How to explain how hard you have to work in nursing school

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Nepenthe Sea

585 Posts

Specializes in PICU/Pedi.

It's almost impossible for people to know unless they have been there. I myself didn't know what it took to do nursing school until I did some serious research on this forum. My sister and I got into it recently, and she accused me of being a negligent mom. She said she KNOWS how hard nursing school is because she got her COMMUNICATIONS degree, so she's been there. :rolleyes: I majored in several different subjects years before NS and they are NOTHING like this. People just have no clue. My mom thought I exaggerated a lot at first, too. I live with her, though, and she has seen over the last few years that it's really a lot of work. My boyfriend's mom made me mad recently, too, because she insinuated that I was a slacker because I'm only taking 11 hours this semester (my last). I tried to explain that 3 nursing classes + 3 clinicals = a lot more work than her teaching degree probably required, but to no avail. Everybody just thinks we're lazy whiners. And we DO whine, but we usually have good reason!

Nepenthe Sea

585 Posts

Specializes in PICU/Pedi.
Even though I might seem crazy for complaining about a tropical vacation - when He schedules it in mid-semester I end up worrying the whole time, and studying on vacation. We were in Aruba, and and I got up early every morining to Study.

I would have been pi$%ed off if my boyfriend did something like that while I'm in school. I know a lot of my classmates do get out and go places during the semester, but I am not one of them. I can't be distracted during school.

Nepenthe Sea

585 Posts

Specializes in PICU/Pedi.
Our local school does a family orientation night. They bring in a 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th semester student, along with their husbands/significant others and children. The student speaks, as does the family members, about how their lives change/have been affected. Having the significant others and family there is a great touch because it allows a husband to speak to a husband in a group and one on one if necessary.

That is awesome. I am an officer in our student nurse association, and am going to talk to someone about doing the same thing at my school. I'll be done in May, but it will help the new students coming in. Thanks!

Nepenthe Sea

585 Posts

Specializes in PICU/Pedi.

Oh, and one thing to add... I have seen a lot of suggestions to show family members their schedules. That is a great idea. I think what helped my mom to see what I was up against was to show her, page by page, a full care plan that I had stayed up almost all night to write. I explained every bit to her, so she could see why I only got two hours of sleep that night. She's been more sympathetic ever since.

jrfortis

9 Posts

I am just getting to this stage... first semester student here and I am getting really frustrated with the fact that no one seems to understand how much work I am really putting in. How every waking moment I am doing something related to school or work. I haven't had a day off in over a month between work and school, I do my clinical paperwork pretty much as soon as I get done with clinical so it is one long day from 6 am to 10pm trying to get it all done and to study, I pretty much study whenever I am not helping a customer, eating, sleeping, in class or cleaning. My husband is still not what I would call really "stepping up" and keeps making dumb comments about I can do this when I have free time and do that like clean up dog poop... well I never have free time, so I guess it will never get done. Plus the most irritating think is when he says... you're always tired... well gee of course I am, you would be too if you worked a month straight... argh sorry this is just a vent but does it ever get better?

guest10

496 Posts

Maybe it will take some time for him to get it. And maybe you are so stressed right now that you cannot see that it is just barely starting to dawn on him. Perhaps you can show him some of these posts or get together with some of your classmates and their families to talk about it. And maybe he really does not know how much you desperately need him to help you achieve your goal. It is a gift that only he can give you.

jrfortis

9 Posts

I am afraid he will never really understand or never know how much I do need him or how hard I really do work.

Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
I am afraid he will never really understand or never know how much I do need him or how hard I really do work.

If you are doing his laundry or things that benefit him, than stop. He can do it for himself and as long as you cater to him he will sit back and have the stuff done for him. If you are working and going to school than he can help too or at least fend for himself. Do that and see how long that goes on before he might be willing to change some things, if not, than well he will at least be fending for himself and it's one less thing for you to worry about.

momtofore

353 Posts

I've printed out two copies of this thread to share with my husband, sons and mother. My mom and siblings, though they love me and mean well, always dismiss the schoolwork I have to do as a pre-Nursing student (and part-time worker and still trying to be full-time housewife). My husband both understands the course load I'll be facing, but since I'm not a full-time student and not a full-time worker, more or less expects me to be responsible for everything at home. On some level he acknowledges that this isn't really possible. I am capable of perfect grades with the courses I am currently taking and I put the time in to get them. I LOVE learning, so other than the time inconvenience to the other aspects of my life, it is not a chore. However, I am very aware that this won't be possible once I am in nursing school and am prepared to do my best without losing my mind. But my family already says, 'You're so smart. You won't have a problem.' In fact, when they read this thread I'll bet their response will be 'But that won't happen to you.' UGH!!! I have been warning them that I won't have much play time outside of semester breaks. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised and that won't be the case. But I'm ready! I'm grateful for this thread and the 'print' function, lol, so I can let them hear what others have to say!

To prepare my husband for the changes that will happen at home, I've already started the discussion about chore division that will start in the fall!

milzer2012

105 Posts

Specializes in Student.

Don't you just hate this Phrase:

'You're so smart. You won't have a problem.' assuming that

THEY KNOW what our course load entails, and that Just because we are

"so smart" we don't need to study!

I know it is out of kindness and an effort to reassure us that they do this, but

being the one taking the class, I think I would be the one to know when I am

finished studying - not someone who wants my attention.

Nepenthe Sea

585 Posts

Specializes in PICU/Pedi.
Don't you just hate this Phrase:

'You're so smart. You won't have a problem.' assuming that

THEY KNOW what our course load entails, and that Just because we are

"so smart" we don't need to study!

I know it is out of kindness and an effort to reassure us that they do this, but

being the one taking the class, I think I would be the one to know when I am

finished studying - not someone who wants my attention.

Yes, it's really irritating. :devil:

For me, it was when I told my mother that she could write my 20pg paper on my patient with COPD, Renal failure, CHF. She just looked at me. My boyfriend understood when I cried one day for no apparent reason. I just felt anxious about school. I still don't know what triggered all of the tears.

For my mom and dad, it came when I called them to inform them that I had failed 2nd semester. Fortunately, I hadn't. Apparently I can't average my grades when I'm stressed. No matter how many times I tried, amidst the tears I kept calculating a 65% and my average was an 83%. Poor me.

It seems like it didn't sink in until other people told my mom how difficult/stressful nursing school could be. It could have also been when she noticed that I wear lots of sweat pants and comfy clothes, w/o make-up and my hair is in a ponytail. A far cry from my "pretty girl" days.

My boyfriend also watched me not attend functions that I would normally attend. He watched me hug my nursing book ALL night and when he'd get up, I'd still be hugging it. He watches me go to the library on Saturday and Sunday. He see's how my schedule gets changed at the last minute and I just have to roll with the punches.

I think everyone understands now!

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