Classmates!

  1. I have never had such a hard time "socially" in my life. I feel like an outsider in my nursing class, no one talks to me in theory at all, but they all seem to know each other. My clinical group is a little better because its a smaller group but its even got little cliques in it.
    I think part of the problem is I live an hour away and no one sees any point in befriending me because they know they'll never see me outside of class. I try and talk to them but I end up feeling like they dont care about knowing me.

    So needless to say every day of class is like a day in junior high, just hoping you'll have some positive interaction.
    It really makes no sense to me because my non nursing friends love me and we have great friendships. Im not socially retarded by any means.

    Should I just not let it bother me? or ignore it? I want to have friends at school Im only human. But this whole situation is really making me hate school and think Im unlikable. Just needing to vent
  2. Visit FNPhopeful profile page

    About FNPhopeful

    Joined: Feb '05; Posts: 309; Likes: 10

    24 Comments

  3. by   Imafloat
    Don't worry too much about it, things will change as you get more into clinicals. During clinicals I got to know my classmates well. I am now really good friends with people I never imagined I would be friends with. We joke around that it is survivors syndrome.
  4. by   kukukajoo
    I was feeling like an outsider when I first started too. I missed several days due to illness and felt like everyone was staring at me when I did come back! Feeling this made it hard to approach people but I finally just dove in and got to know everyone a bit better. I don't think they changed- I think I jsut changed how I was looking at things and took the time to get to know them, rather than waiting for them to get to know me.

    Things have warmed up quite a bit, and yes clinicals have made that difference as well. We are in smaller groups at clinical and there seem to be more help needed and input/advice from classmates and everyone is definatey helpful- none of that backstabbing nightmarish stuff I had heard roumors about!

    Hope things improve for you too!
  5. by   locolorenzo22
    Clinical groups help you get to know more people as you go through.
    Class-wise, I just started talking to the women I sit next to during lecture, seminar, and I got a group of people I hang with from clinical that I first met when I was just at B&N studying! It just takes that chance to put yourself out there, and keep going. It has made it easier to have a few people to talk to, but you just keep plugging away best you can....
  6. by   GratefulHeart
    Quote from FNPhopeful
    I have never had such a hard time "socially" in my life. I feel like an outsider in my nursing class, no one talks to me in theory at all, but they all seem to know each other. My clinical group is a little better because its a smaller group but its even got little cliques in it.
    I think part of the problem is I live an hour away and no one sees any point in befriending me because they know they'll never see me outside of class. I try and talk to them but I end up feeling like they dont care about knowing me.

    So needless to say every day of class is like a day in junior high, just hoping you'll have some positive interaction.
    It really makes no sense to me because my non nursing friends love me and we have great friendships. Im not socially retarded by any means.

    Should I just not let it bother me? or ignore it? I want to have friends at school Im only human. But this whole situation is really making me hate school and think Im unlikable. Just needing to vent
    O dear. I hurt for you! Do most of your classmates know each other from prior classes? If so, they probably have no idea how you're feeling.

    No advice here. You're already doing what I'd do - try to be friendly and show interest in their lives. It just may take more time than you're used to, but thank goodness you have your non-nursing friends! --Because of them you're already rich indeed.

    [Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver, and the other's gold.]
  7. by   allthingsbright
    Quote from FNPhopeful
    I have never had such a hard time "socially" in my life. I feel like an outsider in my nursing class, no one talks to me in theory at all, but they all seem to know each other. My clinical group is a little better because its a smaller group but its even got little cliques in it.
    I think part of the problem is I live an hour away and no one sees any point in befriending me because they know they'll never see me outside of class. I try and talk to them but I end up feeling like they dont care about knowing me.

    So needless to say every day of class is like a day in junior high, just hoping you'll have some positive interaction.
    It really makes no sense to me because my non nursing friends love me and we have great friendships. Im not socially retarded by any means.

    Should I just not let it bother me? or ignore it? I want to have friends at school Im only human. But this whole situation is really making me hate school and think Im unlikable. Just needing to vent
    I have felt the same way...then of course there are the people who DO talk to you and they always seem to be the annoying ones who ask a million pointless questions, talk about innapropriate things during class, get crappy grades and complain loudly about everything, etc.

