I was not close to anyone during nursing school.

  1. I am not sure why this bothers me but I was always told that I would establish close friendships during Nursing School and it just never happened for me. I did not enjoy study groups; I liked studying on my own. I was not part of any cliques nor was I involved with any drama. I attended Student Nurse Association meetings and events but I can not say that I became close with anyone. I had many acquaintances but I was not in school to "make friends." After failed attempts in other areas of academia prior to Nursing School, I was both serious and determined to do this. Perhaps I was a bit "standoffish"

    In a way, I believe that my lack of social involvement during Nursing School did attribute to much of my academic success but at the same time, I still felt like I was a loner and different from the rest. I felt like an outcast throughout Nursing School. I always would get good grades so it seemed that people only wanted to talk to me to ask what my secret was. In some ways, I felt looked up to and in other ways I felt used. I felt like everyone had someone during school but I stood all alone. What bothers me the most is that I did not get to make fun, lasting memories with any fellow students. It is the other students who understands what Nursing students go through the most and I did not get to experience the special bond of having a close Nursing School buddy. I realize that I still finished successfully and I am a working, practicing RN.

    Has anyone else ever experienced this feeling of regret?
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    About Biology2Nursing, ASN, RN

    Joined: Dec '17; Posts: 16; Likes: 8

    15 Comments

  3. by   SqrB3ar
    I'm currently a student and will say there is a huge group of students that are the loud bunch who go out drinking on weekends together. Our cohort had just been split up into 2 for peds, psych and OB and the majority of the more quiet and calm students I felt more at ease with are in the other half while me and four others are with the loud bunch.

    I too came to school not to make friends. I don't drink or think like they do. I am the youngest of our class and hang out more with the older students in their 30s - 50s. I don't close myself off from everyone though; I will be kind, courteous and work like a team because these students can very well be my coworkers later on. Sure I could try to go out to bars with them if I tried, but then I would be pretending/acting like someone I am not.

    I think what matters is that you've gotten your degree/license and made good acquaintances along the way. As long as you don't have any enemies.. I hope your feelings of regret will fade away. <3
  4. by   Wiggly Litchi
    I'm a current student and I haven't really made any friends since I've been here. Sure, I'm cordial to folks, but I haven't really met anyone I'd sit with at lunch etc. but I've always been a bit of a loner to be honest.

    I don't regret it - I like being able to study on my own. I like quiet and calm. I'm sure that some days it would be nice to have a small group of friends to chat with, but for now, there's me and my pile of textbooks

    I second what the previous poster says! What's important is that you get/got your degree, and didn't make a bunch of enemies!
  5. by   MiladyMalarkey
    Current student. I'm on a friendly basis (mainly just friendly acquaintances) with everyone in my classes and have 2 people I always sit next to in class. But, we never go out together, never do study groups, nothing beyond class and I'm certain we will not get any closer. We also are all parents, so that could be factor, we are busy with our personal lives and families. Like you I prefer to study alone.

    Perhaps other students were just intimidated by you? Not in a bad way, but you sound like you were a good student and if another student feels like they aren't as good as a student, they may have felt inferior to your knowledge, that you had it all together and they felt they didn't and thus kept their space. I could be way off base of course, but maybe that is what it was.

    I've a fairly serious and somewhat standoffish person in my class, I talk to this person anyway and we may crack a joke together here and there but it never goes beyond that because frankly I feel neither of us really are encouraging it to and we both seem okay with that.

    For what it is worth, I don't feel I have any real relationships nor will have any lasting ones in nursing school. But, I suppose I'm okay with that.

    By the way congrats on your accomplishment!
  6. by   Horseshoe
    Quote from Biology2Nursing


    I felt like an outcast throughout Nursing School.


    On the contrary, it sounds to me as though your isolation was mostly of your own making, not that you were an "outcast." But what is the point of focusing on regrets-after the fact-when you can't change anything?

    FWIW, I made "friends" in nursing school, but since we all went our separate ways after we graduated, those friendships were of short duration. And that's fine, because I never expected more than that, and I already had a healthy, satisfying friend network outside of class. The same could be said of my work relationships. "Friendly," yes, but I do not socialize with coworkers outside of work.

    I keep my private and professional life separate, and am quite happy with that arrangement.

    If you are looking for meaningful relationships, there is no time like the present. It's never too late to make satisfying connections.
    Last edit by Horseshoe on Oct 18
  7. by   SqrB3ar
    Quote from Horseshoe
    On the contrary, it sounds to me as though your isolation was mostly of your own making, not that you were an "outcast." But what is the point of focusing on regrets-after the fact-when you can't change anything?

    FWIW, I made "friends" in nursing school, but since we all went our separate ways after we graduated, those friendships were of short duration. And that's fine, because I never expected more than that, and I already had a healthy, satisfying friend network outside of class. The same could be said of my work relationships. "Friendly," yes, but I do not socialize with coworkers outside of work.

