Why are nurses disrespected so much?

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi all! I just started our clinical this week as a new nursing student and there is something that's been bothering me and I just can't seem to come to terms with it... why are nurses so disrespected? I've seen nurses treat other nurses like dog crap and the pts treat them like slaves essentially-- ungrateful, degrading, etc. I'm shocked that this is the way the heirarchy is structured... Dr's are gods, nurses are peasants. We've worked way too hard in school and beyond to be subjected to this treatment. I guess this is also my phlegmatic personality coming thru... but wow!! Nurses are literally like Mean Girls. Sometimes I wonder, how did I end up choosing this profession again? It sickens me the way HCP are supposed to nurture and support their PTs yet they can't even treat their own coworkers like human beings... I guess I have "thin skin" but yikes this is not the kind of work environment I want to be in! Why can't we all show compassion towards each other? I'm a very kind person and I feel like I'm going to get spat on in the nursing world... rant over.

Lil Nel said:
I think you may be confusing a defensive position, with bullying.

The OP stated HER impression. She was nearly immediately met with negative comments, many of which I felt were personal attacks.

Most people, when attacked on a personal level, not just in a generalized way, will respond defensively. I feel that is how the OP responded, and I don't blame her.

The comments accusing OP of "disrespecting" all nurses is laughable. Anyone can read what she wrote and see she is talking about her personal experience at this one facility. Talk about "thin skin."

As I have stated before, I never felt disrespected by her comment. Never.

On the other hand, I have felt the callous and nasty comments made regarding her future as a nurse and calling her a "snowflake" are indeed bullying.

On this Web Site, when fellow new nurses, or students seek out advice, I try my best to be supportive. But many on this site do the opposite. Sorry, but it is true.

I have NEVER referred to a poster as a "snowflake" and I never will. It isn't useful or helpful. But of course, that isn't the intent of such comments, is it?

Being a nursing student or new nurse is a precarious position to be in. As a student, you are looking for potential employers and perhaps mentors. As a new nurse, you are trying to find how you fit into the unit culture. It just isn't easy.

Let's try to be helpful.

Just because you didn't feel disrespected by her comments, doesn't mean that anyone who did is wrong or weak or defensive. Stating or implying otherwise is pretty close to trying to dictate other peoples feelings and reactions.

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ItsThatJenGirl said:
Just because you didn't feel disrespected by her comments, doesn't mean that anyone who did is wrong or weak or defensive. Stating or implying otherwise is pretty close to trying to dictate other peoples feelings and reactions.

I was doing no such thing. My defensive remark was regarding the OP, not her critics. Please re-read. And I never implied her critics were wrong or weak. Never even used the weak in any of my posts.

But some accused the OP of disrespecting all nurses. Weren't they trying to dictate others feelings and reactions? I was merely pointing out that I am a nurse, and I wasn't disrespected.

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Lil Nel said:
I was doing no such thing. My defensive remark was regarding the OP, not her critics. Please re-read. And I never implied her critics were wrong or weak. Never even used the weak in any of my posts.

But some accused the OP of disrespecting all nurses. Weren't they trying to dictate others feelings and reactions? I was merely pointing out that I am a nurse, and I wasn't disrespected.

You were "laughing" because people were "acting all kinds of hurt" over her post. So sorry for apparently misinterpreting your position.

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Seriously, ever heard of eating your young? Give the poor kid a break about the user name. Are we really SO insecure that a student that is working towards being a nurse is such a threat? They are very concerned about the way that patients treat nurses. This is a very valid concern and one we should address and help them to find their way toward resolving. Making the user name the issue is a coup out. Avoiding an issue that all "nurses"- experienced, newbie or student need to unite to address. This is part of the problem. We let levels of experience and ego get in the way of a united front that makes us all stronger. Support this individual and offer up your own experience, don't be threatened by someone that is seeing things with fresh eyes.

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
Tammi123 said:
Seriously, ever heard of eating your young? Give the poor kid a break about the user name. Are we really SO insecure that a student that is working towards being a nurse is such a threat? They are very concerned about the way that patients treat nurses. This is a very valid concern and one we should address and help them to find their way toward resolving. Making the user name the issue is a coup out. Avoiding an issue that all "nurses"- experienced, newbie or student need to unite to address. This is part of the problem. We let levels of experience and ego get in the way of a united front that makes us all stronger. Support this individual and offer up your own experience, don't be threatened by someone that is seeing things with fresh eyes.

It is illegal and against terms of service to misrepresent oneself as a nurse.

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I believe that being in the profession for 27 years the answer is simple. We are a female dominated profession. Women do not stick together and do not work towards solidarity in a belief. Nurses will only fight for something when it effects them instead of fighting before it effects you. Only nurses supply their uniforms. Pay for parking and won't get PTSD coverage. Teachers fire fighters and police are all respected and spoken of often as saviours never nurses, it's our job. Police and firefighters are given awards for saving lives most of the time we aren't even recognized the Dr gets it all. Stand tall be strong. Don't let other nurses bring you down they are the weak ones and bully to feel competent. Nurses will treat you with respect gravitate towards them, they offer you the most in knowledge. Nursing is great I would do it again in a heartbeat. I just wish we could stand together and be a stronger force. And pts are able to bully nurses because the institutions we work for tolerate it and accept it because only then would they not want to lose a pt for sticking up rightfully for the nurse. Good luck you will be great recognizing that so early. Change it if you can.

