When friends become b*tchy

  1. Now is a really weird time for me in school. Now that we are so close to the end of the nursing program here the pressure is on BIG TIME. People are failing the pathophysiology theory exams left and right and they already know they are not going to pass the class. A few people that I used to hang with are now throwing down attitude and not talking to me because I am passing and they are not.

    Quite a few people also failed the last math and pharm exams. We are not allowed to pass meds in clinical if we fail a math exam, so those who did not pass have been suspended from clinical for 2 days until they re-take the math. If they fail again they will be withdrawn from both the lecture class and the clinical and they cannot continue in any nursing course until they do math remedials which is really a semester of algebra, prevention of medication errors, safe patient care, and some other bulls*it classes. Based on the level of difficulty of these math problems, I think some people already figure they are not going to pass that either. I prepared really hard for this math exam and I passed it with 100%. That's the very first time I ever passed a math exam with 100%, and I was feeling really good about it but there were a few people who were VERY unhappy about the fact that I passed and they did not.

    One guy who used to be a very good friend and study partner of mine just got booted out of the program last week for failing a pre-clinical drug test earlier in the semester. He had taken up with some paramedic dude who's a drinker and a pothead, and they were both expelled when all that crap they're smoking and snorting showed up in their drug test. They say it was unfair that they were thrown out, and they're upset that I don't agree that they should smoke be able to take drugs and then show up for clinical the next day to do patient care---just because I'm their buddy. Please! We all had to do the drug test, and why should I feel guilty for their decision to use?

    I've gotten to the point where I'm not enjoying nursing school anymore. It used to be interesting but now everyone is all burnt-out and grouchy and nasty. Not that the stress isn't getting to me, too. But I suppose another way of looking at it is that most of us probably won't be seeing each other again after the program ends, and maybe its just time for these some of these 'friendships' to end.

    I don't know if anyone else is experiencing these things. Sorry to go on, but I needed to get this out.

    I feel better already!
    •  
  2. Visit Tony35NYC profile page

    About Tony35NYC

    Joined: Jun '03; Posts: 528; Likes: 15

    16 Comments

  3. by   PHTLS
    Quote from Tony35NYC
    Now is a really weird time for me in school. Now that we are so close to the end of the nursing program here the pressure is on BIG TIME. People are failing the pathophysiology theory exams left and right and they already know they are not going to pass the class. A few people that I used to hang with are now throwing down attitude and not talking to me because I am passing and they are not.

    Quite a few people also failed the last math and pharm exams. We are not allowed to pass meds in clinical if we fail a math exam, so those who did not pass have been suspended from clinical for 2 days until they re-take the math. If they fail again they will be withdrawn from both the lecture class and the clinical and they cannot continue in any nursing course until they do math remedials which is really a semester of algebra, prevention of medication errors, safe patient care, and some other bulls*it classes. Based on the level of difficulty of these math problems, I think some people already figure they are not going to pass that either. I prepared really hard for this math exam and I passed it with 100%. That's the very first time I ever passed a math exam with 100%, and I was feeling really good about it but there were a few people who were VERY unhappy about the fact that I passed and they did not.

    One guy who used to be a very good friend and study partner of mine just got booted out of the program last week for failing a pre-clinical drug test earlier in the semester. He had taken up with some paramedic dude who's a drinker and a pothead, and they were both expelled when all that crap they're smoking and snorting showed up in their drug test. They say it was unfair that they were thrown out, and they're upset that I don't agree that they should smoke be able to take drugs and then show up for clinical the next day to do patient care---just because I'm their buddy. Please! We all had to do the drug test, and why should I feel guilty for their decision to use?

    I've gotten to the point where I'm not enjoying nursing school anymore. It used to be interesting but now everyone is all burnt-out and grouchy and nasty. Not that the stress isn't getting to me, too. But I suppose another way of looking at it is that most of us probably won't be seeing each other again after the program ends, and maybe its just time for these some of these 'friendships' to end.

    I don't know if anyone else is experiencing these things. Sorry to go on, but I needed to get this out.

    I feel better already!
    That's sad. I got closer to my fellow soldier LPN classmates towards the end of our 2 year practical nursing program. I guess it's different in the RN program with all the advance classes. I still see some of those fools at my unit once in a while. Some aren't practicing anymore and some became RN's!
  4. by   kc2004
    CONGRATS on your exam results.
    as for your "friends", I wouldn't worry
    too much about them. You have worked too hard
    and too long to get bummed out by people who
    didn't take their education seriously. I have a feeling
    that they are more angry at themselves for messing
    up than they are at you for a job well done. Also, you
    are right about not seeing them anymore. They aren't passing
    so they won't be getting a job. Also,if they were really your friends, they would have been happy for you getting a passing grade. Keep up the good work, and continue to do what's best for you.
  5. by   crb613
    Quote from Tony35NYC
    Now is a really weird time for me in school. Now that we are so close to the end of the nursing program here the pressure is on BIG TIME. People are failing the pathophysiology theory exams left and right and they already know they are not going to pass the class. A few people that I used to hang with are now throwing down attitude and not talking to me because I am passing and they are not.

