What Would You Do If You Had My Life? - page 3

I need help from this community of nursing veterans to tell me what direction to take given my particular situation. I am a married mother of four children. My oldest three are from my first marriage... Read More

  1. by   mystykstar
    No one condemed you for not having children, from my understanding of your post you were the one who called women with children silly and irresponsible and for what reason, I'm not sure. You can have ANY career and have children, women do it everyday and will continue to do it whether it gets "on your nerves" or not. You really should stop and think before you post something you have absolutly no idea about and that is what it is like to have a child and work and give them the best opportunity to succeed in life-is that not what humanity is about?
  2. by   whipping girl in 07
    Quote from ellean55
    i have worked with nurses who have children and trust me some of them were so pre-occupied with their little ones that they became ineffective. it really got on my nerves. i reported one nurse because she kept making careless errors because she was so concerned about her children whilst on shift. my take : you cant have children and have nursing career at the same time. sort out your child-care issues before accepting a position.


    [font="franklin gothic medium"]well, thank goodness you have not chosen to procreate so that your lovely genes will not be passed on!

    to the op, i'm with the "become a cna and work your way through an rn program" camp. i was fortunate enough not to have to work very much while i was in nursing school. besides a brief time when my husband cracked up and decided he didn't want to be married anymore, he paid the bills while i went to school.

    seriously, though, can't you take the ex back to court and force child support? you should not have to pay for everything yourself.
  3. by   rn/writer
    Please, focus on the original topic--how to balance work, school, financial obligations, and family concerns.

    No one plans to end up in dire straits, but life happens. Circumstances change. Marriages fall apart. Jobs disappear. The economy tanks.

    We're all doing the best we can with what we have. Let's leave the judgments and the insults out of this discussion and look for ways to encourage each other.

    Thank you.
  4. by   kendra1978
    Quote from whipping girl in 07
    [font=franklin gothic medium]well, thank goodness you have not chosen to procreate so that your lovely genes will not be passed on!

    to the op, i'm with the "become a cna and work your way through an rn program" camp. i was fortunate enough not to have to work very much while i was in nursing school. besides a brief time when my husband cracked up and decided he didn't want to be married anymore, he paid the bills while i went to school.

    seriously, though, can't you take the ex back to court and force child support? you should not have to pay for everything yourself.
    i had a court date on tuesday. i have hired an attorney and the judge issued a warrant for ex's arrest, however since he lives out of state it will be hard to get the warrant enforced. we are making an appointment with the d.a's office this week to see if he will agree to the case being tried as a felony flagrant non-support case. thank you for posting your experience and advice.
  5. by   tothepointeLVN
    To the OP is you can manage to assert yourself the way it seems you are handling your husbands situation re: the legal action then I think nursing will be for you
    Last edit by rn/writer on May 29, '09
  6. by   Ellean55
    It seems my comments have been deemed offensive. I am sorry. I didnt meant to cause offense. I wont mention about me not having children and my career again. I have strong views I didnt realise how others would perceive those views. Sorry. *sighs*
    Last edit by Ellean55 on May 29, '09
  7. by   rn/writer
    Quote from Ellean55
    It seems my comments have been deemed offensive. I am sorry. I didnt meant to cause offense. I wont mention about me not having children and my career again. I have strong views I didnt realise how others would perceive those views. Sorry. *sighs*
    Thank you for connecting and caring. I hope no one holds a grudge and we can all move on.

    It might be interesting for you to start a thread on the subject of how having kids (or not having them) affects a nursing career. I'm sure there are others who might like to weigh in on that topic.

    In this case, the OP has to play the hand she was dealt (a full house, so to speak), so that's where the focus needs to be.

    One of the really good things about nursing is that it has more flexibility than almost any other kind of schooling and career. Might need determination and creativity, but you need that to be a nurse anyway. OP, I hope you can find a way to make it all happen. Your kids will be so proud of their mama.
  8. by   Katie82
    Quote from kendra1978
    What would you do?
    Many nursing programs are progressive: after 6 months you are elegible for CNA certivication, after a year for LPN and two years RN. You can stop at LPN, work for a while, then re-enter the program for the final year. Even if you stop after 6 months, you would have your pre-reqs out of the way in case you want to go back.

