Funny things they say....

Specialties Geriatric

Published

I'm giving meds earlier to a 95 year old resident. He is usually very comical. Says he: "All these pills! How do they all know where to go??" After swallowing them, he says, "Do some of these pills have lizard skin on them, or what?"

Lol :) I love my seniors! They crack me up. Please share...

female res- "look he is wearing my clothes everynight and dances before me before putting them back!" the man she was talking about is a quad and therefore unable to walk.

Same res- "you know what! I know my roommate is planning a group sex party."

me- "really?" *roommate is the type to never suggest anything- she blushes when she sees a man's leg*

res- "yes she invited me to join."

me- "are you going to go?" *preparing for her to try to leave the unit*

res- "no way! I have my own group sex parties in the bathroom here, why would i want to go all the way downstairs."

me- *walks away*

that is too much!!!!!! I love it!

Specializes in LTC, ER, ICU, Psych, Med-surg...etc....

At lunch:

Four ladies at a table...

1st resident to 2nd resident- You gotta stop that- you're killing me.

2nd resident- What are you talking about?

3rd Resident- Good Lord! Here we go again!

4th resident- Its the same sh** every day.

1st resident- you dont have to sit bedside her.

3rd resident- I am on the other side, I am beside her.

2nd resident- What are you talking about?

3rd resident- You! We are talking about you! Turn your hearing aid on!

4th resident- Its the same sh** every day.

1st resident- (to 4th resident) You always say that!

4th resident- because its the same sh** every day...

Specializes in geriatrics.

Lol that conversation reminds me of 2 of our male residents who eat together every day:

Resident 1: "So what are you going to do today?"

Resident 2: "I'm going for a long nap after lunch!"

Resident 1: "Hey, so what time did you get your pills last night?"

Resident 2: "Oh about 8:45."

Resident 1: "Wow, that's late!"

Resident 2: "Yeah, and the food sucks today."

Same banter every day...:

Specializes in LTC, ER, ICU, Psych, Med-surg...etc....

Nurse! That man! That man over there! He...he...he told me he wanted to...well you know what!

Me: No, what did he tell you?

He told me he wanted to- oh! I just cant say it!

Me: Please tell me what happened.

Well I was sitting right here just minding my own business when he came up to me and told me that he wanted to...to...to...well he wanted to ...

Me: What did he tell you he wanted to do?

He said he wanted to (blank stare)...well sh** I forgot...but I think it was bad!

I just love these folks!

Specializes in Cardiac.

Last night at about 2030, I saw one of the residents sitting in her easy chair dressed in pajamas. I began to prepare her meds, but by the time they were ready, she was in the bathroom. I continued down the hall and returned about a half hour later. It just so happened that the CNA that got her ready for bed and myself were outside her room when she emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed and cheerfully announced, "Good Morning!"

Specializes in LTC.
Lol that conversation reminds me of 2 of our male residents who eat together every day:

Resident 1: "So what are you going to do today?"

Resident 2: "I'm going for a long nap after lunch!"

Resident 1: "Hey, so what time did you get your pills last night?"

Resident 2: "Oh about 8:45."

Resident 1: "Wow, that's late!"

Resident 2: "Yeah, and the food sucks today."

Same banter every day...:

They are always complaining about the food.

My answer to whatever it is, "I didn't cook it. If I cooked it.. it would taste better."

"Thats right honey.. you must be a wonderful cook."

Specializes in Currently hospice.

Last night I was sitting at the desk half an hour after my shift ended finishing up my charting and this precious little lady came over to me and looked at me right in the eye and said "would you rather be doing something else dear?" I honestly replied "well, yes, I would!" So she says, "well, for goodness sake, why don't you do it then?"

How smart is she??????????????????? I just laughed!

Specializes in geriatrics.

I don't blame them for complaining about the food. I wouldn't want to eat it either.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I don't blame them for complaining about the food. I wouldn't want to eat it either.

The food at the last nursing home I worked in was so unappetizing, I used to joke that I should check in for about 6 months and have no access to any other food---I'd lose 100 pounds fast. One male resident said to me, "Well, do it soon sweetheart---I need a woman and you'd suit me just fine if your beam warn't so broad!":lol2:

Specializes in Geriatrics.

One of my residents was flipping through channels on TV. I said Ellens on do you want to watch her? She said..Oh, is that the one they suspect is gay? lol hilarious:lol2: :lol2:

Specializes in SNF / med/surg-tele.

Resident : Breakfast? (its 2 am)

me : you have about 5 hours til breakfast, would you like something to help you sleep?

Resident : yes I think I would

::I'm gathering the med, pouring some ice water ::

Resident, standing in front of the desk : I said today not next week lady!

HOH resident about once a week during my pm med pass with her :

Resident : shouts 'are all these pills right?'

me : yes, mrs. so and so they're all correct

Resident : are you sure?

Me : yep, checked them myself

Resident : alright cause you know what'll happen if I die from em, right ?

me : whats that mrs. So and so

Resident : I'll come back and haunt you (cackling ensues)

before I leave the room she says 'BOO! ahhahaha'

Specializes in LTC.
I don't blame them for complaining about the food. I wouldn't want to eat it either.

I'm just so sick of the kitchen and their cooking skills (or lack of).. that thats just my answer now. I don't know what more to do. We tell them whats wrong over and over again and I just give up after awhile.

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