How to explain how hard you have to work in nursing school - page 5

How can you convince your family, friends, significant others how much time and effort you have to spend to get through nursing school? How can you get them to give their support and make them... Read More

  1. by   jrfortis
    I am just getting to this stage... first semester student here and I am getting really frustrated with the fact that no one seems to understand how much work I am really putting in. How every waking moment I am doing something related to school or work. I haven't had a day off in over a month between work and school, I do my clinical paperwork pretty much as soon as I get done with clinical so it is one long day from 6 am to 10pm trying to get it all done and to study, I pretty much study whenever I am not helping a customer, eating, sleeping, in class or cleaning. My husband is still not what I would call really "stepping up" and keeps making dumb comments about I can do this when I have free time and do that like clean up dog poop... well I never have free time, so I guess it will never get done. Plus the most irritating think is when he says... you're always tired... well gee of course I am, you would be too if you worked a month straight... argh sorry this is just a vent but does it ever get better?
  2. by   guest10
    Maybe it will take some time for him to get it. And maybe you are so stressed right now that you cannot see that it is just barely starting to dawn on him. Perhaps you can show him some of these posts or get together with some of your classmates and their families to talk about it. And maybe he really does not know how much you desperately need him to help you achieve your goal. It is a gift that only he can give you.
  3. by   jrfortis
    I am afraid he will never really understand or never know how much I do need him or how hard I really do work.
  4. by   ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    Quote from jrfortis
    I am afraid he will never really understand or never know how much I do need him or how hard I really do work.

    If you are doing his laundry or things that benefit him, than stop. He can do it for himself and as long as you cater to him he will sit back and have the stuff done for him. If you are working and going to school than he can help too or at least fend for himself. Do that and see how long that goes on before he might be willing to change some things, if not, than well he will at least be fending for himself and it's one less thing for you to worry about.
  5. by   momtofore
    I've printed out two copies of this thread to share with my husband, sons and mother. My mom and siblings, though they love me and mean well, always dismiss the schoolwork I have to do as a pre-Nursing student (and part-time worker and still trying to be full-time housewife). My husband both understands the course load I'll be facing, but since I'm not a full-time student and not a full-time worker, more or less expects me to be responsible for everything at home. On some level he acknowledges that this isn't really possible. I am capable of perfect grades with the courses I am currently taking and I put the time in to get them. I LOVE learning, so other than the time inconvenience to the other aspects of my life, it is not a chore. However, I am very aware that this won't be possible once I am in nursing school and am prepared to do my best without losing my mind. But my family already says, 'You're so smart. You won't have a problem.' In fact, when they read this thread I'll bet their response will be 'But that won't happen to you.' UGH!!! I have been warning them that I won't have much play time outside of semester breaks. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised and that won't be the case. But I'm ready! I'm grateful for this thread and the 'print' function, lol, so I can let them hear what others have to say!

    To prepare my husband for the changes that will happen at home, I've already started the discussion about chore division that will start in the fall!
  6. by   milzer2012
    Don't you just hate this Phrase:

    'You're so smart. You won't have a problem.' assuming that
    THEY KNOW what our course load entails, and that Just because we are
    "so smart" we don't need to study!
    I know it is out of kindness and an effort to reassure us that they do this, but
    being the one taking the class, I think I would be the one to know when I am
    finished studying - not someone who wants my attention.
  7. by   Nepenthe Sea
    Quote from milzer2012
    Don't you just hate this Phrase:

