What's the reason for a RN to be snippy to a new post op pt. ? - page 10

OK. I don't want to fluff any feathers. I'm simply trying to get an opinion to experienced nurses and try to see this from the nurses point of view. I'm a nursing student so my POV is still very... Read More

  1. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from momofqc
    well, i would expect a nurse to do that if there are unruly and belligerent people running around. i'm glad you know the difference between the situations!
    and it's unfortunate that you don't get the similarities between situations. you just don't get it.
  2. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from momofqc
    maybe this makes some think twice about how their attitude would get optimal results and cooperation from pt's and families. there's more than one way to enforce policy and rules. and of course, how could pt's and families and yes even nursing students know what the job of an rn entail? does an rn know what the job of a np entail completely? of course not. you can't expect people to understand it because they don't live it. it would be totally unfair to expect anyone other than another nurse to understand.
    yet here you are, on a board for nurses, preaching about how your poor mother was abused by some mean (and probably old, fat and ugly) nurse. you aren't interested in anyone's input. we get it. you and your family were angels, that nurse was totally out of line. but it seems as if you're not getting anything anyone is trying to tell you. nursing school must be very difficult for you.
  3. by   momofqc
    Quote from catshowlady
    OP: I am not going to beat around the bush here. Your posts are condescending and judgmental. Your only experience as a nurse is as a nursing student in a "perfect NCLEX hospital". In that perfect world, we would not be hungry, tired, overworked, overstressed, or even need to pee. We would be able to be endlessly chipper, and each of us would have only one patient to care for and all of the chairs and other equipment in the world at our disposal. We wouldn't need orders from doctors to get whatever meds our patients need, and we surely wouldn't have to wait on pharmacy to bring said meds up right away. And in an ideal world, the nurse would never be out-of-sorts.

    Unfortunately, that is not what the real world is like. Hospitals are not perfect, and nurses especially are not perfect. We are human beings just like everyone else. We can't endlessly be the perfect nurse. Nursing is so much more than just smiley, happy, have-it-your-way customer service.

    I can assure you that almost every one of us keeps trying to be that nurse, despite all the difficulties that are put in our way. Your statements that anyone who is not perfect is jaded or should find another profession are judgmental. They are also uneducated in the sense that they are not based on experience and understanding of what it is actually like to work in this profession. That is why you have been told repeatedly to come back after you have had a year or two of experience working in the field.

    I'm not saying nurses should just go around being snippy. Compassionate care should be the goal of every nurse. But what I am saying is, we are human, and we have our limits. If our limits our exceeded, we might just have a very human reaction of being snippy.

    You asked for our point of view, and we have given it to you. No, in theory the nurse should never have been snippy. But something, whether your/your family's actions, understaffing, the patient coding/dying four rooms down, or something in her personal life, exceeded her ability to provide compassionate care. It happens. It happened to you. Don't take it personally. It might have had nothing to do with you. Either do something to change it, like talking the the nurse's manager, or quit wasting time and energy worrying about it and move on with your life.



    No my only experience is not in an NCLEX perfect situation thank you very much. I didn't come across condescending until I got that first. But I understand nurses wanting to justify/defend their own kind...it's human. I have limits too and yes they have been reached before....you all don't know me and I don't know you. There's no reason to think I don't know what it's like to have to work hard with tons of demands...I do. There's no reason to think that I couldn't possibly fathom what it's like to work 15 hrs, pump breastmilk every 2 hrs, have issues at home with hubby and babies, go home only to be called in 30 mins later and be there for another 24 hrs....been there done that and yes lives depended on me. Just because it wasn't as a "RN" doesn't mean it wasn't important and trying. Because I'm a nursing student does not mean that nurses have to talk down to me. (and no, not everyone on here did) I responded to posts that were on both sides and went through and gave kudos to everyone whether I agreed with them or not.

    I know how to communicate and in my job...I definitely know how to communicate with the people that are above me.
  4. by   momofqc
    Quote from ruby vee
    "snippy" is in the eye of the beholder. and all we've gotten is one take on the situation, by someone who is rapidly losing any credibility here!

    when pt's are approached that way it's sad to say but nurses lose their credibility as well.
  5. by   RedhairedNurse
    Quote from Virgo_RN
    No. I am most certainly NOT in "customer service". I am a healthcare professional. I do not care what bill of goods the hospitals are trying to sell. My job is to keep my patients safe, to protect them from harm, and to help them to recover from the acute phase of illness and transition to the next level of care. I am not a waitress.

