Fellow student problems

  1. HI
    I am just starting a RN diploma program. I am 42 and work at a LTC on the weekends as an aide.
    In my class is a 28 yr old woman that is a nanny, she does not like it when experienced students ask questions she does not understand. For example I asked since we have one patient and we get our bed baths done what do we do with the other 7 hours. She gave me the dirtiest look. She said I am so worried about giving my first bed bath that I would like someone who does not have any experience like me to help me. She does not like the elderly and she does not want to wipe adults backsides. She also said that her first bed bath will take a couple hours. Yesterday at orientation for clinicals after she did her assignment she just stood there. I was reading charts and going on the computer so when clinicals start for real next week I know where to go and what it looks like.
    What does she think? She makes me afraid to ask a little more advanced questions she is always making faces and whispering after I do ask a question.

    Thanks for listening.
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    About adamsmom

    Joined: Jun '04; Posts: 219; Likes: 15

    14 Comments

  3. by   suzy253
    There's at least one (if not more) in every class. Ignore her and her dirty looks & attitude and continue to ask your questions. You're paying for your education and have the right to get the most out of it as you can.
  4. by   Daytonite
    adamsmom. . .you are 41 years old. Are you going to let this person intimidate you like that? If she doesn't want your help with a bed bath, fine. Her choice, her loss. Ignore her face-making and whispering. You don't know that she's complimenting you or trashing you anyway. You are in nursing school for your career advancement, not hers. If she wants to act like a child, let her. Don't be dragged down to her level. Being a nurse demands that you develop some backbone and assertiveness. Think about all those charge nurses you've worked with. What do you think they would have to say about someone like her? Do you think they would let her dictate how they should act? I think not. People like this have self-esteem and other psychological needs. What they do is try to suck others into their webs of neediness. It is how they exert control in their environments. Don't fall for this. Being aware of what she is doing is the first step. Ignoring it and doing your own thing is the second.
  5. by   allthingsbright
    One of my classmates said at lunch the other day that she wished nursing school wasn't so much like high school. I just laughed!! Not everyone grows up...

    You should know from your work experiences that people like that are EVERYWHERE! Find someone nice to hang out with in your class and ignore her--oh, and avoid GOSSIP at all costs. You will do great in your class because of your experience. Be humble, ask you questions, do your best, and stay away from the drama!!!!!!!!
  6. by   Jules A
    Only 1? Count yourself lucky and just go about the business of getting the best education you can for yourself.

    I wanted to add that is what I loved about being an older student. I was totally immune from the petty high school stuff. I couldn't give a rip what they thought and it was liberating.
  7. by   MySimplePlan
    :yeahthat: I, too, am an 'older' student, and Jules has nailed it perfectly. I could give a rip about my rolling backpack, my thicker waist (Ok, so I care about THAT) and my 'readers'. I love the attitude I'm bringing to this table, rather than the one I had at 17, in NS, floundering about.

    But that wasn't your point. Here is my point, my mantra I will tell myself every time something gets to me: Do not let anyTHING or anyBODY stand in the way of your goal. If you stop for a minute and think about what that means in your own life, it will become very powerful for you. When Miss Miserable starts her rolly eyes, remember that she would be in the anyBODY category, and YOU are not going to let HER stand in the way of YOUR goal.

    If you find yourself really frustrated with her and are feeling very human one day, this phrase usually stops 'em dead in their tracks: "Have I done something to offend you?"

    Finally, she will find herself outside the loop, if not the program, eventually. Everyone there got into nursing knowing there will be some tasks that won't be as pleasant as others, and are still rarin' to go. She will soon find herself on the outside looking in - at you.

