I hope I can post this here, I can't get into the break room...
I am having the worst time!
My warped body image issues have gotten so bad that I can't even shop for clothes anymore. I think NOTHING looks good on me, like I look like a joke in everything! I take about 50 things into the dressing room and leave 50 things inside the dressing room when I leave. I have no freaking clue how clothes are supposed to fit me because I have lived in rags/tents for the last year and a half. I look like complete hell.....my clothes, my hair, my no-makeup face. The only thing I DON'T think I look absolutely ridiculous in is either workout clothes (which I feel fat in anyway) or my birthday suit! Yes, I actually feel better about myself totally naked!!! Some would think that was great, I suppose, but I need to wear clothes!!
This is becoming a real issue with me, because now I would like to look nicer, take more effort in my appearance, but I feel like I don't know how to do it anymore, like I am hopeless.
I think I need Stacey and Clinton to come barging into my house from "What Not To Wear". How do I get help for this so I can get me some new clothes and ACTUALLY WEAR them?? The few times I have talked myself into buying something I thought I looked ridiculous in in the dressing room, I have brought it home and it never was worn a second time. I keep reaching for the same stained T-shirts and the same five pairs of cotton shorts that I have owned for 10 years.
To make it worse, I just came back from "Interview" clothes shopping and want to curl into the fetal position and cry. I am short, thick, and have big boobs. Seems IMPOSSIBLE to find a nice pantsuit to fit and look right. Fitting issues aside, I don't even KNOW how these things are supposed to look!!! I would take my sister with me but that scares me too cuz she hasn't been employed in a decade!!!
Where do you guys get your fashion advice/know how if you are not innately creative?? I don't know how to put an outfit together to save my soul. That is why I can't shop in places like TJ Maxx cuz you have to "do it all yourself". I like the mall, with the manequin completely dressed. I say, "I'll take THAT". And then it cost a million cazillion dollars.
Someone help!!! How do you buy clothes if you feel stupid in EVERYTHING!! Not just fat, but frumpy or thick or not petite enough or legs too squatty..there is always something!!!
Can anyone relate???
Sep 15, '05
Buying clothes to fit a larger bustline is very difficult. I too often end up with clothes that are too big at the shoulder just to accomodate my chest.
Since you need interview clothes, I reccommend a pant suit. But buy seperates. (I always need one size larger in my slacks than I do in my jackets). I have learned through trial and error and far too much time reading fashion magazines that it is possible to find clothes that flatter. It does take a lot of trying on, though.
Refuse to buy something that you do not feel good in. If it does not flatter, you will not wear it, no matter how good of a bargain. It is worth it to pay a little more for one good suit, and then wear it with different tops and as seperates, than to buy two cheap ones that do not flatter you. One good suit will last you for years as well.
Buy the jacket to fit your shoulders. Trust me on this one. You can wear a jacket unbuttoned to accomodate your bust, but a too big jacket that hangs off of the shoulders will just look sloppy. Choose a jacket in a good neutral color like black, navy, charcoal or chocolate, just make sure it's a color that flatters your skintone. Avoid a trendy color, you want this investment to last. You might consider a very fine pin-stripe in the jacket to lengthen your torso, but avoid large or wide stripes and all plaids. Avoid stiff fabrics-look for a lightweight wool or high quality synthetic fiber (or wool blend) in crepe, lightweight twill or gabardine. (Good salespeople will know these fabrics) The jacket should nip in at the waist. Look for seaming details on the front and back like darts or princess seams that will help create a narrow waist. Do not buy a boxy jacket, and avoid double breasted styles or ones with any kind of applique, emboridery, or big flashy buttons. Think Jacki O, not Crystal from Dynasty (am I showing my age?). Do not buy a jacket that is too long on your body. It should cover your bottom when you look at it from the back, but should not hang much longer than that. The sleeves should hit just below your wrist, but not down onto your hands. Get it hemmed if it's too long. Your bust should match up with the bust area of the jacket. Wear it unbuttoned if necessary to accommodate your bust-sometimes I wear a three button jacket with only the middle button done, it still nips in my waist but gives my bust and hips the room they need.
Wear your jacket over over a colored shirt or blouse. Avoid button front shirts and blouses, they will gape at the bust. A nice solid v-neck is the most flattering and will elongate your look and draw attention to your face, just make sure that it is not too low-cut to maintain your professional appearance. Avoid fussy details and stiff fabrics which will accentuate your bust. Make sure the blouse or shirt is fitted and has seaming details like darts too. It will lay under the jacket better, reduce bulk, and fit you better when worn alone. Another option is a nice top (v-neck of course), in a fine guage (not bulky!) knit. Select a color that you love to wear for your interview top. There are just certain colors that make your look your best, and this will boost your confidence. Avoid tucking in the top if you can help it. If the hemline falls to an inch or so below the waist but does not extend past the hem of the jacket, you can wear it untucked. (Tucking the top into the waistband and/or adding a belt is okay while you are wearing the jacket, though I avoid the belt to decrease bulk at my waist. If you take off the jacket, however, that tucked in shirt makes a horizontal line right at the waistline that will cut you in half).
For the pants, do not buy narrow or tapered legs. These will emphasize the fuller places on your body. Look for a pant with a straight or slightly flared leg. (very hip). They are much more flattering, and create a nice line that visually lengthens your leg. Choose a solid color pant to match the jacket, again avoid stiff and bulky fabrics. Avoid pleated pants. They will make your stomach more prominent. Choose a pant with a flat front for a clean, less bulky look. I would avoid a skirt, since the hemline placement can be tricky, and it adds another horizontal line. However, if you do buy one, make sure it is a solid, dark color to match the jacket, with an A-line, made of fabric that is not bulky or stiff, and that the hemline is right below your kneecap.
A heel will add height, but avoid a super high heel. Try for something around 1 1/2" to 2" max for a professional setting. Choose a dark shoe that has a pointed toe, it will add more visual length and look classier than a chunky or rounded toe with your suit. The hem of the pants should come down to the bottom of your heel in back (not the shoe's heel, but the heel of your foot) and should break over the front of your foot. The pants should not be so long that the front of your shoes do not show, nor should they be so short that all of the top of your foot is exposed.
Your handbag does not have to match your shoes, but should be complimentary, dark in color, and simple.
Choose simple accessories. Less is best.
Hope you find a suit that makes you feel like a million bucks and that you will feel confident and sure of yourself when you interview!
Last edit by missninaRN on Sep 15, '05