    You just described customer service. You are there to protect them, you are providing your
    patients, sometimes refered to as clients, SAFE & PROTECTED......you are providing
    them with a service as their professional nurse which means the same thing to me.
    Just be respectful, that is the point I'm trying to make.
  6. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from momofqc
    amen!!!!

    i couldn't say all of this because i'm not a nurse yet but i do know this is how it all goes down. families are an integral part of great pt. care! the families matter too and go through a lot to help the pt. it's not easy or fun or even always comfortable, but necessary in today's society!


    thank you for this post...maybe some of the sharks will get off my back
    you're not a nurse (yet) and you just don't get it. you don't know "this is how it all goes down." you don't know anything.

    as for the "sharks" getting off your back -- you asked for opinions. if you don't like the opinions you solicited, that's your issue.
  7. by   cherrybreeze
    Quote from It'sMe, RN, BBA, MBA
    LOL! Again pinksugar, it is a matter of perspective. When I worked ICU, we would measure urine in a medicine cup to get the accurate ouput. On the floor, you just want to know if they went to the bathroom, much less how many cc's they put out. Go work on a med/surg floor for a 12 week cycle, you might find it is an entirely differently world than the one you are use to working. I find myself everyday saying "when I was an ICU nurse I would never dream of letting someone else do ...." My, my, my, how that attitude changes when you have 24 hours of work to do in 12 hours. Just two weeks ago I got yelled at by the wound care nurse because my patient in 54 did not have the pictures of her wounds taken and on the chart within the 48 hour time limit of her admission, even though this was day 4 of her admission! And it was my fault! So stop what you are doing, and got take down the 48 inch sacral dressing and take the photos, print them and mount them and put them in the chart. Now would I have let the family hold the patient over and the PCT take those pics? You betcha! The blood that needed to be started in 51 was much more important than taking those pics.

    Again, it is all a matter of perspective. But I understand where you are coming from. I would like to do it all myself as well.
    I respectfully disagree. I've worked on a med/surg floor for 8 years. Just because it's not an ICU doesn't mean that "oh the patient voided" is good enough, not by far. The majority of our surgeons write "STRICT I&O" and they mean it. If the numbers aren't there on the graphic, they raise hell. I need to be the one (or my CNA) getting them up and watching what they drink, because YES, I do need to know how much it was in both cases. It really chaps my arse when I find out later they've had three cans of soda that I didn't know about, that someone brought them, because it throws off my numbers and I DO have to answer for that.

    Yes, it IS nice when there is family that can help them with basic cares, but it's not as easy as having every patient have someone there, and all the care gets done. Not by a LONG shot. I couldn't imagine starting a day the way you described, and basically demanding their family come in and do all of those things for them. That's ridiculous. Yes, my patient load has grown over the years as expectations change, but I still do all of the things for my patients that I used to do . It's MY job. EXPECTING family to do the walks, baths, bathroom trips, and for pete's sake I&O is both irresponsible and unreasonable.
  8. by   momofqc
    Quote from ruby vee
    yet here you are, on a board for nurses, preaching about how your poor mother was abused by some mean (and probably old, fat and ugly) nurse. you aren't interested in anyone's input. we get it. you and your family were angels, that nurse was totally out of line. but it seems as if you're not getting anything anyone is trying to tell you. nursing school must be very difficult for you.

    i'm not preaching and never said my mother was abused and the nurse was mean. (and she was short, average wt., and fairly pretty) if my family was out of line i'd be the first one to tell them! my point was that if a pt or family is fairly easy to deal with there should be no reason to be snippy to them....it's their family member in the hospital and we're there to do a job. the best for the pt and family is to communicate with them with a sense of compassion in order to achieve optimal results and cooperation from the pt as well as the family. not a bad idea to communicate with coworkers this way to achieve the same results. thanks for assuming i have a learning disability....very mature. fyi...i have a 3.7 gpa and am raising 2 children by myself. i'm doing just fine.
  9. by   caliotter3
    Yes, it was unprofessional and not compassionate. The nurse did not deal with the pain issue appropriately. I am a little surprised that she acted this way with a patient and the patien't's family. I hope it was because of fatigue or some other plausible reason, including burnout, and not the nurse's usual behavior.
  10. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from catshowlady
    op: i am not going to beat around the bush here. your posts are condescending and judgmental. your only experience as a nurse is as a nursing student in a "perfect nclex hospital". in that perfect world, we would not be hungry, tired, overworked, overstressed, or even need to pee. we would be able to be endlessly chipper, and each of us would have only one patient to care for and all of the chairs and other equipment in the world at our disposal. we wouldn't need orders from doctors to get whatever meds our patients need, and we surely wouldn't have to wait on pharmacy to bring said meds up right away. and in an ideal world, the nurse would never be out-of-sorts.