    I don't know if nursing school is the right place to find friends? Just keep being friendly, don't gossip, be professional and things WILL come around. Also, wear your deodorant! J/k!
  8. by   May_baby
    Are you in a graduate program?
    (For some reason that was my first thought)

    When I was working on my first graduate degree I felt incredibly lonely at first. Grad school is a lot of pressure and sometimes people limit their socialization severely. It may feel like everyone else has bonded and is going to happy hour, but most grad students are actually studying non-stop or hanging out with their long-term boyfriend/girlfriend.

    If you are not currently a graduate student:
    Being a commuter or an adult student definitely feels isolating.

    Find other adult students, and commuters. Talk to other students after lecture, in coffee shops, in the library. And its ok if you don't bond with a bunch of people. If you find a select few you can relate to and even lean on once in awhile you'll be much better off.
  9. by   WDWpixieRN
    We will be starting our 10th week of school next week...I notice folks are starting to get a bit more warmed up to others....it was kind of obvious who the people were who had taken prereqs and knew each other previously, but as time has gone on, everyone seems to be branching out a bit more...if you're particularly shy, it may take even more time....when classmates are grouped outside discussing a test you just took or practicums or whatever, sometimes if you just go stand near the group and maybe jump in when you have something to add, it will make you seem more approachable....that was something I had heard several times about myself when I was younger...people thought I was a snob, when in reality it was horrible shyness...

    The most important thing is to keep the goal in mind.....I'm happy to have some acquaintances at school, but am not concerned about making close friends at this point....between my family and previous friendships, I've got enough going on socially outside of the time I have to be with those folks at school!!

    Good luck!
  10. by   Jelli_Belli
    I have to say that the complete opposite is true for me. When I got my first degree and during pre-req's I kept mostly to my self in classes and only socialized with friends from work. Now that I am in the nursing program I have made so many new friends! Everyone in our class is so so wonderful and we all get along great. No cliques, no back-stabbing, no competativeness. I have found it so refreshing. Maybe it is because everyone is older and more mature at this point in their life but I've fallen in love with them all.
    In fact I'm getting married this Saturday and was kinda bummed b\c my fiance and I didn't have the money to go anywhere. Today during lab they gave me a card with $300 to use for a get-away. Aren't friends great.
    Hang in there girl. I promise it will get better. You guys will see so much of each other before you know it you'll be like a second family.
  11. by   Future_Nurse_Natalie
    One day you'll look back on this and say "why did i want them to talk to me?" LOL. You'll all wind up one big "happy" family. Promise!
  12. by   JessiekRN
    Hey.. I just started NS a month and a half ago and I felt so bad when I read your post, cause in that short a time I've seen a lot go on in my class... I guess when you have 70 or so (mostly) girls in what often feels like a grade competition, things can get ugly- gossiping, rumors, backstabbing.. I think (or hope) a lot of it is just cause most of us are scared and stressed out and just trying to survive and make it through in one piece. I feel bad for you because I don't think it's possible to survive nursing school without the support of those going through what you're going through. Maybe you could organize a study group? I know you live far.. but by getting active in the class people will be drawn to you.. if you have the time to take on a leadership role- like fundraisers for the class, or organizing events for the class within the community (breast cancer walks, etc.) . I don't know if this helps you.. but realize your talents and then see how you can put them to use... and if all else fails. .well then.. scr** 'em.. who needs catty people in their life anyhow? Focus on your grades.. and your goals.. and one day you will be better off than them anyhow. Hope this helps.. good luck
  13. by   Alexsys
    I felt that way at first too. Some of the other students in my class were so catty! It got a little better after clincials. By the time graduation came around, all bygones were bygones.
  14. by   NaomieRN
    I do know some people in theory from A&P and I study with them. But in clinical, there are clicks and I sometimes feel like an outsider. It does not botter because I am there to take care of the patients not to look for friends. I walk in the room and just say hello and wait to get my assignment. I am glad no one bothers me, that way I can focus on taking good care of my patients, which I have been doing.

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