1 Votes
Specializes in ED.

I work in a city centre ED so a lot of our clientele suffer from drug and alcohol addiction. You can imagine that verbal and occasional physical assault is part of that territory. However for the most part I find negative experiences from patients towards staff generally have a reason (pain, long waits, no sleep, noisy packed environment, feeling their needs are not met due to us being short staffed, psych issues and substance abuse)

you learn to deal with these encounters in a polite and positive way and you will feel better off for it.

you're too new in the game to feel so negative, let yourself be open minded, be positive, smile even when you're not feeling it, be enthusiastic and keep your head down while concentrating on your studies. Trust me that will carry you through to being a qualified nurse with a much better view of a fantastic profession.

As for my relationship with nursing and medical colleagues I find you get what you give. I love my nursing colleagues and we keep each other going. You will make life long friends over the course of your nursing career and some of them will be doctors.

When you are a qualified nurse you will then be in a position to not accept grief from an occasional doctor who may climb up on their high horse.

Until then, heed my above advice and enjoy being a student with it all ahead of you.

Just realised how how long this post is, sorry.

1 Votes
Specializes in ED.

I work in a city centre ED so a lot of our clientele suffer from drug and alcohol addiction. You can imagine that verbal and occasional physical assault is part of that territory. However for the most part I find negative experiences from patients towards staff generally have a reason (pain, long waits, no sleep, noisy packed environment, feeling their needs are not met due to us being short staffed, psych issues and substance abuse)

you learn to deal with these encounters in a polite and positive way and you will feel better off for it.

you're too new in the game to feel so negative, let yourself be open minded, be positive, smile even when you're not feeling it, be enthusiastic and keep your head down while concentrating on your studies. Trust me that will carry you through to being a qualified nurse with a much better view of a fantastic profession.

As for my relationship with nursing and medical colleagues I find you get what you give. I love my nursing colleagues and we keep each other going. You will make life long friends over the course of your nursing career and some of them will be doctors.

When you are a qualified nurse you will then be in a position to not accept grief from an occasional doctor who may climb up on their high horse.

Until then, heed my above advice and enjoy being a student with it all ahead of you.

Just realised how how long this post is, sorry.

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The bottom line is Doctors are at the top of the food chain because they ALWAYS back each other up. That is why it is so hard to successfully sue for malpractice - because Doctors stick together, they demand high pay as a group and they (except under extreme conditions) won't ever contradict each other.

Nurses, however, will always tear each other down, throw each other under the bus and won't stand strong as a group to negotiate better pay and conditions. If nurses supported each other and demanded the pay they deserve- or go on strike - we would all benefit.

1 Votes
Specializes in IMCU, Oncology.

I really feel people are treated based on they way they treat others. My experience is yes, there is the occasional person who is a jerk no matter what but in general if you treat others kindly and with respect they often will respond in kind. I have worked at the bedside and saw nurses complain and generally have a bad attitude so their patients respond in a similar way. If you respond respectfully and kindly they are often the same way back.

I now work outpatient oncology and deal with many patients. When I talk to my patients I do it respectfully and value them as a person, and 99% of the time they respond the same. I have had angry and condescending phone messages left by patients but when I call them back and treat them respectfully their tune changes and they often apologize about their message.

Change your perspective and look at the world differently and you will find others around you do the same.

1 Votes

Bedside nurses are frequently stressed out at work. Too much to do, too many phone calls to handle, and too many split second decisions to be made. Do we get snappish? Absolutely. Is it right? No. We're human. We feel overworked and at times abused.

Once I know my teammates well, I'll usually respond in humor. Not in the "truth in jest" style of humor, but something that can/will bring a moment of levity into what could otherwise be a very stressful 12 hour day. I tend to run around my unit singing the Mahna-ma-nah song or It's a Brautiful Day in the Neighborhood. I don't feel like my day is complete until at least one person complains about getting an ear worm stuck in their head. I'm the class clown of my unit, and I take that role seriously.

Ask your instructors for a few key phrases to learn. Try saying something like "You seem to be stressed. What can I do to help you?" That's a huge thing by the way. Offering to help is a great way to deescalate hostility.

As a previous poster has already quoted, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Be self-confident. If you can't be self-confident, fake it till you make it. (But don't ever lie about your skills or abilities.) Be friendly, even when the other person doesn't really deserve your friendliness.

I've only been a nurse for 6 years, so I remember well what it feels like to be a student. You think you're under stress in school - we all did. Just keep in mind that in a few years you'll wish for the good old days of nursing school. Try to take as much off of your clinical nurses as you can. Offer to take vitals, give baths, toilet patients; don't let any job be beneath you. A helpful attitude will go a long way in derailing NETY.

One other thing to remember - every job, unit, or hospital that you go to, you will find that you have to prove yourself all over again. It's probably unique to healthcare, but nobody cares what your previous skills or accolades may have been. They have to know they can trust you with their unit, their patients, and even their reputations. Learn not to resent that; it isn't personal. We all go through it when we start a new job, unit, or clinical assignment.

Sure you will find nurses throughout your career who are catty. Those people are in every walk of life. Don't make the mistake of painting with too broad a brush. Most "mean" nurses are not truly mean. Always use your critical thinking skills and consider that there very well could be factors that you aren't aware of taking place.

You'll be ok. Just hang in there. *smile*

1 Votes
Specializes in ICU; Telephone Triage Nurse.
fitfabfunnurse2b said:
There's no RN after my name, I can't change my username now!

Actually, you can. Go in to DASHBOARD in your account. I think you can change it every 90 days. Totally off topic, but it's easier than you think. If you wanted to, that is.

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