Parent Guilt

  1. Any tips for dealing with mom guilt and setting boundaries between family and school? I have a one year old son and I am having the hardest time being away from him for school, I know it will only better his life, but I feel like I am missing out. He will only be this little for such a little amount of time. Thoughts, tips, complaints???
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    About Desaroo

    Joined: Oct '18; Posts: 2; Likes: 1

    10 Comments

  3. by   Horseshoe
    All you can do is repeat to yourself that your education will allow you to give more to him. It also sets a good example for goal setting and a strong work ethic. Try to do as much of your studying as possible while he is asleep.

    This too shall pass.
  4. by   BagelBomber
    I have a ten year old son, work full time and I am in my first semester of nursing school...and the mom guilt is REALLLL! I have already missed soccer practices and games for clinicals and lab, but I'm lucky enough to have a lot of support from my family so he always has someone there. My son and I have talked a lot about how important it is to keep your eye on the prize- we both say "When G is done sixth grade; mom is done nursing school," and that helps us remember this is temporary. As sad as this sounds, I actually write down in my planner when I do things with my son so I can look back and see that nursing school hasn't taken my life over completely.
  5. by   AnnieNP
    When I was in nursing school my children were small and I always carried a picture of them in my pocket. When things were tough or I would start to feel the mom guilt I would look at the picture and it would remind me of why I was in school.
  6. by   JBMmom
    I started nursing school when my kids were 5,3 and 1, and I've been working two jobs or working and in school for the ten years since then. I'll always remember that I missed my son's first day of kindergarten because it was my first day of school, too. But does he remember? No. And one semester I would put them to bed on Sunday and not see them again until Wednesday. I remember my oldest crying every Sunday night and asking why I had to go to school. Does he remember it now? No, only I do. All I'm trying to say is that if you make the most of the time that you do have together, the kids rarely remember the things that were missed. Especially if there are other family members there to see the things you miss. So my mom guilt is really just sadness about the things on I missed out on, not because my kids feel like they missed me. You're doing what's best for your family, that's what they will come to understand. And for what it's worth, it's way easier missing the early years before school stuff and other activities come in, you're going at the perfect time! Good luck.
  7. by   SqrB3ar
    My mom was 20 with two kids (me and my brother) and unexpectedly widowed doing pre-reqs and then nursing school. All I remembered her doing was work and study. She worked two jobs and had school. She'd sleep on the couch for naps with her books out and sometimes snuck us at her job sometimes. She said she felt some guilt like you are experiencing, but she was a single mom and knew that it was temporary. She wanted to be able to provide a better life for us and not become a statistic. She is my inspiration!

    Maybe when you are away, do schedule some facetime/videochat with your boy. If he's up when you get home, dedicate some time with him though I'm sure you already do this with your family! Luckily you have weekends... Remember, it is temporary. Before you know it, this will be over and he'll appreciate later what you've done for him - him and your family.
  8. by   3hearts
    Aww mama! I can only imagine what you are going through. I am starting Nursing school in Feb 2019 and I have a 5, 3 and 17 month old just like JBMmom. I also need to find a job that will work with Nursing school, because our family needs the income. I've been a stay at home mom since the 5yr old was born, so this is going to be a huge change for all of us. We are doing the most amazing thing in securing a future for our family. Nursing is an incredible profession that can become so many different things along the way. It takes a special heart and soul to want to help people for a living, and someone said to me that being a nurse automatically punches your ticket to heaven My kids know that mommy has been doing prerequisites for 4 years and celebrated the email that I was selected for the program. As many have echoed... do you remember anything from when you were 2,3,4 or even 5? Just hold on to the image of your little one at graduation, smiling an clapping excitedly for mommy. Now go be your baby's superhero! We are all rooting for you!!!!
  9. by   3hearts
    Quote from JBMmom
    I started nursing school when my kids were 5,3 and 1, and I've been working two jobs or working and in school for the ten years since then. I'll always remember that I missed my son's first day of kindergarten because it was my first day of school, too. But does he remember? No. And one semester I would put them to bed on Sunday and not see them again until Wednesday. I remember my oldest crying every Sunday night and asking why I had to go to school. Does he remember it now? No, only I do. All I'm trying to say is that if you make the most of the time that you do have together, the kids rarely remember the things that were missed. Especially if there are other family members there to see the things you miss. So my mom guilt is really just sadness about the things on I missed out on, not because my kids feel like they missed me. You're doing what's best for your family, that's what they will come to understand. And for what it's worth, it's way easier missing the early years before school stuff and other activities come in, you're going at the perfect time! Good luck.
    So inspiring!!! my babies are the same age as yours and I start in Feb 2019. I hope and pray I can follow in your footsteps and be successful in the program while working. Thank you for sharing and motivating!! HEARTS!!
  10. by   JBMmom
    I wish you, and all other students trying to juggle it all, much success. My biggest advice would be to NOT listen to all the people with horror stories. If it's what needs to be done, you can do it. I was able to coach soccer, teach swim lessons and Sunday school and still work full time with school. (I had the great fortune to have a flexible job and awesome boss, but it was still 40 hours a week of work) And contrary to what many people said, I still spent quality time with my family and the few friends that I have. Learn to be as efficient as you can, be engaged in class and when you're studying- really study. No facebook, no texting, not chatting at Starbucks in a "study group", STUDY. Figure out what works best for you and stick with it. You can do this!
  11. by   3hearts
    Quote from JBMmom
    I wish you, and all other students trying to juggle it all, much success. My biggest advice would be to NOT listen to all the people with horror stories. If it's what needs to be done, you can do it. I was able to coach soccer, teach swim lessons and Sunday school and still work full time with school. (I had the great fortune to have a flexible job and awesome boss, but it was still 40 hours a week of work) And contrary to what many people said, I still spent quality time with my family and the few friends that I have. Learn to be as efficient as you can, be engaged in class and when you're studying- really study. No facebook, no texting, not chatting at Starbucks in a "study group", STUDY. Figure out what works best for you and stick with it. You can do this!
    THANK YOU!! You are an Angel and your words are so uplifting and reassuring. Congratulations to you on achieving your goals and realizing your dreams.

    When there is a will there is a way and as you stand before all of us, others before have done it and live to speak about it =)

    Wishing you all the best in everything you do!!
  12. by   heron
    I went back to work when my son was ten months old - never felt the least bit guilty. As a parent, my prime responsibility was to make sure his needs were met, including a roof over his head and food on the table, as well as the love, support and security kids need to grow up healthy.

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