Cliques in Nursing School

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I am an advanced placement student set to graduate in May of next year. I am always a very friendly person and have extended myself to try to talk to individuals in my school. It is my senior year now and I feel because I did not start with the class from the beginning , then tend to snub me. I have never realized that even in your Mid twenties girls would still act so immature and clique. I had made friends with a few people down here, but one acts totally ignorant for me, after I was unable to do a favor for her. I explained why I was not able to and apologized several times, but that did not seem to work. I am uncertain what to do, I feel as if so many cliques have existed in my life and I am a friendly personable person, and do not get why I do not fit into the cliques. I don't know I just felt the need to vent. I am a bit of a sensitive individual, so it is hard being so far away from my family and friends back home, only to be treated with little to no hospitality at all. I even feel that the teachers have preferences in their students, I am not being paranoid either. I know one of the professors even went out to the Bar for one of the students birthdays, it is totally obvious that the cliques exist. I only feel like people are nice to me if they need something, which is not right at all. Does anyone have any suggestions for me (nice ones only) as to how to overcome this obstacle. Thank you all :banghead:

Specializes in Psychiatry.

Rule #1 in nursing school- you are there for YOURSELF, not for others.

Who cares about cliques??? Honestly...

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Specializes in LTC.

I attend a very small college with a very small class. For the most part, a wonderful bunch of people that I would love to work beside. Then there is always the other hand.

It is a group of about five (male and female) students and they sit and talk, gossip and worst of all, cheat off each other. The instructor has to talk over them and then it is like we are in highschool again. She pauses and looks at them until they shut up. I don't get it but one of these days it will catch up with them.... (if I have anything to do with it):yeah:

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I used to knock cliques automatically, but some cliques are just made up of very good friends. You wouldn't describe them as "cliquish" because they can be pried apart on occasion and the members don't look at outsiders like they have three heads if they speak to them.

But I'm guessing you're dealing with the more infamous kind: the jackal pack

To be honest, I'm not sure such a girl is WORTH knowing, but here's what you do: forget people like her. Don't let another thought of them pass your mind. Examine what could possible be attractive about these people given how they've treated you. You don't owe them anything. Be courteous if you must interact but make up your mind beforehand that you will not be doing favors because these packs are predatory if you give out the "I want to please" vibe. People like that can sense it when you're wary and will let you be. You do sound like a nice, sensitive person as you said, but we all have to learn to say "Who cares?" occassionally when it comes to other peoples' thoughts about us.

Teacher going to student's birthday party while student is still student = unprofessional, tho.

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Why do you want to be friends with a bunch of 6th graders? School is for learning not socializing. It will be the same with work. You won't believe what people will let influence who they spend time with. I go through that at my current job. All LPNs including the supervisor. I don't drink so I don't get invited out with them. SO WHAT. I am also getting my RN and planning my advancement whilst they are a drinkin' all weekend. Am I REALLY the loser ? Look out for yourself and your future. Learn it now and save yourself the heartbreak later.

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Specializes in L & D, Med-Surge, Dialysis.

Don't give up on them!

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Well maybe I'm just snooty, but I always find that I'm never really in the "group" either. I guess because when they start disrespecting someone, big mouth here has to chime in and make them feel like they're the size of peas. I always say "Well, if I looked like you I would have to pick on others too to make me feel better."

Basically, if they're mean I would stick my nose in the air and not give them the time of day (I would also say smart things, but that sounds like that's not your personality). If they are just a really tight group of friends who are absent-mindedly leaving you out, I would just let it go and carry on about my business, but maintain a pleasant attitude with them.

:twocents: Melanie

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I also feel like an outsider. Cliques are bad here, too. I got in a little earlier than the classmates from my pre-req classes, everyone knows each other...but not me. And in my class it's people in their late 20s, 30s and beyond; cliques aren't just a young-people thing. Try to remember they're not bad people. They're just stressed out and sometimes a bit freaked out, so they cling to what they know.

I don't know what to tell you other than hang in there! You've got to keep putting yourself out there, even if only to try to get into study groups. It is lonely. But I tell myself I didn't enroll to make buddies, I enrolled to get an education and a career. I have plenty of time to make friends when I get my first job.

Good luck!

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I relied upon myself and pretty much kept to myself while in nursing school. I commuted from a very good distance away. Whenever we had group projects (and they increased in number as we approached the end), nobody, but nobody, but nobody, ever wanted to drive down to my place to do anything. I always had to drive to their place. Once I went as far in the opposite direction from the school as I lived in my direction. One time I went to a group meeting where absolutely nothing was accomplished. Not everyone showed up. Total waste. Then I had to drive home and go to work half an hour after that. No consideration whatsoever. Do you think the instructors intervened or made an effort to engage fairness? Of course not. They always said, "Work it out. This is group work." I know that I had a valid complaint. And I did not care to be snubbed, ignored, or only approached if the other person wanted something. So, as much as possible, I kept to myself. A clique of one. And for those who will be willing to accuse me of being the problem, that was definitely not the case. If it was, I would not have posted this. And I did tell my lead instructor what I thought of all this at the end of the program.

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cliques are pretty prominent in my program as well... its pretty ridiculous when you think about it... but truly, its just for a little while, then you will be done.. although I have also noticed its pretty pretty prominent in all the units ive been on too. Nursing is such a female dominated profession that I think cliques are bound to happen.. hang in there, you seem like a very nice person, and someone is bound to realize it soon.. good luck. :)

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