Bending and Breaking the Rules in Nursing

I readily admit I have either bent or broken some rules that nurses are supposed to stringently uphold. However, I hope I'm not alone when I say that some of these rules seem so cold, bureaucratic and alien. If breaking a rule will make a patient's day a little brighter, if only for one moment, I will toss bureaucracy aside and do something that is normally forbidden. Specialties Geriatric Article

I believe rules can be bent at times. Heck, I feel that some rules can even be outright broken as long as doing so has brightened someone's day.

Billie is a pseudonym for the septuagenarian nursing home resident whom I first met seven years ago when I was a brand new nurse in long term care. She was a strikingly pretty model during her youth, and even as an elderly woman with a terminal prognosis, she still maintained a whimsical cuteness and a stylish flair through tasteful choices in makeup, haircuts, clothing and jewelry.

Billie received hospice services because her physician did not expect for her to live another six months due to advanced congestive heart failure. Although she barely stood five feet tall and weighed no more than 100 pounds, her lower extremities were chronically wet, weepy, heavy, discolored, swollen, and resembled crude elephant legs. Diuretic medications did not help to pull the extra fluid off. Neither did pressure wraps, sodium restrictions, or keeping the legs elevated. Keeping her comfortable was an uphill battle.

She suffered from mild cognitive impairment, but was very well-versed regarding her dietary restrictions. One day she asked me, with the impression of defeatism stamped on her face and a sense of sorrow prominent in her tone, "Will I ever be able to eat a hamburger again?"

My dark brown eyes made contact with her pale blue eyes. I realized some of the things that I, a young and reasonably healthy adult, take for granted are small pleasures that many elderly nursing home residents will never enjoy again. Most, if not all, of these people will never take another vacation to a faraway city, state or country. Some will forever lose the ability to walk. Others will be robbed of their ability to talk after having a stroke. Still, others will never be able to enjoy a tasty meal due to dysphagia, feeding tubes, pureed textures, restrictive diets, or the notoriously bland foodstuffs commonly served to institutionalized elders.

Some Rules Were Made To Be Broken I did something I should not have done. I broke a rule. During my lunch break I visited a local fast food joint and ordered a hamburger with extra tomatoes. Since Billie spent the vast majority of her time in her room due to depression, smuggling the burger to her was an easier feat than I had expected. Her eyes lit up with joy and anticipation.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she exclaimed. She kept her door closed and picked at the burger for several hours, eating the fixings individually before finally polishing the sandwich off. This was the first hamburger she had eaten in several years.

Billie died a couple of months later. She passed quietly, serenely, on her bed in the nursing home surrounded by the hospice nurse, a nursing student, and myself. She had two attentive adult children who visited frequently, but they did not want to be present during her final hour.

I broke a rule by supplying an elderly resident under my care with an unhealthy food item. But if it alleviated some of the bleakness of her existence during her final days on earth, I feel no shame for doing what I did. To every rule there's an exception.

I wish I have the courage to bend and break the rules for the sake of making others happy as my conscience is very strict =(!!!

Specializes in CCM, PHN.

Reminds me of when I volunteered at an AIDS hospice (well it was a group home, but in the 90s we didn't call it a hospice even though that's what it was) and cared for this wonderful man. He was 6'4 and near the end, he wasted away to only 100lbs. or so. He spent a lot of hours sitting in a deep bathtub of warm water, nothing else was very comfortable for him. One night I asked him if he'd like anything to eat or drink and out of the blue he said, "you know what I'm craving? A big, day-glow fruity island cocktail. In a big glass, with the little umbrella and garnishes and a straw. Ice cold. I miss sipping drinks like that on vacation."

Well, of course there were several men in recovery at this place and alcohol was banned. At first I thought, I'll figure out how to make a virgin drink like that for him. I called my uncle who was an ex-bartender in his 60s. I'll never forget it. He said "to heck with that. Let's make this man a proper drink." I stopped by his house the next day and there he had a whole setup, a Thermos with the drink in it, and a hurricane glass packed with fruit, umbrella and straw. He even wrapped it all up in a box so I could smuggle it in.

I did. I arrived & found my patient in his bath, candles lit & music playing as usual. Got a huge container of ice from the machine, and locked the door behind us. I took out the glass, iced it and poured the drink. It was a hideous bright blue and loaded with rum. I fixed up the garnishes and umbrella and gave it to him. I have NEVER seen such a blessed out look on a human being's face!

After only 5 or 10 minutes I could see the blue drink coming out of him in the bath water. His GI was so destroyed that almost anything he consumed was passed so quickly he couldn't absorb it. I didn't say anything. I let him enjoy the cocktail. He finished about half, then handed it to me and said "you finish it. I insist." (I was not a nurse then and an off-duty volunteer). I pulled up a chair next to the tub and settled in. We sat there a long time, talking about our favorite vacations and wild times. I very stealthily changed the bathwater until it was clear again.

He died about a month later. At the visitation I tucked the little cocktail umbrella in his suit pocket and kissed him goodbye.

ichanges

Loved this. I hope someone would do that for me.

Specializes in Med/Surg,Cardiac.

Your stories are always wonderful. Very inspiring! I've never considered a hamburger to mean so much before!

~ No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent -Eleanor Roosevelt ~

Thank you for sharing this and breaking the rule for that woman.

Specializes in Dialysis. OR, cardiac tell, homecare case managem.

