Ok I'll try and answer all your questions. I was rushed this morning so I didn't give a lot of detail.
I work 11pm to 7am. So what I saw was mostly her being nasty to him. She initiated the move to separate moves. The day they moved to separate rooms, her husband refused to speak to her. I told her "what did you expect? you made this move without his knowledge. Its like you've left him after 51 years of marriage. He's hurt but I'm sure if you go talk to him, it'll be ok." Well she won't go talk to him because according to her now, it was the son's idea not hers and its not her fault he's angry. I've tried getting her to maybe write him a letter and tell him she misses him. But she just gives excuses on why he won't accept it and that he hates her. Its just an ugly situation, especially at their age.
I think he is of more sound mind than she is to refuse meds. The facilities position is "We can't make him take it". I'm not sure if they tried crushing the meds and putting them in food, but seeing as how he isn't eating the food they give him, I'm thinking it doesn't matter either way. This concerns me that he won't eat and won't take his meds because he used to have no problem doing this. I'm not sure if they got him to finally take his meds today or not. I'm hoping they did. Even though they are both difficult residents to deal with, I'd like to see them live a long, happy life.
Thanks for the advice. I'll look into ombudsman.