    Working as a CNA is a good way to find out if you like healthcare, but remember a couple of things. CNAs are not always treated fairly, and there is a great big healthcare world beyond hospital nursing.
  9. by   Ellean55
    To those who have children you can combine a nursing caree with having little ones. It maybe alot of hard work but its achieveable.
  10. by   locolorenzo22
    Here's the number one thing that no one seems to be asking:...Do you have a budget already set with the income you KNOW you have? Too often, people head out without a good idea of the money that will be going right back out. You need to talk to a local school to figure out what's out there, apply for programs, try to talk to a admissions or financial aid counselor, and plan for working as a CNA for 10 bucks/hour....the standard average wage I've ever seen for starting... 10 bucks/hr x 12hrs times 3 days a week is only 360 bucks before tax every week....I went the A route....and it was tough...even though I was single....
    The expierence was good for school and work...but remember you are likely to double your checks when you get that RN....GL whatever you decide.
  11. by   GaMBA
    I'm a single mom of a 2-yo and currently doing option A, working as a CNA while finishing up my prereqs for an RN program. Originally I had planned to get my LPN first, and had even finished the prereqs for it, but ultimately decided to forgo the LPN and go straight for the RN (preferably BSN). My reasoning was that I didn't want to be out of the work force and out of income for the year it would take me to become an LPN, only to have limited job opportunities available to me, none of which I was really interested in. I don't have anyone to support me and my child but me, and I don't want to take out loans for living expenses during an LPN program when I know I'll have to take them out again for an RN program. I preferred to just bite the bullet, start taking the RN prereqs, and hopefully be able to get into an RN program that will allow me to be able to work at least a little while going thru the program. THe LPN program at the school I was looking at is M-F 8a-3p. I don't have people that could watch my kid every weekend or overnite while I work, so the LPN school schedule wasn't optimal for me (hence the probability of loans). I need daytime M-F employment. There are BSN programs in my area where you go to class and clinicals 2 to 4 days a week. There's even a part-time BSN program, meaning I can possibly work full-time and go to school at the same time, and still be done in 2.5 yrs. I'm hoping I'll be able to get my RN and come out of this whole thing with very little school loans. It may take a little longer for me to eventually become a nurse, but I'll hopefully be able to get into areas of nursing that interest me and I won't have a mountain of nursing school student loans to worry about. Plus I'll be getting some healthcare experience and exposure in the meantime (which has been extremely beneficial for helping me to see if this is a career/industry I want to get into).

    Ultimately, it all depends on what your goals are and what you are willing to sacrifice and do. If getting the LPN will provide you the opportunities you'd like, then shoot for that right now. But if you do your research and decide that the LPN won't put you where you'd like to be, then consider forgoing it and going straight for the RN.
  12. by   nkara
    Quote from stitchmup
    I can tell you all about dilemmas! I had a full time, very stressful job during the day, and was taking pre-req ADN classes at night. After 14 years on the job, corporate came and shut down my terminal due to budget cuts, leaving me unemployed. I decided to go to school full time to get my RN degree. Two weeks after losing my job, my husband of 6 years decides he doesn't want to have to pay the bills himself, so he walks out on me for the girlfriend he'd been seeing. Forget the fact that I supported him the first 2 years of our marriage.

    So here I am, single, unemployed, over $3000 a month in bills, one kid in college, and I just got accepted to nursing school. My unemployment runs out next week. I'm grooming dogs to try and pay the bills, and every month is a stress nightmare. I'll get financial aid to help, but only enough to cover the cost of school. Thanks to my ex, my credit is shot for another two years. I have no idea how I'm going to survive this next semester, but I'll do it. Somehow. Suggestions?

    I'm applying to an area hospital for one of their scholarships...they pay for your school, and you commit to work for them for 6 months for each semester they pay for...does anyone have any advice about these? I'm going into CNA training next month at the same hospital, to get my foot in the door and get experience. They pay you while they train you. I figure I can work at the hospital Monday thru Friday, then groom Saturday. That'll get me thru the summer.

    On a lighter note, my ex's girlfriend dumped him the day we signed the divorce papers. My life may be a nightmare, but revenge is sweet.

    My situation was almost similar. I left my husband and moved back home. Rented an apartment and then bought a house. I was working as a mortgage underwriter for the past 20 years... well we all know where that went. I was laid off from the last two mortgage companies and couldn't get a job in that field anymore. So I lost my house, car, etc. I decided I would get my CNA license and start over. So I ended up moving again... have my CNA license and lucked out with a job in a hospital. After seeing I can handle this job I decided to get my RN license. I'm now in pre-req classes and hope to finish within 5 years.. I'm working full time nights so I'm taking my time. Plus I don't want to give myself more stress by trying to cram in more classes than I can handle. I want to pass and understand the information. So I would say option A for the original question. You will gain experience.
  13. by   shocker29
    To the ladies contemplating nursing school going through struggles, especially with kids:

    I know we are getting off of the subject a little, but I think that it is important that you know that this is very doable. Regardless of what anyone thinks of your family situation.... I have three kids... started college when the youngest was 5 weeks old... spent 3 years in a major that was pretty much worthless. Then I switched to nursing. Got my CNA license the summer before, so I could work as a CNA while in school (invaluable experience). During nursing school (BSN program), I worked full-time, went to school full-time and raised three beautiful kids. Almost got divorced (apart for a year), flipped my car on the highway, lost my financial aid, husband had to go on disability, etc. I know that I had more than a little help from "Above," but the point is that you are only limited to achieving what you limit yourself to. I hate nothing more than people telling me what I "can" and "can't" do. Things seem rough, but you'll make it through if you are dedicated enough. Don't give up girls. You can do it with kids. (By the way, now I am working on my Master's.)

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