Older Student, Unprofessional Nurse During Clinical - page 9
After many, many years (20!) of "thinking about it", I finally decided at age 45 to go back to school for nursing. My mom was a nurse for 50 years and even though I have two other bachelor's degrees,... Read More
Apr 15From: KS, US ; Joined: Apr '18; Posts: 2; Likes: 1I am in the same boat. I have almost all my prerequisites knocked out. I retired from the army after 25 years of service. I may not be a nurse either; however, when you go back to school as a non-traditional student you bring a sense of experience, professionalism, and maturity with you. I am also a student you and I have been successful at careers before going to a SON . I do not believe in arguments that do not solve anything. But during my last career I was also exposed to high levels of stress and I have also witnessed some horrible situations. Keep your head up and do what is right
Apr 16Joined: Jul '17; Posts: 49; Likes: 126Quote from Leader25A PRIVATE CONVERSATION at the nurses desk where visitors, families and other support staff were around? Want a private conversation, go to the nurses lounge and have at it.Do you think it was right to go to teacher and complain? You expect respect but you do not care about a private conversation between two adults,you say you get the venting part,do you really? You have not walked even a mile in their shoes,so please for everyone's sake walk away ,mind your patients and your business.
Apr 16Joined: Jul '17; Posts: 49; Likes: 126Quote from Ruby VeeWith all due respect RubyVee, 5 years ago I was on this forum attempting to gain information about going back to school in nursing. I asked a few feeler questions about the profession and was absolutely bashed by you as being naïve for thinking that nursing would be a good career to go into.And aren't you a special kind of . . . something. Introducing yourself with a first post entitled "Unprofessional Nurse During Clinical" is not a good debut on a forum for nurses. But perhaps you enjoy being miserable, hence the extremely negative first post.
You mocked my age, my interest and my heartfelt questions regarding whether I should go back or not. In fact, at that time you called me a Pollyanna. Now I'm miserable because I expect professionalism from nurses? Ok, then. It took me 5 more years to go back to school, in part, because of you and your negativity towards students. I remember thinking if this is how nurses are, count me out. I remember you from then. So you bashing me now? No worries. Been there, done that. And I've found out not all nurses thrive on smashing students souls to itty bitty bits. I changed my user name, but I remember who's advice I respect, and who's I do not. I get that some students come on here complaining about ridiculous things (from your post below). I Get it. I am not doing that. I also did not confront the nurse nor ever said that I would. I thought she should have taken her complaint to somewhere less PUBLIC. How that turned into me being 'negative' is beyond me.
As far as expecting professionalism from the people that I work with and thinking nurses are better than what I experienced, I make absolutely no apologies. Not one. I've asked nurses who are friends, instructors, ex nurses, nurse managers, CNA's...all about this situation and they were horrified to know that this happened at the nurses desk. I am so happy to know that at least in my neck of the woods it is unacceptable behavior. I will continue with professionalism, both at work and here on this board. I am doing GREAT in school despite your insistence that I would not, and I love every minute of my clinical experiences. I will not behave like that nurse at the nurses desk and I promise, when I AM a nurse, I will not spend my time on a message board attempting to bring others down. I DO keep my head down and I do my work....all of it...in a timely manner and I expect absolutely no concessions OR compassion from anyone. I expect that if I do my job well, that's what matters. I do believe in treating others how I'd like to be treated though. And I will continue to do that. I am sorry that you have been so jaded by students that you cannot see when someone is asking an honest question and do that also. I want no enemies here so let's just assume when I ask a question I don't want advice from you and I won't comment on your posts either.
Apr 18Joined: Aug '05; Posts: 38,991; Likes: 48,056Quote from JenbripsuI think in every profession there are chronic complainers. I also believe that there are people who chronically put others down to make themselves feel worthy.A PRIVATE CONVERSATION at the nurses desk where visitors, families and other support staff were around? Want a private conversation, go to the nurses lounge and have at it.
In all my years of being a nurse I found these people everywhere and in every department. As a young nurse I would just leave conversations that were participating in this kind of behavior. As teacher I made sure that the incoming nurses knew this kind of behaviour is NOT okay and encourage them to practice nursing their way. As a supervisor and manager I did not tolerate this type of unprofessionalism in the nurses.
However...to say that the nurses you heard are not good nurses just isn't true. It is difficult to explain to students that as they gain more experience they too may have days that seeking the comeradare of a co-worker is, at times, therapeutic. Nurses develop coping mechanisms to shield us from the cruel realities of the medical world and the seedier side of humanity. Sometime making something seem less "human" helps in dealing with the stark realities.
Try not to judge these nurses too harshly. While it might not be the best side of nursing it doesn't mean they are bad nurses. I encourage ALL questions/thoughts/criticisms of student nurses I feel that these should go to your professor/instructor and not to the management of the facility. It is increasingly more difficult to find clinical facilities and schools/programs/instructors/students are guests. I am glad you went to school. Comments from complete strangers really shouldn't define your career journey.
All the best.
