getting "gifts" from patient every other day

ebear, BSN, RN · Jan 5, 2011

so i have two patients that i see once a week in their home. one gives me candies,chocolate oneach visit and insist that i take it. (a sweet 80 year old lady) the other one often gives me books (she is a 85 year old librarian and she needs her books to be in good hands (i guess she meant me since at times i expressed my respect for books).she also told me that i can pick any book from her shelf (she used to be a medical librarian) and just take it, lol which of course i would feel uncomfortable in doing.she also gave me a painting that she wanted to i guess get rid off. do you guys think that it is unethical for a nurse to accept gifts from patients who insist on giving them.

your facility will have a written policy on this. follow protocol and ask your supervisor how you should respond to these sweet clients. :redpinkhe

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Jan 5, 2011

Ahh...such sweethearts! This is how I handled it:

Patient: "You take such good care of me, young woman. I have baked these cookies just for you. Please take them."

Me: "Oh my goodness, Ms. X, you are such an amazing woman to be so thoughtful! I wish that I could gobble each and every one of them up, but there are sadly strict rules that I must follow and my agency does not allow me to accept any gifts, as silly as that seems. Rules these days are sometimes strict, but if I break them, I would get into trouble and I really love taking care of you. Maybe instead of making me cookies, you can share your recipe with me?"

This approach lets them down easily but still gives them the opportunity to share something that they love with you. All they really want to do is show their gratitude, and if you ask them to share their recipe, or suggest a good author to read, it will leave them with the satisfaction of giving. The key is to divert the focus on YOU and place it back on them. Sort of a dance that you have to learn, but if you are graceful and thankful for their knowledge, they will be satisfied.

Now I want to do home health!

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN · Jan 5, 2011

Canesdukegirl is right on the money. As for the books, you could offer to get her a contact at the local nursing school where she can donate the books to those that would appreciate them.

klone, MSN, RN · Jan 5, 2011

My husband does home health and is often given baked goods. He accepts those, just as we L&D nurses accept them from grateful families when they have a baby.

leslie :-D · Jan 5, 2011

i have absolutely no problem receiving home-baked goods.

i gratefully inform the giver, that i will be putting them on the counter, so all can enjoy them.

but anything beyond that, i either have to refuse, or will suggest where said items can be donated, if that is their wish.

sounds like you're doing well, honey.

i'm very proud of you.:hug:

leslie

p.s. i had a pt that left me his (beautiful) house, in his will.

danged if i wasn't bummed about refusing that gift.

leslie

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Jan 5, 2011

Leslie, you crack me up! So glad to see your posts!

merlee · Jan 6, 2011

I would have accepted the house - it can't interfere with your care, the client is dead!!!

And I found that home health is very different from the facilities.

Some clients had gifts for all their caregivers, including PT. and the man who delivered the O2. I always encouraged my clients to answer the surveys they received, and to mention me by name. If 3 or more clients did that per quarter, then we got certificates and a chance for a gift card from the company.

When I worked in Dialysis we had a 'no home made goodies' rule! This was nearly 30 years ago, when Hepatitis and HIV were not so easily diagnosed.

And what unit turns away donuts, or bagels, or boxes of chocolates?

I believe that if you are not soliciting, and make it clear that it is not necessary, that a heartfelt gift should be accepted graciously.

HappyBunnyNurse · Jan 6, 2011

My grandmother used to give her "helpers" those little butter toffee candies. She just loved giving them a little something. When you've spent your whole life nurturing others it's hard to stop. Even it you just offer a little something.

NaKcl, BSN, RN · Jan 6, 2011

Common~~.... have to refuse a beautiful house too? I can give up on candies, but...

LOL ... just kidding! :lol2:

klone, MSN, RN · Jan 6, 2011

One of my husband's patients was a jewelry maker. He had a workshop in his garage. He made me some beautiful pieces of jewelry (semi-precious gems - peridot because that's my birth stone). I know he probably shouldn't have accepted them, but this man had NOBODY, and my husband was his only link to humanity. Those pieces of jewelry mean a lot to me. My husband was concerned that the man's house would be willed to him. He ended up leaving this employer before the man died, though.

rkitty198, BSN, RN · Jan 6, 2011

I think that is just so sweet!

These people probably dont have much in their lives and look so forward to your visits at their age. I would accept them. It probably makes them feel productive and gives them something to feel good about.

I dont see any harm in it as long as it isnt money.

My facility allows gifts as long as it isnt worth over a certain amount.

When I did home health some of the clients would be very offended and hurt if I turned down a meal, cookies or sweets- when sometimes I would gag because they werent cooked in the most of sanitary of homes. One lady who was new had a horrific leg wound and would leave her soiled dressings on the kitchen counter where she liked to prepare the goodies. Lets just say I had a lot of teaching to do that day!