Vent: Studying At Home w/ Family Around

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I just had to come vent. I am soooo frustrated. I am generally crazy busy, and due to a surprising turn of events, was able to stay home today. So I'm like... yay! I get to knock out a couple of chapters, do a little baking (it relaxes me) and get some laundry done.

I am here alone with my teenage son, whom I homeschool. The only reason that we are able to do that is because he is generally able to do everything near COMPLETELY independent of me. Every night when I get home I see any problems he has skipped (his work is computer based so I can also check his grades/notes from him/things I need to grade because they were interpreted assignments) and we go over them together and I reassign them for the next day once he understands him. Its pretty straight forward and not at all time intensive.

But... today I am home and needed to get ahead on my work for the next week, and HE WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE FOR TEN MINUTES!!!!! I know he's a kid, but its my ENTIRE FAMILY that is like this. If I am exhausted and try to sleep, someone has to come "ask me something" (some nights I don't get home from class until 10:30pm and some mornings I have to leave by 5:45am). And every single time that I stop, I have even more trouble getting my head back into it than I did the time before. It takes me 20 minutes to get back on task, atleast.

I dont really need anything. I'm just stressed out b/c I did not do as well as I had wanted to on my last test and saw this as an opportunity to get a few hours of steady uninterrupted time in, and I can barely get one paragraph comprehended before I'm interrupted. He's come in twice since I started this... both times to "tell me something" ... one to say he was going to take his test now (it is automatic so there's nothing I need to do what so ever) and once to tell me that the internet was not working (it is, but the laptop he is using has wireless so sometimes it loses its connection...and he is not even supposed to be ON the internet b/c he's supposed to be doing his schoolwork)

SO yeah.... I am just so dang ticked off that I've wasted the whole day. I did get to make a pie and some peanut butter cookies this morning, but now I just cant get back focused on schoolwork. It is SO much easier when I am not home. I love my family but they make it SOOOO tough to be a student. (in the past I have actually gone to work 6 hours early and sat in the cafeteria and studied b/c nobody was around to bother me)

I wish I had less trouble focusing and staying / getting back on task. :(

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Specializes in tele, oncology.

I just laid the baby down to sleep, so I can say with a straight face "Aw, he just needed some mommy attention." (Totally sexist of me, but I'm assuming you're mommy b/c you baked.)

I understand exactly where you're coming from. If I'm making flash cards, the two-year-old has to be on my lap with his own stack of index cards to scribble on. On the computer? He has to be on my lap trying to type while I am. On the couch reading? He has to be yanking at my shirt telling me to "siddown" and play cars with him. I love him to death and love playing with him, but mommy's gotta study or mommy's gonna flunk. And while the other students in my class think it's incredibly cute that all of my books and notes are adorned with his artwork, ususally done in a highlighter, I don't find it all that amusing anymore.

At least my ten year old is willing to drill me with my flash cards or listen to me explain obscure topics to him, although he whines at me when I leave to go to school and tries to get me to tell my teacher "Your son is at home and dying so you gotta leave lecture early". I tell him the only risk of him dying is that if he doesn't let me do my homework, I'll kill him. Said in the most loving of ways, of course.

I was trying to write a paper the other night and my husband, of all people, interrupted me about every two minutes for non-emergent crap. It was all I could do to not scream "I deal with this from the kids while I'm doing this stuff, could you please be a grown up and F off for twenty minutes?" He's usually really good about not bothering me, but the computer's in the living room with the TV right there, so when he's hanging out watching it while I'm doing homework, it's a constant distraction.

Why oh why couldn't I have done this before I had kids? Oh yeah, b/c I always have to do things the hard way...

I just can't wait (dripping sarcasm here) until the oldest three and I are in college at the same time. Hopefully by then we'll be able to afford a big enough house that we can have an office or two and multiple computers.

Maybe we should have a whole forum of our own just for returning learners with families to deal with at the same time?

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I'm so sorry you are having a "day"....know that we all have them. I am also trying to get some things done today and my 4 year old son is supposed to be having his quiet time while my 21 month old takes his nap---perfect opportunity for me to do these things. However, my 4 year old has other plans---he's not doing his mandatory rest time and is instead calling me to him every time he makes a move--i.e. "Mommy, I need to go pee-pee" (He is completely independent on the potty). As frustrated as I started to get, I took a deep breath and said to myself--aloud---"Someday soon he will not want me"---and that sort of helped...LOL. Hang in there...

