RN · Aug 28, 2015

It all depends what you want out of the relationship or what it means to you. If you are in it for the long haul, hang in there and be supportive.

If it is a hang, hang up.

A lot of people in my class broke up while they were at it. Even married people. I guess women don't get the kind of support readily that men do.

Applety8 · Aug 29, 2015

@Feelix, Of course,if i wouldnt be concern of my boyfriend not having time with me as he used to if i wouldnt be this worried like its an ending for me .. Not all guys are very supportive by the way. Most guys got tired also for waiting , got irritated that their gf cant spend time with them .. But in any case i want to be there for him not only this time ....... i want to be there with him as long as he let me , i want to be there for a long term..

But sometimes even till now ,we most of the times argue on every single simple things.. Im scared .. since ur a guy please tell me what to do ! i dont sometimes really understand u guys..

THANKS APPRECIATE IT !!