You know you've been a nurse for too long when..........

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in Emergency, Haematology/Oncology.

My first thought last night when I got my patient's blood all over my scrubs was, bugger, I am going to have to do my laundry tonight now, instead of tomorrow. No consideration of how awful it looked, or that I should really change, just having to do my laundry at midnight.

We had an inservice about patients who are ejected from motor vehicles and the educator showed a particularly horrific ejection video. I was saying to the person sitting next to me, "is that limp bizkit?", the music in the video was familiar. The educator says to me later, "I show something like that and your mind is immediately at what music is playing"?. Um, yeah.

My neighbours' daughter came over unannounced with her boyfriend the other (friday) night, she is 19, tearful and anxious and telling me about her belly pain and some urinary/lady partsl symptoms. I ask her, in front of her boyfriend (with her permission) whether she showers or goes to the toilet straight after sex, about her menstrual cycles, what pill she is on, when was her last smear, any smelly discharge and so on. I tell her on numerous occasions that I am NOT a doctor, which doesn't seem to sink in. Ultimately, 2 hours later after mum has arrived and basic vital signs have been taken, belly palpated, over the counter painkillers and urinary alkalisers administered, she decides to go to the doctor tomorrow and not go to the ED. Incidentally, suspected UTI confirmed the next day by GP. I remember saying to her, you have to ask yourself, is this an emergency?. The whole time she was here I was thinking, I just want to finish painting my bloody loungeroom and clean up! Is that wrong?

I often think about how my thought patterns and attitudes about things have changed over the years, my responses to situations. The funny thing is, I am particularly sensitive and emotional, I'm a crier. Maybe now I just know that I have seen enough to know that I will never see it all. What are your stories?.

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When you can discuss anything, absolutely anything, while eating your lunch.

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Specializes in Trauma, Critical Care.

I haven't been a nurse too long, but I have noticed that I have to censor myself when talking to friends and family especially regarding health issues. I take for granted that I automatically know what to do in a lot of situations and that they have no clue.

My roommate, for example, thinks she needs to go to the ER for muscle strains and green poop. I have to hide my "are you kidding me?" attitude and just perhaps talk her through it.

I have to remind other friends that I am not god nor a doctor and there's no way for me to know if they are pregnant or have serious health problems unless they get tested.

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.
When you can discuss anything, absolutely anything, while eating your lunch.

Having a pt actively vomiting blood, dropping an NG tube, then "flush til clear".....and then going to eat a big bowl of vegetable beef soup. Yum!

Or spilling a bedpan full of lower gi bleed into your shoes, looking down and muttering I wanted new shoes anyways.

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Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

(posted this before, but....)

You go on vacation with your mum, get to Italy, look at Michelangelo's David, and all you can think is "that is one heck of a lot of edema in his feet and I could put a 14 in that hand vein without a tournequet".

the feet are oversized to balance the statue, and the hands oversized to show power

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SCOS....(spit coffee on screen) you are too funny!!

"I show a movie like that and all you can think of is what music they are playing"

"No, we were in lively debate over the ramifications of Limp Bizkit versus Justin Beiber and the incidences of teenage ejection from severe vehicular trauma scenes....."

I have had patients, as they are pooping, peeing, bleeding or throwing up on me "OMGGGGG this is sooooooo gross" and I say "nope, I have seen grosser....." LOLOLOL

Thanks for the chuckle this a.m., and now off to find the screen wash......

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Specializes in LTC and School Health.

When you come home and your fiance states " Guess, what happens to me today, my tires exploided while driving on the highway today"

I state" um, okay, atleast you're okay though" Whats for dinner?

( I truly do love and care about him, but there was no obvious sign of distress, he was able to pull over safely However, he did expect a more dramatic response... not happening)

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I call it the curse of the nurse.

When you can give Harris flush enemas...

to your father.

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Specializes in Transplant & HPB Surgery, Heme/Onc, LTC.

I had the opportunity to view an autopsy and the pathologist let me stand right next to her and be hands on. It was like being in the coolest A&P class ever. My hubby called an hour later to find out how it went.Him: What are you doing now?Me: Eating lunch.Him: What are you eating?Me: Chicken parmesan.Him: You've changed...

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Hello.

Well, I cannot say that I am a nurse, just yet.. In fact, I am still a high school student, fresh out of Health Sciences class.

I hoped to share a moment of spending a week with two nurses. (I am a HOSA member who had made her way to the National Competition which was held in Orlando.) I was with my very encouraging and excellent Health Sciences teacher (RN-BSN) and the mother of a fellow student (LPN). With it being Orlando, we were on the bus heading to the convention center (front seats). I looked over to the two nurses and said:

-"I like how nurses get to see all the blood-and everything." (at the spur of the moment, it wasn't very well said, haha.)

-The LPN held up her fist, and turned it in a swivel motion: "Well, wait until you get a patient with a decubitus ulcer that you can fit your fist into."

-With furrowed eyebrows, the bus driver looked at us through the rear-view mirror: "Um-I'm going to change the subject now."

And here is a section that could maybe become- You know you're a nurse candidate when...

-When I watch 'Monsters Inside Me' I crave spaghetti.

-One time, on my laptop, I came upon a video of a surgical procedure where a cyst was being removed from around a woman's uterus.. My cousin sits down next to me, just happens to glance over, and then says: "What...is that?" ... "The bursting and removal of an inflated cyst." .. "How are you watching that while eating...?.. I can't even look."

-I was showing my friends my Health Sciences book.. We came across a chemical burn that had left the man's leg almost unreognizable: skin nonexistant; fat, muscle, and bone in a almost liquid mingle.

"Oh my god." .. "What happened?"

Me: "Chemical burn.. It's kind of pretty.. like art."

Hope you enjoyed. ^w^

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Specializes in Emergency, Haematology/Oncology.
SCOS....(spit coffee on screen) you are too funny!!

"I show a movie like that and all you can think of is what music they are playing"

"No, we were in lively debate over the ramifications of Limp Bizkit versus Justin Beiber and the incidences of teenage ejection from severe vehicular trauma scenes....."

I have had patients, as they are pooping, peeing, bleeding or throwing up on me "OMGGGGG this is sooooooo gross" and I say "nope, I have seen grosser....." LOLOLOL

Thanks for the chuckle this a.m., and now off to find the screen wash......

Fortunately the song wasn't "rollin" (it was a rollover ejection), did I just take it too far? Probably, but limp bizkit was an appropriate choice I thought.

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So true

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