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Thanks for the support. :) I'm over it today and decided to give my teen an "easy day" with his work if he will let me alone to do mine. I was just going NUTS yesterday lol and it seems you all relate. I try really hard to give him "mom time" as much as I can, but it seems like the more I give, the more he expects, yk? He's just a kid and I get that though.

You're right back2thebooks, someday soon he may not want me. I'm really surprised that he still does to the extent that he does, bc when I was his age I avoided my parents like the PLAGUE.

mama D, I could have written your response! Its exactly how I feel, right down to the sarcastic "leave me alone or I'm going to kill you" said with love and slightly veiled frustration, lol. Especially this:

Why oh why couldn't I have done this before I had kids? Oh yeah, b/c I always have to do things the hard way...
You and me both! But atleast I really appreciate my time with the family (when I actively cleared my schedule for 'family time') and every grade I get, I know that I earned and feel really good about getting. When I was a teen school came so easily to me that I never took it seriously at all and never cared or had to try for anything. I'm convinced it made me spoiled and a bit of an intellectual 'snob' for quite some years, lol. Cant help but wonder if I had actually had to TRY in high school, if I would not have squandered the educational opportunities I had pre-kids. But I digress. ;)

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I am very thankful for what I have, even when they drive me crazy. I love my family more than I ever thought I could love another person, ever, and I am lucky that they love me enough to harass me. I'm also very thankful that I have somehow managed to keep a decent grade in my classes with babies puking, teens insisting the world depends on sharing random facts in the middle of recording my reading of my chapters, and a husband who wants to help me so badly that he makes everything take twice as long. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

Just wanted to give all you Moms a big thumbs up! No way could I have done both. I was frustrated enough just trying to keep DH out of the room so I could study. Hang in there!!!

:up:

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Specializes in tele, oncology.

you and me both! but atleast i really appreciate my time with the family (when i actively cleared my schedule for 'family time') and every grade i get, i know that i earned and feel really good about getting. when i was a teen school came so easily to me that i never took it seriously at all and never cared or had to try for anything. i'm convinced it made me spoiled and a bit of an intellectual 'snob' for quite some years, lol. cant help but wonder if i had actually had to try in high school, if i would not have squandered the educational opportunities i had pre-kids. but i digress.

omg, we're twins! i graduated high school with a near 4.0 (it was a 3.98 or something like that) without ever studying. then i went to college with a new boyfriend in my life (he's my hubby now :) ) and managed to make a rocking 0.16 gpa my first semester. heck, it was paid for with a full ride scholarship and loans that were not grade dependent, so who cared? i was having fun, and totally burnt out on school by that time.

it took having my now ten year old to get my butt in gear and my act together. i graduated lpn school with a 3.85 and top of the class, and i earned those grades for the first time in my life. i had a brand new baby, was working nights, and breastfeeding.

now that i'm back in school again, for the second time (first time back got interrupted when i got pregnant again), i'm finding that if i dedicate just a little time to studying i'm doing okay. i'm also having to accept the fact that although i got a's with no real work as a teen, as a working mom i need to be satisfied with b's. i'm not willing to shut my kids out completely just for getting that a instead of a b. here we are at the end of the semester though and i'm finding that i just might manage to pull off a's instead, so i'm trying to buckle down and sacrifice sleep time to get those few extra points to make the difference.

the bad part is that i have over a 3.0 gpa, so anything less than an a will pull it down...it's a constant struggle in my head as to what i'm willing to accept. what i know i'm capable of sans family, or what i can fairly easily accomplish with little change in my involvement with family activities and caretaking?

oh, well. at the very least, i'm hoping that the importance of getting a college education before you start a family is being beaten into my kids' heads. maybe they'll learn from my mistakes.

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my kids (and husband:D) "bug" me when they are needing/wanting some attention. Its so easy to get caught up in our homework/studying, lol. If I am home, my kids generally jump all over me for attention.

i'm sorry you didnt get to have the day you wanted...it will happen one day though!

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