Is anyone else freaking out??

  1. I'm graduating next month, as I know a lot of other people here are as well, and I'm just wondering if anyone else is PANICKING or freaking out about it?! I have been in a slump for the longest time. I get panic attacks, I cry, and I DREAD my preceptorship days. I feel totally and completely inadequate and like I will not make it as a nurse. I am constantly second guessing and doubting myself... this is really crappy way to feel!!! Is this normal???

    I absolutely HATE my preceptorship. We have had 3 weeks (next week being the last) to do 80 hours. Due to family issues I only got 48 hours done in two weeks and now the next 3 days: Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, I will be doing 32 HOURS!! 32 hours in 3 days. I will be so dead. Not to mention I hate the experience, I hate the hospital and I don't really like the nurses either. Especially the one that I will have tomorrow for 12 hours. This competely ruined my weekend because I absolutely am dreading Monday. Of course, this leads to more panic that if I really hate this, THIS MUCH, how am I going to be a nurse????? 12 hour days KILL ME!!! Also, Thursday after I am done my 3 days of 32 hours I have a job interview at the one and only hospital I want to work at, at 10am. I hope I don't fall asleep on the poor woman's desk. Usually on the day after I put time in at the hospital I sleep ALL day. It exhausts me. I also have tons of schoolwork to do that I am behind on but I can't get my butt motivated. Because of this preceptorship all I have done is sleep and go to the hospital, come home and sleep some more, and go back. I'm just really freaking out about everything. School was such a comfort zone, it was so easy to hide behind the label of "student nurse", but now I will be the NURSE and I'll need to be able to do and know everything. I'm used to saying "I don't know, let me get the nurse" or "Hold on I'll go get your nurse"... now it will be like I AM THE NURSE!!!

    Is this just happening to me? Please reassure me, someone.
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    About shape0fmyheart

    Joined: Aug '03; Posts: 260; Likes: 12

    8 Comments

  3. by   Ami_J
    HEY! It will be okay!
    I graduated this past December and had many of the same feelings. (I hated the hospital I was at and my preceptor!) School is stressful! Finishing up the school year on top of freaking out about your upcoming boards and trying to find a job, it gets to be too much! But trust me it gets better.
    After graduation you will have a lag between when you are finished with school and when you can take the NCLEX. It's a weird time, and if you are like me it's confusing because you are no long a student, and not yet a nurse. Some of my classmates started their orientation at this time (good luck on your interview) but I sat around and waited . . . applying for jobs . . . and just doing nothing! Don't freak out about the NCLEX either, it won't help. Make sure you understand how the test is scored and be familiar with the questions.
    Finally when getting your first job, don't settle for the first thing that comes along, wait for something you REALLY want! For me it was pediatrics, and I had to wait 3 months after graduation before I got what I was looking for.
    I just started my new job this week! And for me, anyway, it is a little like school. I am with a preceptor and the first day I just watched trying to remember where everything is, the end of the week I had 2 patients, and this next week probably 3 and 4! And while it is a bit overwhelming, I am SHOCKED at what I know! And it is okay to say, "I don't know" I said it all this week to my patients and I expect to say it for weeks and probably months to come! I just say, "you know, I am not sure about that I am going to go ask one of the other nurses."

    I am going to suggest the book, "Your first year as a Nurse" if you haven't already read it. I found the book very helpful in describing the feelings I was having, and surprisingly you will find that most new nurses feel the same way!

    Good Luck!
  4. by   HappyNurse2005
    just started my new job this week! And for me, anyway, it is a little like school. I am with a preceptor and the first day I just watched trying to remember where everything is, the end of the week I had 2 patients, and this next week probably 3 and 4!
    yikes! what kind of unit is that, seems to be quite the quick orientation!

    Anyways, to the OP. The great thing about a job is you get to pick where you work, unlike your preceptorship. You can also switch units if you don't like the one you work on. Many opportunities! If you don't like 12 hour shifts, find a place that does 8 hour shifts. THough, if you liked your job, you might not mind doing the 12 hour shifts.
    You are certainly not alone!
    ((hugs)) from someone who is right there with you!
  5. by   RainDreamer
    Where are you doing your preceptorship? Is it the unit you're on that you hate? The area? Or just the hospital and nurses? What is it that you hate?