    'You're so smart. You won't have a problem.' assuming that
    THEY KNOW what our course load entails, and that Just because we are
    "so smart" we don't need to study!
    I know it is out of kindness and an effort to reassure us that they do this, but
    being the one taking the class, I think I would be the one to know when I am
    finished studying - not someone who wants my attention.
    Yes, it's really irritating.
  8. by   AKA_Glamour_Pearl
    For me, it was when I told my mother that she could write my 20pg paper on my patient with COPD, Renal failure, CHF. She just looked at me. My boyfriend understood when I cried one day for no apparent reason. I just felt anxious about school. I still don't know what triggered all of the tears.
    For my mom and dad, it came when I called them to inform them that I had failed 2nd semester. Fortunately, I hadn't. Apparently I can't average my grades when I'm stressed. No matter how many times I tried, amidst the tears I kept calculating a 65% and my average was an 83%. Poor me.
    It seems like it didn't sink in until other people told my mom how difficult/stressful nursing school could be. It could have also been when she noticed that I wear lots of sweat pants and comfy clothes, w/o make-up and my hair is in a ponytail. A far cry from my "pretty girl" days.
    My boyfriend also watched me not attend functions that I would normally attend. He watched me hug my nursing book ALL night and when he'd get up, I'd still be hugging it. He watches me go to the library on Saturday and Sunday. He see's how my schedule gets changed at the last minute and I just have to roll with the punches.
    I think everyone understands now!
  9. by   Pneumothorax
    this thread makes me sad.
    i wish outsiders could understand us better.
    my bf doesnt understand at all... and im trying to find a way to put it in black & white for him so he gets it..
  10. by   Certifiable
    just send him the link to this thread...
  11. by   Sowhat105
    Honestly, they know how hard I worked based on the following...

    Chronic sleep deprivation, especially around exams, and clinical paperwork.

    Spending 15+ hours a week in class, with concepts, seminar, lecture, etc. Not including Skills Checkoffs practice in the practice lab. All of this makes me spend about 25 hours a week on campus just practicing.

    Mood swings, and chronic stress, endless rivers of coffee, empty bottles of 5 hour Energy laying around, missing special occasion so you can " catch up on sleep."

    Although I forgot to mention, my Mom is also a Nurse, so she tells every to f*** off and leave me alone.
    Don't try to explain, your actions will speak for itself.
  12. by   WillowNMe
    Quote from Grey Lady
    How can you convince your family, friends, significant others how much time and effort you have to spend to get through nursing school? How can you get them to give their support and make them understand why you can't always be available to them? What can you say? What can you show them? How can you convince them you are not just whining? Is there something your school could do or is doing to help?

    You don't

    I have lost a couple of really good friends through nursing school because they didn't understand why I suddenly dropped off the planet seemingly. It really hurt at first, but in the end I figured I'm friends with the ones I still have because they were supportive. It opened some doors for me, as well.. now I am applying out of state and seeing where that takes me. Sort of nice thinking of all the cool people I have met because of nursing, "more cool" to think of the people that I will meet.

    For me, people who are understanding its because I put it in perspective - I go to school full time, I work full time over nights, I have a horse to take care of, two kitties to feed, a house to keep clean and occasionally I like to eat. Which requires getting groceries. Forget cooking it, I better be able to nook it!
  13. by   elljayo
    i get pretty angry with my family when i can't ask them for support when i need it, when i've always been there for them. so we communicate about it. a lot. repeatedly. i have to be a broken record. i have to be very clear in what i need from them. for instance, i needed my stepdaughter to stop treating the house like a hotel and learn how to clean the bathroom and take that responsibility on one a week, along with doing the dishes and doing a load of towels once a week. when there is a snowstorm, she needs to come home from partying with her friends and help clear the snow off the walks around the house, since she gets the privilege of parking her car in a nicely plowed spot. and i needed my husband, who works a lot of overtime himself, to take more responsibility in following up on his daughter instead of letting me be the full-time parent, and to take more responsibility in preparing his own meals when i can't be around to fix dinner. i also resorted to things like having some groceries delivered to the house, and taking money out of the budget for other things to pay for it. they have been ****** off, tried to make me feel guilty, my husband has felt afraid he was losing me because i was "rejecting" him (by working two jobs and not making him the center of attention)....etc. etc... *sighs* i'm presenting their worst sides, really, but those are the problems in this situation. that, and me having taken on the role of being chief problem-solver and domestic servant. changing that dynamic causes a lot of discomfort all around but it DOES change over time if we stick to having good boundaries and in my opinion, really clear specific requests about our own needs and how to get them filled - not just saying "no" to theirs!

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