What's wrong with kids today? (and I'm not even that old)

[Florence NightinFAIL]

I'm in my mid twenties and I'm just shocked at how kids my age are acting. It's not just one or two experiences that have made me - but several, here are the ones that stand out:

• 21 year old who left AMA in the middle of the night because I would not let her boyfriend sleep over in a 4-bed room. She claimed that she needed him to sleep or she would 'freak out'.
  
• 24 year old who would whine and cry and writhe on the bed while her family was there and act ok when they left. She liked having them coddle her and hover over her in concern.
  
• 18 year old who wept so much upon admission that I thought something was wrong. When I questioned her - she was crying because this was her first time in the hospital and she was 'scared'. She came in with abd pain NYD - current pain 3/10, walking independently, absoultely fine, no horrific injuries or crazy stuff that would warrant a freak-out.
  

I don't know. What's going on? Why are these supposed adults so immature? Maybe it is how I was raised, but I would be embarassed to cry in public if I was not in great physical or emotional pain. I would not dream of insisting people to sleep over just so that I would 'calm down' and 'sleep better'. I would not endanger my health just because my boyfriend could not sleep over. WTH????!!!

[2011nursetobe]

I have no real desire to bring a child into this world because of the quality of kids/parents and society nowadays. It scares me half to death thinking about trying to raise a child with the correct values. I know most of it is the parent's fault, but kids nowadays EXPECT their parents to take care of them while they go party it up or sit on the couch. I would rather not even deal with that stress in my life. I don't have to worry about my parrot going out and getting prego or lying to me or getting into drugs. He respects me, loves me, and appreciates me. I will stick with him...even if he is forever like a 3 year old child! LOL

[Otessa, BSN, RN]

Does it have anything to do with "only mommy can make it better" attitudes instead of some self-soothing like humming or having a nice blanky.

Helicopter parenting where an 18 year old has no idea what or how to pack their own suitcase much less make any of their own decisions in other areas (btw,my gradeschooler packed their own camp bag-I just checked it over to make sure all was good before I took them there)

[Otessa, BSN, RN]

I don't think you necessaily have to move out. I'm part of a culture that children live with parents until they get married. So I can afford to move out - but I'm still at home.

However....I was cooking, cleaning, and taking care of my siblings since I was 15 - and it was not asked but expected as part of being in the family that you contribute to it. Same for my siblings when they reached around 15 - male or female. When I graduated from nursing - I was expected to contribute to the family financially. I pay some of the bills, for my siblings school fees etc. I don't resent it - I plan on raising my family the same way.

I guess it's about how much responsibility you are willing to give your kids. I have friends who got married in their mid twenties that don't know how to cook or do laundry - really? We have gotten so far as a society that a machine does the work that used to take hours - and you don't know how to turn a simple switch?

Amen!!

My mom said that if I was or wasn't going to college and was living at home I would need to clean, buy groceries, and assist with other areas around the house and pay rent if I wasn't going to college.

responsibility needs to be learned.

my grade schoolers have a list of chores-setting table, assist with making meals, assist with washing clothes (folding, putting away, etc.), washing dishes, cleaning, yard work. I had thought I would hire a housekeeper and a sometimes a gardener but decided that these were lessons my children needed to succeed in life down the road.

[Rob72, ASN, RN]

Indeed, kids aren't the same anymore - there's additional pressures facing them, living in much more divided households, fear of violence (verbal and physical) in school/internet and even rape by other kids. . .

Brittanic suppression of the Celts; the Irish Potato Famine; Pol Pot, Rwanda, Zaiere, Ethopia; Armenia and Azerbaijhan. I will differ with you on that, the "social pressures" have only changed in the First World in that we do not have to face the reality of them. Children and people in general have been uprooted, seperated, starved, raped and killed since humans discovered the pleasures of serving "I". Now, we have counsellors to tell us that we don't have to go on and function, but can live in perpetual victimhood. But, I'm considered harsh, occasionally...

I fully agree with you, however, in that we know things are unlikely to improve until the appointed time.

[tntrn, ASN, RN]

My son started doing his own laundry at age 7. At the time it was my 11 1/2 year old daughter's job to do the laundry for the 3 of us. But she caught him putting clean clothes into the dirty laundry basket and that was that. He is 34 now.

In addition, my children started making their own school lunches as soon as they started school. When they ran the peanut butter jar dry, they had to put it on the shopping list.

They are both very self-sufficient adults.

[scg08rn]

The hospital is scary for all age groups, and the environment where you usually sleep in is not where you are at that time, I can understand. I'm in my almost mid-20s and have been hospitalized in my late teens and I felt like I was all out of routine in a scary place.