    unfortunately, that is not what the real world is like. hospitals are not perfect, and nurses especially are not perfect. we are human beings just like everyone else. we can't endlessly be the perfect nurse. nursing is so much more than just smiley, happy, have-it-your-way customer service.

    i can assure you that almost every one of us keeps trying to be that nurse, despite all the difficulties that are put in our way. your statements that anyone who is not perfect is jaded or should find another profession are judgmental. they are also uneducated in the sense that they are not based on experience and understanding of what it is actually like to work in this profession. that is why you have been told repeatedly to come back after you have had a year or two of experience working in the field.

    i'm not saying nurses should just go around being snippy. compassionate care should be the goal of every nurse. but what i am saying is, we are human, and we have our limits. if our limits our exceeded, we might just have a very human reaction of being snippy.

    you asked for our point of view, and we have given it to you. no, in theory the nurse should never have been snippy. but something, whether your/your family's actions, understaffing, the patient coding/dying four rooms down, or something in her personal life, exceeded her ability to provide compassionate care. it happens. it happened to you. don't take it personally. it might have had nothing to do with you. either do something to change it, like talking the the nurse's manager, or quit wasting time and energy worrying about it and move on with your life.

    after reading pages and pages of this thread with multiple posts from the op justifying her position and judgeing everyone else's, i'm beginning to see a reason why someone might have been "snippy" to a patient. her mother, anyway.

    perhaps "quiet" and "undemanding", like "snippy" is in the eye of the beholder.
  11. by   cherrybreeze
    Quote from ruby vee
    you're not a nurse (yet) and you just don't get it. you don't know "this is how it all goes down." you don't know anything.

    as for the "sharks" getting off your back -- you asked for opinions. if you don't like the opinions you solicited, that's your issue.

    agreed!!

    to the op: no one ever said the family wasn't an integral part of patient care, for crying out loud.....but that doesn't mean they do my job for me. your interpretation of that statement needs a lot of revising, stop thinking in absolutes. just because someone isn't agreeing with all of the things you are saying doesn't mean they think the patient's family is of no value or has no role at all. there's a lot of gray area here.

    the more you post, the more i think that your original description of the events is inaccurate. if you had any of the attitude that day, in that room, that you do here, it's not surprising in the least why that nurse responded to you like she did.
    Last edit by cherrybreeze on Jun 20, '09 : Reason: clarity
  12. by   momofqc
    Quote from ruby vee
    you're not a nurse (yet) and you just don't get it. you don't know "this is how it all goes down." you don't know anything.

    as for the "sharks" getting off your back -- you asked for opinions. if you don't like the opinions you solicited, that's your issue.

    i asked for opinions and it turned into a bloodbath. like stated before, it's understandable to be defensive and justify other nurses...only natural. i've not attacked or belittled anyone and haven't said anything that other nurses haven't posted or said to me before.
  13. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from momofqc
    i'm not preaching and never said my mother was abused and the nurse was mean. (and she was short, average wt., and fairly pretty) if my family was out of line i'd be the first one to tell them! my point was that if a pt or family is fairly easy to deal with there should be no reason to be snippy to them....it's their family member in the hospital and we're there to do a job. the best for the pt and family is to communicate with them with a sense of compassion in order to achieve optimal results and cooperation from the pt as well as the family. not a bad idea to communicate with coworkers this way to achieve the same results. thanks for assuming i have a learning disability....very mature. fyi...i have a 3.7 gpa and am raising 2 children by myself. i'm doing just fine.
    so you, in your infinite wisdom and experience know what's best for the patient and the family, how to achieve optimal results and cooperation and how to communicate with co-workers. wow! all this and you're still in school.

    as i stated before, get back to us in a few years.

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