    PS....just to clarify, I love those younger kids in my group. I don't feel motherly to them, but I am just so admirable of their tenacity. They're smart, bright and kind. I feel fortunate that we're all this mixed group striving toward this common goal - together.
  8. by   Jules A
    [quote=MySimplePlan....just to clarify, I love those younger kids in my group. I don't feel motherly to them, but I am just so admirable of their tenacity. They're smart, bright and kind. I feel fortunate that we're all this mixed group striving toward this common goal - together.[/quote]

    Yes, I also admired most of the younger gals. They were amazing. I totally didn't have the maturity to stick with something so challenging when I was that young.
  9. by   shellsgogreen
    eek - negativity and pettiness annoys me - just like some of you have said, we too have it; i made a very large point of not getting involved in that - they wind up drowning themselves in the proverbial cup of water...:beercuphe

    adamsmom - maybe think of it this way the next time she or anyone starts up;
    you are allowing them to take away valuable time from your focus on nursing! whether that equals missing something important that was said in class, or even losing a point on a exam, don't let this be the nursing experience you signed up for....

    maybe try to turn it into a positive - observe how she reacts (but maybe not react yourself) as we learn from everybody

    hope your week goes well:icon_hug:
  10. by   Tweety
    Don't allow this person to rent space in your head and don't be afraid to ask questions even if it gets dirty looks from her. Her opinions of you are none of your business.

    Good luck.
  11. by   JaxiaKiley
    I don't understand why women feel the need to act like that. Before I started to take up nursing, I was in the computer field, and most of my co-workers were men. It was great because they (as a general rule) didn't really get into all the petty bickering and gossip.

    I hope that you find a way to ignore her. Don't let her ruin things for you because she is intimidated! Good luck!
  12. by   firstyearstudent
    It sounds to me like this student is just honestly expressing her own feelings of inadequacy, not necessarily trying to make you feel bad. Why don't you try sympathizing with her by paraphrasing what she might be feeling. You might be surprised at the response you get. Something like, "You're feeling overwhelmed, huh?" "Do you feel like those with some hospital experience have a jump on you?" "Are you scared to give a bedbath?" Etc.

    This will be good practice for you as a nurse. It sounds funny, but our whole class is always practicing "therapeutic communication" on each other. It really works and helps us keep a good group that is empathetic, not back biting.
    Last edit by firstyearstudent on Sep 2, '06
  13. by   WDWpixieRN
    And please don't flame me, but we have several students in our 1st semester class who work in hospitals or LTC facilities as aides...and there are 2 or 3 who are constantly chirping in with all the knowledge they already have while the teachers are trying to teach those of us who are clueless:
    Instructor: When you do "this" with your client, make sure you do "this" so that...
    Student w/Experience: Because if you don't that, "this" is what I've had happen...
    Instructor: Yessssssssss....
    Student w/o Experience: Mentally thinking: (?!?!? Can you please let the INSTRUCTOR finish her thoughts?!?!?!)

    My point is not that they do or do not add any relevant experience, it's that they seem to constantly be interrupting and letting the instructor and the rest of us know how much they know....I'm glad they have knowledge and experience and they're light-years ahead of some of us. But I paid a LOT of money for this education and I prefer during my brief 1 or 2-hour lecture or lab period to hear what my instructor has to say for the most part.

    I'm not saying that that's what you're doing, but perhaps a question about what YOU do with your extra 7 hours could wait until you have a little one-on-one time with the instructor. There are a LOT of us feeling rather intimidated right now....there have been a couple of newbies who have mentioned getting irritated with these folks....

    And I am middle-aged and not threatened by another's knowledge....I just want to know what my instructor wants me to know and want to learn how she wants me to learn to do things...and with only 2 weeks under my belt, that includes a TON of information right now!!

    :uhoh21:
  14. by   Jules A
    Quote from wdwpixie
    And I am middle-aged and not threatened by another's knowledge....I just want to know what my instructor wants me to know and want to learn how she wants me to learn to do things...and with only 2 weeks under my belt, that includes a TON of information right now!!
    :uhoh21:

    No flame of course but just a heads up. I wouldn't discount the "know it alls." The ones with CNA/GNA experience may be a valuable asset to you in practice lab and when clinical starts. The pointers they shared helped me stream line my activities in a huge way. They helped me learn practical transfer techniques and get my bed bath time down to under two hours, lol. Don't forget, classroom lab instruction only covers so much. There is a ton of hands on experience that you don't have and they do. The good news is that by the end of the second semester the learning curve should be even. Good luck.

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