Terrified and Humiliated New Grad in LTC

[Super Ultra]

I just graduated in May from an ADN program. I was hired prn at a local LTC facility. The job market is scarce and I am desperate to take whatever I can get. 5 new grad/new hires including myself got a whole 4 days of orientation and only 2 of those out on the floor. One has already been hired as a 11p to 7a full time charge nurse, one got a full time 3p to 11p shift, and the other got a full time weekend shift. My supervisor tells me, after only TWO DAYS in a new nursing environment that my skills are not up to par, so I got none of the promotions and am still PRN, which really is fine, I guess, because clearly I'm not ready to be tossed to the wolves with no oversight for 30 patients with 20 medications apiece as well as peg tubes, wound care, feedings, etc. However, my boss made me feel like I was 1/2 an inch tall. He made me feel as if I was a substandard nurse and not nearly as good as the others I was hired with. I am somewhat sensitive and I began to tear up, but I did NOT cry. He said "are you tearing up?" with incredulous disgust. I said I was simply tired and I am no crybaby. I graduated with honors and externed at a large hospital. Something about this boss makes me nervous and when he watches me I make stupid mistakes. I don't know how to shake this, and show this guy that I can be a good and capable nurse. I also think it's a bit much to ask anyone to go out on a floor and handle 30 patients after 2 days on the floor. What do you guys think?

P.S. I thought I loved nursing but this experience is making me feel as if I've made a terrible mistake.

[mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN]

I feel for you!!!! I, too graduated in May from an ADN program and have a job LTC/rehab. It is attached to a hospital and, although, maybe not my first choice, I enthusiastically took this job. I was hired FT/3-11. I am one of only 4-5 RNs.

I feel so overwhelmed, that I am never going to get the "hang" of it. The photos in MAR make it harder sometimes if you have several pts in a row that are same gender/age/race.

I can't imagine what you are going through because I work with the kindest, most patient staff. They are wonderful to me and I still feel so inadequate. I have been there not quite 2 weeks and I am not sure how long I will be oriented. I think it depends on well they think I am "catching on." I like the work, I like the people (staff and patients), but can't shake the feeling that I will never get it. I am older and have life experience, I am not shy about asking for help and, for the most part, confident in y skills, it is the other stuff that I am afraid of-charting, phone orders, appt., all the extra "stuff" that has to get fit in.

Good Luck to you!!!!!!!! try to hang in there!! You can do it-don't let him intimidate you.

[ec2703]

All of these comments contain some great advice, primarily: Do what you feel is safe, and go at the speed you think is safe, period. Don't let someone intimidate you into going faster than what you are comfortable with. When we try and rush THAT'S when we make mistakes, I do anyway.

I just quit a job where my preceptor was golden, after six weeks I felt like I loved the place, but when reality struck it was a whole other story. I had trouble keeping up and made the mistake of voicing that to another nurse who swooped on me like a vulture. She proceeded to tear down my preceptor's methods and from that day on, she became my preceptor and it was hell. I made mistake after mistake, things I wouldn't have done otherwise but she had me so flustered. When people say things like, "you'll never make it around here," blah blah blah, be suspicious. My preceptor, who has been a nurse for over twenty five years never said such a thing. Why would this woman? I'll tell you why, she was a bully.

I quit because I was still on probation, technically, but she did make me feel like I couldn't do the job.

Your post caught my eye because I am starting at a LTC next week, where I've been hired as a charge. I do have two years' experience in Med Surg, so I don't feel totally freaked out, but it's a little worrisome, nevertheless.

In any case, I plan on using my past experiences of how to NOT handle abuse (similar to what your reaction was, unfortunately) and hold my head up. We are BSN RNs and worth something; we just have to stay the course.

Good Luck!

[ec2703]

Great advice!!!