We are getting a lot of 18 - 25 years old with overdosing or attempted overdosing. I had a patient that was 22, grandmother at his side FEEDING him soup, rubbing his back, he was in for cocaine withdrawal. I guess every family situation is different, but I know if I touched drugs or got hospitalized for anything to deal with drugs, my grandmother wouldn't be feeding me soup or rubbing my back, I'd get "the" lecture until the cows came home.

[PAROPPY, BSN, RN]

We as a population are living longer so you decide: do you want to be a kid longer or a geriatric longer? I would much rather be a kid longer.

We as a population live off our parents, live off welfare, and live off social security. No one is truly independent at all stages of life.

[xstarsfallingx]

I think it is a combination of two things: sick role, and the fact that at that age, we finally start to really comprehend mortality.

Even adults, to a certain extent, regress in the hospital or when sick. Even at home, most people want someone to make them soup, bring them medication, and comfort them.

I work in peds and without fail, the teens and young adults are more difficult to work with sometimes than the school age and younger. This is especially true when they are admitted with something like vague abdominal pain with no obvious source. Pain control is actually far more difficult in teens and adults to me than in children....kids will eventually accept it, stop fearing it, and focus only on making it go away. Older kids and adults can make the connection between pain and possible injury. They fear it getting worse, they think of all the things that could be happening....then they get anxious, get needy, and sit on their call light all night long.

Even at 14 and 15 most teens still think they are invincible. They understand things more and therefore manipulate in the hospital setting more than a smaller child, but they dont quite freak out like young adults since they cannot critically think the same way. My most difficult pain patients to date have been a 29 year old and a 40 year old, who came to us as overflow...

Parents contribute too. As they get caught up in the dramatic conversations of how horrible it is to be in the hospital, and "oh my gosh, what if something really bad happens?" they begin to coddle again. They start to baby their child/ young adult because that is how they fixed things when they were younger.

Just my .02

[butterfly134]

i think it is a combination of two things: sick role, and the fact that at that age, we finally start to really comprehend mortality.

even adults, to a certain extent, regress in the hospital or when sick. even at home, most people want someone to make them soup, bring them medication, and comfort them.

i work in peds and without fail, the teens and young adults are more difficult to work with sometimes than the school age and younger. this is especially true when they are admitted with something like vague abdominal pain with no obvious source. pain control is actually far more difficult in teens and adults to me than in children....kids will eventually accept it, stop fearing it, and focus only on making it go away. older kids and adults can make the connection between pain and possible injury. they fear it getting worse, they think of all the things that could be happening....then they get anxious, get needy, and sit on their call light all night long.

even at 14 and 15 most teens still think they are invincible. they understand things more and therefore manipulate in the hospital setting more than a smaller child, but they dont quite freak out like young adults since they cannot critically think the same way. my most difficult pain patients to date have been a 29 year old and a 40 year old, who came to us as overflow...

parents contribute too. as they get caught up in the dramatic conversations of how horrible it is to be in the hospital, and "oh my gosh, what if something really bad happens?" they begin to coddle again. they start to baby their child/ young adult because that is how they fixed things when they were younger.

just my .02

outside the hospital setting and when an 18 to lets say 22 year old is not sick, they should be as independent as possible. they should act as maturely as possible. however when they are sick or have might have to go for an operation it is natural to be scared! i would be scared and i would want my mom to give me a hug and tell me everything would be okay. i thought this would be normal. its a fear of the unknown when you've never been in hospital before. i really believe that if an 18 year old is in hospital and she cried and her mom gave her a hug or held her hand because she is scared, i wouldn't say she is being childish or imature. only a year or two ago she was seen as a child and probably treated like one. even though by law you become an adult overnight on your 18th birthday, you don't become and adult overnight emotionally. i agree with the answer above that says parents start to coddle again but its almost instinctive and normal. i don't mean to sound harsh at all but i'm just putting myself in the 18 year olds shoes.

[lrobinson5]

I work labor and delivery and many of these immature 18,19,20,and21 year olds are having kids of their own. They are the worst patients to take care of. Very whiney, don't want to feel anything and extremely demanding and spoiled. Also taking full advantage of Medicaid. These are the people raising the future generation!!!! Heaven help us!

With the epidural rate as high as it is, there are many women, regardless of age, that "don't want to feel anything".

[MN-Nurse, ASN, RN]

I can understand why the 18 year old was crying and upset. Probably WERE scared, at 18/19 and even 20 you are still very young.

Same age (and older) as the kids who stormed the beaches at Normandy.

Talk about having a reason to cry.

[butterfly134]

Same age (and older) as the kids who stormed the beaches at Normandy.

Talk about having a reason to cry.

yes but anyone can say that. A young woman cries because she can't afford to pay her rent this month due to no fault of her own.....then one can say, you don't have a reason to cry because at least you can afford food and aren't in the famine times. Im not saying that other kids don't have harder times or have bigger problems, but I still understand why an 18 year old in hospital for the first time and is scared would cry. Its an emotion and some peoples natural reaction is to cry.