Quote from New Horizons
Please don't say this is about selfishness. During the "good ole days" some women didn't work so they were able to be the care takers. What do you do when a family has children in college and both parents need to work to pay the mortgage and afford college? Even if tuition is not an issue, often both people need to work to make ends meet. I know if either one of my parents were to become ill to the point where they needed around the clock care, I am not in any shape whatsoever to stop working and care for them.
I am single and have never been married.
My parents got divorced, when my mother was 51 and she had to go back to work. She never went to college, and had a subsistance job, with limited retirement. Daddy's retirement, saved partially by her scrimping and saving, making our clothes, etc. for 25 years of marriage...went to the step witch at his death, and she changed the Will, so that everything went to her mother when she died. Momma owns her house, is the only way she makes it. House however is way too large for her to care for, and she has accumulated way too much (utterly useless) stuff to move. I try to clean in out and get a fight. She has several pets, but two have bad hygiene problems, and I cannot stand to be around them. Momma is also significantly overweight. When she falls at home, I physically cannot lift her. And it is getting to the point, that she needs me near by. The house needs serious repairs.
What do I do - move in (with my stuff in storage), fight with her to clear out the crap, screen the porch and move bad pets outside (breaking her heart) and have no life, not to mention get paid crap wages at the facility near her - repair the house - and if she gets sick, lose all the investment and have no home or life of my own?
Move nearby, and help out - a slightly more comfortable alternative, but may not be financially viable, if I am to repair the house?
Keep working heavier assignments away from home, pay for repairs, and hope that her health holds and worry?
I of course have all the lovely caring MARRIED w/ children health care couples which tell me how I need to move in and take care of Momma - to hell w/ me having so much as a date in the next 10 years or til she dies. And laying plenty of guilt trips on me. Let them try to lift her alone at night or try to get her to exercise.
I nearly lost it caring for her s/p rotator cuff repair. I was close to calling Kevorkian to TAKE ME out.