Apr 19Joined: Jul '17; Posts: 49; Likes: 126Quote from Esme12I didn't say nor think that they were 'bad nurses'. Somehow in the ensuing 9 pages of comments my original post and subsequent replies have been lost in translation. All I've ever said is that I thought this behavior was completely inappropriate at the nurses station. People have taken issue with that I said it was unprofessional. I believe it was. Some have taken issue with that I thought the language was inappropriate. It was....for the nurses station. That's ALL I've ever been trying to say.However...to say that the nurses you heard are not good nurses just isn't true. It is difficult to explain to students that as they gain more experience they too may have days that seeking the comeradare of a co-worker is, at times, therapeutic. Nurses develop coping mechanisms to shield us from the cruel realities of the medical world and the seedier side of humanity. Sometime making something seem less "human" helps in dealing with the stark realities.
I appreciate your insight into the situation. I did go to my instructor just to discuss in post conference. I just wanted to clarify that I didn't call these nurses bad nurses. I said I don't want to be a nurse like them, but that's different. That's just saying that I won't engage in that type of behavior at the nurses desk. I've clearly said I expect to vent as well. I just hope I'll choose somewhere more private to do so. That is all I've been trying to say but with each comment my original thoughts seem to get lost.
Thank you -
Apr 23Joined: Sep '06; Posts: 67; Likes: 78Quote from ngiam12I agree 100%Oh dear, here we go again. Nursing isn't daisies and sunshine. I wish it were. Recently, a secretary I work with tried to go to HR because she didn't like that we were talking about calling DSS on a family... she said she felt like the patients were her own... because she sees their names on a computer program? Do everyone a favor and just don't participate in the conversation if you're uncomfortable. You're an adult, don't go reporting people, they will strongly dislike you. That's s good way to make everyone hate you as a new grad. I've been in the work force for 7 years and I figured that out years ago...
This is nursing school, not nursery school.
Apr 23Joined: Dec '17; Posts: 89; Likes: 211Quote from Double-HelixPeople say this all the time on this website, like it's actually a good point. People give responses that sometimes sound harsh, and I don't think there's necessarily a problem with that (especially if you're asking for opinions), but when someone tries to explain themselves to the accusations or suggestions proposed, how is it relevant that they get "defensive"? We all get defensive at times, especially when it's on the internet and it's all other-posters vs original-poster.Your responses come across as very defensive. You asked if this type of behavior is the norm. You asked if you were correct in reporting her to your clinical instructor or if you should have said something to the nurse directly. You alluded that you wouldn't have any friends at work if you refused to participate in negative conversations about patients. You asked for opinions from nurses here. I simply answered your questions and addressed your post- and agreed with you, actually.
And, TBH, OP's response to you didn't seem that defensive to me. It seemed like she was trying to fill us in more on the situation and give more insight to the reality of her own situation. Your response seemed way more defensive than OP's.
Apr 23Joined: Dec '17; Posts: 89; Likes: 211Quote from bjwojcikNo; the current "most popular" thread is at 136.Just curious, is 110 comments a record?
Apr 29Specialty: 5 year(s) of experience ; Joined: Dec '12; Posts: 579; Likes: 1,279Quote from JenbripsuYou're not going to get a true representation of the nursing world in a single thread. The title of the thread is likely to draw nurses who need to come to defence because....well most of us HAVE vented about our patients, and with good reason. However, not to the extent of what you heard this particular nurse say. I would say that is NOT the norm in nursing.I am definitely seeing from the responses that this IS the norm
What I'm trying to say is you can't extrapolate true data from a relatively small biased group.
I don't understand all the advice being given to you, because you are already doing what is being suggested. Keeping your head down, minding your business, and learning how NOT to act. I understand that you mentioned it to the teacher out of curiosity and advice and not from the perspective of reporting someone.
Apr 30Joined: Oct '13; Posts: 1,195; Likes: 3,326Quote from JenbripsuIt's a unit to unit type of thing. Some units are very toxic. Others are very professional.I am definitely seeing from the responses that this IS the norm and I have to say I'm disappointed. Apparently I was pretty naïve.
However, it won't change a thing for how I will behave. I'm not saying that I won't ever talk about a patient. I will say that I won't call a patient a ****** ***** because they are in pain and then make fun of their military service. And I won't talk about them when the family is 15 feet away. But other than that, I am certainly not saying I am better than anyone. I wanted to know if it was normal and apparently, the answer is yes. In 6 months in clinical experiences, this is the first time I heard a nurse talk like this, so I was surprised. That's all.
Sounds like this nurse was venting. Maybe inappropriately. Or maybe not.
I work in psych and there have been a few pts that I have cursed about. A few that brought me to tears in the bathroom. I think if a pt kicks you, spits on you, steals your keys, intentionally vomits on you, you get a free pass to call them a bad name at the nursing station as long as they can't hear it. (Yes, all of these have happened to me and more that I won't share.)Your coworkers should validate your feelings and sympathize with you and then go take care of the pt while you regain your composure.
Who knows what this particular RN was suffering when she said those things? As long as no one gets hurt its okay to let it loose sometimes.
May 4Joined: Jun '17; Posts: 76; Likes: 162The real issue is did the nurse treat this man and his family well? If so, while it may not be "nice" to talk about a patient like this, it is not the end of the world. A lot of people are difficult to care for. Sometimes a nurse just gets a bit over it all. It is prudent not to do this where family or admin will hear, but people do vent. If you don't like it when you are a nurse, don't do it and don't listen to it. Understand that a nurse caring for many demanding patients gets a little spent. Best of luck with your studies!