    I keep my private and professional life separate, and am quite happy with that arrangement.

    If you are looking for meaningful relationships, there is no time like the present. It's never too late to make satisfying connections.
    Exactly. I knew they were going to be short-lived. Course, you may see them around if you stay in the same area for years to come. For me, I'm a nomad at heart and don't intend on staying locally for many years so I can care less if I make "besties". All they do is gossip and start drama anyways. Not for me, thanks lol
  8. by   Biology2Nursing
    I did have long stable friendships already outside of school. My isolation probably was my fault to an extent. Nursing school was a lot of runaround between school, my job at the time ( I was working 36-40 hours a week during my first two courses) and clinicals. I was probably always rushed and had no time anyway. If I had a night lecture, I couldn't stay and hang because I had work at 7 AM next day at the busy Doctor's office I worked at. Many of the other students did not work. My last semester is when I became more involved with the student nurse association and my last semester is also when the Doctor's Office let me go from my Medical Assisting job. Maybe I was too preoccupied to establish closer friendships at that time.
  9. by   traumaRUs
    Nursing school is a finite part of your life. I went to NS as an adult with two small kids and a deployed husband. I made it to classes/clinicals but couldn't tell you anyone's name nor any instructor for that matter.

    In the end, my goal was graduation and licensure. I've also been back to school for three more degrees and again, not close to any fellow student. Still friends with some instructors but only because I worked with them as an RN.

    Life changes and moves fast nowadays. Cherish your friendships but don't lament something you can't change.

    Best wishes in your new career.
  10. by   pandabrit
    I'm in the exact same situation that you were in. I'm about 75% through nursing school, and I didn't really make any friends at all. There were a couple of girls who I'd feel comfortable enough to partner up with regularly for lab activities, but I'm pretty sure that I'm always going to be seen as an awkward loner amongst most of my classmates.

    There are times when I feel a bit of regret, but when I overhear the conversations of others around me, I'm grateful that I don't have to share any additional stresses with someone else. For instance, a classmate of mine was complaining to a friend about how too many of us had made it this far in nursing school, and how we'd surely be weeded out when it comes time for the final. Who needs the extra drama and negativity?

    I don't do study groups, and I'm also at the top of my class. I know I won't have any regrets, we're all here to get our degree and be prepared for the NCLEX!

    Good luck to you!
  11. by   Biology2Nursing
    Quote from pandabrit
    I'm in the exact same situation that you were in. I'm about 75% through nursing school, and I didn't really make any friends at all. There were a couple of girls who I'd feel comfortable enough to partner up with regularly for lab activities, but I'm pretty sure that I'm always going to be seen as an awkward loner amongst most of my classmates.

    There are times when I feel a bit of regret, but when I overhear the conversations of others around me, I'm grateful that I don't have to share any additional stresses with someone else. For instance, a classmate of mine was complaining to a friend about how too many of us had made it this far in nursing school, and how we'd surely be weeded out when it comes time for the final. Who needs the extra drama and negativity?

    I don't do study groups, and I'm also at the top of my class. I know I won't have any regrets, we're all here to get our degree and be prepared for the NCLEX!

    Good luck to you!
    thank you! Best of luck to you too! I was also too of my class and graduated with high honors.
  12. by   SuperMomBob88
    I came in as a LPN to RN bridge. I felt like an outcast from to beginning. We joined the cohort in the middle of the program. No introductions from the instructors or anything to prepare any group of the changes. I was a little older than most of the class and had littles at home. It was bizarre at times. Clinical was pretty breezy for me as I had been working in a rehab hospital, so med pass was not very challenging for me. However, the other students would always ask for help and I would gladly help them out. Then I would hear them bashing LPN's for their lack of knowledge or skills. My blood would boil...I have a couple people I have connections with from school but no real friendships. I tried but it makes sad at times. I don't really have any advice but I too was expecting some kind of awesome friendship.
  13. by   MelEpiRN
    Definitely experienced it. My husband had the stereotypical college experience- made best friends with a group of people whom many of them we still hang out with today (he graduated well over 10 years ago). Me? I speak to 2 people I went to college with, and that's really only because of facebook. I was even in a sorority and didn't keep in touch with any of them.
    It happens. I moved to a different region of the country and my lasting friendships actually came more from grad school. (I think I just had far more in common with my grad school colleagues).
    I somewhat regret it and feel like I missed out (compared to my husband) but honestly, I'm ok and I imagine you'll be ok too.
  14. by   emmjayy
    Quote from SuperMomBob88
    Then I would hear them bashing LPN's for their lack of knowledge or skills.
    What the heck! It blows my mind that an unlicensed student who is being hosted as a guest on a unit would ever make fun of an LPN or CNA. They have more to show by way of certification, skills, and experience than a nursing student. Dang. I'm sorry you had that experience.

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