    You're definitely not the only one! I spent a lot of time crying last week, all because of my preceptorship. 12 hour days are LONG, and I wasn't used to it at all. I couldn't believe how slow it went some days, I felt like I had been there forever! I'm doing 32 hours this Mon, Tues, and Wed, too. Yep, it'll be a long 3 days. I do the 7pm-7am shift. So I come home at 7, go to bed, then wake up about 5, eat and then go back to the hospital. There isn't time for much else! But I like having the 4 days off. We'll be ok And just think, you only have 3 days left!! You're almost done After this week I still have to do 2 more weeks of 32 hours each. But it'll be ok. You'll be just fine, you'll make it through this. Just please know it's normal to feel like this, I freak out and cry because it's so overwhelming, but we'll be ok! Good luck on your interview on Thurs.!
  6. by   mysticalwaters1
    I've graduated 2003 and yeah I freaked and cried however keep going at it! I use to DREAD EVERY clinical! It was more nervous i'd mess up and wanted everything right and just nerve wracking. However when i did my internship it got a little better still freaked and doubted myself but which each new exerpeince and repetition got better. Now I don't dread going to work and it's dread that i don't want to mess anything up since it's people we deal with not objects or being a burger king or walmart employee as I was going through school. Just keep going! In fact my preceptor told me i'd eventually get to the point of being annoyed with issues and sticking up for things needed as i got the gist of things and boy was she right! It gets better and if you really hate it jump around and find something. I have been on med surg almost 2 years and at first was wonderful but now too many pts coming in and out in and out it's nuts plus we keep getting step down icu pts that i feel maybe should still be up there or at least a heart monitored floor plus are ratio went up from 1:6 to 1:7 and sometimes with only one tech on a 29 pt floor with 7 pts. So if that's how it's going to be it's too much so i'm goint to go at it another year then try ICU. I've allways been very detailed and can't do that with the med surg so maybe if i have less pts but have lots to do with them I may fair better plus you learn lots of new meds and equipment and i've been told it's actually easier in ways but you need to know your stuff and when an emergency happens you have to be quick. So sorry blabbing just hang in there! It's really tough but it's nice!
  7. by   mysticalwaters1
    Quote from mysticalwaters1
    I've graduated 2003 and yeah I freaked and cried however keep going at it! I use to DREAD EVERY clinical! It was more nervous i'd mess up and wanted everything right and just nerve wracking. However when i did my internship it got a little better still freaked and doubted myself but which each new exerpeince and repetition got better. Now I don't dread going to work and it's dread that i don't want to mess anything up since it's people we deal with not objects or being a burger king or walmart employee as I was going through school. Just keep going! In fact my preceptor told me i'd eventually get to the point of being annoyed with issues and sticking up for things needed as i got the gist of things and boy was she right! It gets better and if you really hate it jump around and find something. I have been on med surg almost 2 years and at first was wonderful but now too many pts coming in and out in and out it's nuts plus we keep getting step down icu pts that i feel maybe should still be up there or at least a heart monitored floor plus are ratio went up from 1:6 to 1:7 and sometimes with only one tech on a 29 pt floor with 7 pts. So if that's how it's going to be it's too much so i'm goint to go at it another year then try ICU. I've allways been very detailed and can't do that with the med surg so maybe if i have less pts but have lots to do with them I may fair better plus you learn lots of new meds and equipment and i've been told it's actually easier in ways but you need to know your stuff and when an emergency happens you have to be quick. So sorry blabbing just hang in there! It's really tough but it's nice!
    Oops when i said step down icu i meant going right from icu down to my med surg floor non monitored! I had an awful experience with this but don't think it happens that much and nothing could be done but don't want to scare anyone off too soon!
  8. by   shape0fmyheart
    Thanks for the replies everyone! To answer the question of why I hate my preceptorship, I am pretty sure it's the floor. When I talk to other nurses in the hospital about what floor I've been on I always get a general "blah" face and some kind of comment about how it's a hectic floor with nasty nurses. Hectic though? I feel like I did nothing. ... I am glad to see that I'm not the only one crying!!! Tomorrow is my LAST DAY though! :hatparty: I told my teacher how I really didn't like that floor so I've been moved to PACU. They just want me to shadow in there since I'm only there for 2 days, but the nurses are SO NICE and explain everything and I really just need to learn how to communicate better and that definately happens with parents in the PACU. Anyway, thanks again to all your responses and good luck to everyone!
  9. by   Jennerizer
    Get used to the anxiety...it doesn't go away simply because you graduate. I am a recent grad (December) & have been working in the step-down unit from ICU (PCU) for almost 3 months now. I have 4 days left with my preceptor & as much as I'm looking forward to being on my own - it is scary at times (like last night when I had to send 2 patients to ICU).

    As with everything, you get better (hopefully) with experience. Learn to manage the anxiety, because it will be around for quite awhile as a new grad. I saw my preceptor quite anxious when it came to my ICU patients & she's been a nurse for 15 years. I am not one that thrives on stress - I don't like the anxiety, but what keeps me grounded is that I love the challenge. I enjoy going in & seeing what patients I have for that night & meeting any difficulties that arise. I'm not always happy about the challenges & when they arise, but when all is said & done - it's a good feeling to know that I made it through.

    Rather than hating your preceptorship, try to find things that you like. Don't ever be afraid to ask questions...even if you don't have a friendly preceptor. Good luck on your finals & the nclex!!!

    Jen
    http://journals.aol.com/jennerizer/nurse
  10. by   AussieKylie
    I am hugely concerned when I graduate. I am also concerned about when its time for me to do interviews with hospitals and not succeeding and not getting preceptored. I am scared and worried and I too panic. I am currently on my placement and nearly finsihed and really want to stay rather than go back to Uni. I have been concerned that going through uni and learning different subjects and sometimes the way they are taught are laissez faire, so not much impact on my learning. I find it hard to remember medications by trade name and brand name. There is so much to remember and I am wondering everyday if nursing is the right choice that I made. It sometimes seems I know nothing that I have been taught at uni to prepare me for nursingworld. If it isnt I am thinking later on, I might consider social work, who knows.

    I have encountered a person who is in ICU as part of his grad program. He seems so confident, no worries, no problems, cool as ice. I am like Whaaaa. I dont know. It is kind of depressing. :stone

    I hope it gets better, scared of medication errors and so much more. Surely those of us who feel like this and have gone on as RN's must have felt this way too.

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