    Quite a few people also failed the last math and pharm exams. We are not allowed to pass meds in clinical if we fail a math exam, so those who did not pass have been suspended from clinical for 2 days until they re-take the math. If they fail again they will be withdrawn from both the lecture class and the clinical and they cannot continue in any nursing course until they do math remedials which is really a semester of algebra, prevention of medication errors, safe patient care, and some other bulls*it classes. Based on the level of difficulty of these math problems, I think some people already figure they are not going to pass that either. I prepared really hard for this math exam and I passed it with 100%. That's the very first time I ever passed a math exam with 100%, and I was feeling really good about it but there were a few people who were VERY unhappy about the fact that I passed and they did not.

    One guy who used to be a very good friend and study partner of mine just got booted out of the program last week for failing a pre-clinical drug test earlier in the semester. He had taken up with some paramedic dude who's a drinker and a pothead, and they were both expelled when all that crap they're smoking and snorting showed up in their drug test. They say it was unfair that they were thrown out, and they're upset that I don't agree that they should smoke be able to take drugs and then show up for clinical the next day to do patient care---just because I'm their buddy. Please! We all had to do the drug test, and why should I feel guilty for their decision to use?

    I've gotten to the point where I'm not enjoying nursing school anymore. It used to be interesting but now everyone is all burnt-out and grouchy and nasty. Not that the stress isn't getting to me, too. But I suppose another way of looking at it is that most of us probably won't be seeing each other again after the program ends, and maybe its just time for these some of these 'friendships' to end.

    I don't know if anyone else is experiencing these things. Sorry to go on, but I needed to get this out.

    I feel better already!
    I know exactly what you mean. There is a girl I am (or I thought) friends with we would study together some & quizz each other. Recently it is like we are in competition, as soon as the instructor gives us back our test to look over she is grabbing mine to see what grade I got. Crap! do you mind if I see it first?? Anyway it just so happens I always score higher than her & she just cannot stand it. I told her if it bothers you that bad don't ask don't look. I don't care what grade anyone makes I just hope we all pass. She always says "you are just lucky" well no, I work my butt off!! I do make good grades but I do not broadcast them & really would rather not say for this very reason. I guess people are always looking for someone or something to blame for their short comings to make them feel better. I intend to continue to do the very best I can & I encourage you to do the same. Don't let them get you down!! Keep up the good work it will all be over soon.
  6. by   DDRN4me
    Tony, chin up...this is such a stressful time for all of you and sometimes tension gets the best of people... congrats on the 100!

    as far as the guy with the drug issue..you play you pay!!
    best of luck for the rest of the semester ..the end is near!!
  7. by   Tweety
    Tony, you have to leave them behind and move forward with your program and not look back. You've worked long and hard and deserve your place in the graduation line.

    It's a tough program and only the strong survive. I didn't experience much of what you have, as I was a loner in my studying, and we didn't have a whole lot of people fail that close to graduation. People that resent other's success where they have failed or are struggling are very immature.

    Hang in there, it's almost over.
  8. by   ProfRN4
    tony, it comes down to professionalism. you're right, you all had to take the drug screen, knowing the consequences for failing. and you all know the consequences for not passing your classes.

    if your nursing program is anything like mine was, you eat, sleep, drink and study with these people for 2 (or 4 years). my school was very small, and you were with the same group for the entire 2 yrs. and, since i've graduated, i've run into exactly one nurse in the field, and very occasionally speak to one (who was my closest friend). you will most likely go your separate ways. this nursing school thing is so competitive, and it doesn't really get much better after (in the real world).

    worry about yourself, cause no one is worrying about you
  9. by   mercyteapot
    Some nursing school relationships that resemble friendships turn out to be based only on proximity. Those fall away after nursing school. Some fall away during nursing school, for the reasons you've mentioned. Others last for years. Its unfortunate, but natural. Don't let the emotions cause you to take your eye off the prize, finishing and becoming an RN!
  10. by   purplemania
    Are you getting your license to impress your friends or advance your career? Sounds like these people are not really friends to begin with, just acquaintances on the same path as you for a time. You will travel farther, I am sure. And you will meet more people along the way. Sorry this adds to your stress though. Surround yourself with family if you can.
  11. by   URO-RN
    You've worked hard, and the end is in sight. Be proud and concentrate on where you want to go from here.

    I now live by my tag line below....

    Good luck and much success to you.
  12. by   wonderbee
    Tony, it's all going to be history very soon.
  13. by   twinmommy+2
    You know, not just in nursing school but everywhere in life, when the sh*t hits the fan, you find out very quickly who your friends really are. You are doing such a good job, don't let the negative people drag you down!
  14. by   Altra
    You're so right about it being a stressful time. At my school, you're with the same small group (12 or less) of people throughout the 4 specialty rotations. That kind of intimacy is like a family. And as in any family, there's the good, the bad, the too-weird-to-describe, and occasionally the out-of-control. We've got variations of all of these in our group.

    It's kinda funny that you posted this, because I've been noticing that a couple of people seem to be on the edge, and I would have thought it would be smooth sailing at this point. On the other hand, I know my own stress level is increasing daily as I undertake the ever-looming job search. I'm fortunate to be in an area with many hospitals, so I have choices. Maybe too many. I'm trying to weigh what's best for me & my family.

    Maybe some of this is that we (most of us) have a healthy respect and maybe a little fear of the responsibilities we're about to take on.

    As for the 2 buddies ... I'm sorry to hear it, but that's kinda (literally) a no-brainer. I can understand your conflicted feelings about it -- these nursing school friendships can feel intense, because they're based at least in part on the intense experiences you have in common. Their loss.

    Hang in there ... eyes on the prize.

close