I have not done it for a patient, but I would do that for my mom all the time. When she was in long-term care they put her on a puree diet. I was like no way. I am an RN and understand all the implications etc. I and my sister both signed a form releasing the care center from any legal issues if my mom wanted something that was not puree. Mom had Alz. disease and my theory was when mom goes I want her to be as happy as possible. If she went while eating cake or a grilled cheese so be it. That said my sister or I were there everyday for at least one meal usually supper and we both brought in numerous burgers, shakes, cookies, cakes etc and always supervised her with them. Mom loved to go to Donalds as she would call it and loved to drink soda, so once or twice a week and every weekend if mom was up to it we took her out and to eat , shop, church etc. We tried to keep her life as normal as possible. The only reason we even went to long term care was mom started having seizures and it became a safety issue. Well anyway. I don't think you did anything wrong and you made a resident very happy. Sometimes it is these things that keep them going. I always brought mom birthday cake and cupcakes etc at holidays just so she knew what time of year it was and that she was still a huge part of our lives. Yes there is a need for rules, but rules can be bent sometimes.

This reminds me of a lady I once took care of who was perfectly sane. Her friends and family smuggled some forbidden snacks into the facility and made her promise not to tell. She went all out to keep the secret. She stayed in her room, refused to speak, eat, or do anything until all her snacks where gone. Because the nurses had no idea what was going on with her, they documented in her chart that she was showing signs of dementia...lol When she found out, she was furious. Apparently, it's hard to live down documention that says you may have dementia.

Good on you for giving her some joy. She was in hospice care and so deserves to be able to have what ever she would have wanted. It is nurses like you that make me want to carry on and get my nursing degree.

Specializes in Med Surg.

Just a student question here. Why does LTC have a rule about food items for patients whose care is being managed by hospice? I don't get it? What's the rationale?

God bless you, Commuter. You can be my nurse anytime. When I was a visiting nurse, I made daily dressing change visits to a diabetic octogenarian. He also missed his hamburgers. Every 2 weeks, I would stop @ a nearby fast food takeout & bring him a burger w/extra pickles, & small fries. In addition, I had a neighbor, 87 years old, in renal failure, on dialysis @ a low protein & low sodium diet. I used to stay w/him when his wife needed a break. He would tell me that he hated dialysis because of the diet & would rather be dead. I made a pot roast for my family one day & saved a plate for him. 2 days later, I went to spend some time w/him & brought the meal w/me. He loved it & cried over my "kindness". I was petrified that he wouldn't make thru the night. He did make it & the next day was dialysis. So I was glad that I had done it.

I don't know about the rules where you worked, but when I worked with hospice patients, we were told that whatever the patient wanted we should try to provide it. The orders were only there to cover all the bases, but the patients should be given the autonomy to choose what they wanted in the final days, weeks, or months of their life. Thanks for the great story. JoyKay

Specializes in Medical-Surgical, Supervisory, HEDIS, IT.
I believe rules can be bent at times. Heck, I feel that some rules can even be outright broken as long as doing so has brightened someone's day.

Billie is a pseudonym for the septuagenarian nursing home resident whom I first met seven years ago when I was a brand new nurse in long term care. She was a strikingly pretty model during her youth, and even as an elderly woman with a terminal prognosis, she still maintained a whimsical cuteness and a stylish flair through tasteful choices in makeup, haircuts, clothing and jewelry.

Billie received hospice services because her physician did not expect for her to live another six months due to advanced congestive heart failure. Although she barely stood five feet tall and weighed no more than 100 pounds, her lower extremities were chronically wet, weepy, heavy, discolored, swollen, and resembled crude elephant legs. Diuretic medications did not help to pull the extra fluid off. Neither did pressure wraps, sodium restrictions, or keeping the legs elevated. Keeping her comfortable was an uphill battle.

She suffered from mild cognitive impairment, but was very well-versed regarding her dietary restrictions. One day she asked me, with the impression of defeatism stamped on her face and a sense of sorrow prominent in her tone, "Will I ever be able to eat a hamburger again?"

My dark brown eyes made contact with her pale blue eyes. I realized some of the things that I, a young and reasonably healthy adult, take for granted are small pleasures that many elderly nursing home residents will never enjoy again. Most, if not all, of these people will never take another vacation to a faraway city, state or country. Some will forever lose the ability to walk. Others will be robbed of their ability to talk after having a stroke. Still, others will never be able to enjoy a tasty meal due to dysphagia, feeding tubes, pureed textures, restrictive diets, or the notoriously bland foodstuffs commonly served to institutionalized elders.

I did something I should not have done. I broke a rule. During my lunch break I visited a local fast food joint and ordered a hamburger with extra tomatoes. Since Billie spent the vast majority of her time in her room due to depression, smuggling the burger to her was an easier feat than I had expected. Her eyes lit up with joy and anticipation.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she exclaimed. She kept her door closed and picked at the burger for several hours, eating the fixings individually before finally polishing the sandwich off. This was the first hamburger she had eaten in several years.

Billie died a couple of months later. She passed quietly, serenely, on her bed in the nursing home surrounded by the hospice nurse, a nursing student, and myself. She had two attentive adult children who visited frequently, but they did not want to be present during her final hour.

I broke a rule by supplying an elderly resident under my care with an unhealthy food item. But if it alleviated some of the bleakness of her existence during her final days on earth, I feel no shame for doing what I did. To every rule there's an exception.

After doing my hospice rotation, you learn that people on Hospice kind of go by a different set of nursing rules. Unless this patient was NPO or had dysphagia to where the hamburger would put her at risk for aspiration, I do not see ANY problem with granting her wish. You were managing her symptoms (anxiety and depression) which is what hospice nursing is.

I applaud you for it :)