You said you had family issues going on during the simulation, which is why you think you didn't pass. Then, you were told you would have passed the day prior. I assume that's because you were not stressed about your loved one, and the next day (the day you were graded on your simulation), you were stressed because you found out the well-being of your loved one was uncertain? If that is the case, that means you were able to practice before you did the graded simulation? If they said you would have passed the day prior, they must have seen you practicing in order to know that?
In any case, in my experience simulations don't tend to have some sort of checklist of this is what needs to be done to pass. When we did simulations at my school, we got a "report" on the pt beforehand, then we got our assigned roles (charge nurse, RN 1, RN 2, etc.). From there, we just winged it. They watched us to see how we did, and after we had a "post conference" and the instructor would explain why our pt died or sometimes would say what someone did wrong. But, for the most part, they asked us how we thought we did and what we might of did differently.
Sometimes the simulations ran really smooth and other times it was like the wild west!! I think it has a lot to do with who ends up in your group, and people sticking to assigned roles. We had 2 simulations at the end where they didn't give us assigned roles. The 1 simulation, 2 of us tried to say right when we started that we should decide who will do what, but the others just wanted to get right at it. The 2nd simulation, we all decided who would do what from the beginning and it ran very smoothly. You just need to think about what you would do in that situation. Things aren't always going to run smoothly or perfect. When you're caring for a pt on your own, no one is going to tell you, "You need to do this, this, and this to keep your pt alive." You just have to figure it out. And that's what a simulation is about. Seeing how well you can handle it.