I graduated with an ADN from Cerritos College this past December, enrolled in Kaplan, and I just lost access to their online videos an less than an hour ago. I have been studying between 5 to 7 hours a day with an additional hour or and hour and a half these past week and a half. Prior, I have been studying about 3 - 5 hours a day, but more on the side of 3. Throughout Nursing school, I took notes on the computer, and studies with three other friends. I had very good study habits, but all I could manage was either a B or a C in class. (Most of the time, I'd go into teh final with a solid B and completely blow it, managing to pull through with a very high C.) I don't know who to write to, and I feel like I am falling apart. I drove to Irvine everyday (about 30 miles to rewatch all their Course Videos, and I finished two days ago. I would sit there with a thermos full of coffee, and I would smoke cigarettes (never, ever before to stay awake). I've been told I need to rest, but whatever, they are not taking the test. When I was taking teh Diagnostic test in January @ Kaplan, I was one bar below borderline, and after the Kaplan, I was borderline. On the CD, my first test I scored a 55%, 2nd, scored a 51%, and on the 3rd test I JUST SCORED A 39%!!!
I have been told that the first two test are very easy, so I feel really stupid. I have also been practicing on teh Nursing 2000 CD and the Nursing 3000 CD. There, I score between a 60% to a 65%. When I watch teh Kaplan Videos, I keep track of how many I get right and how many I miss and I get roughtly between 65% - 75% correct. My Kaplan book is all marked up from reviewing countless times. I don't know what good it will do to write like this. It won't do me any good, actually. I've had nightmares about me waking up on teh day of the exam and telling myself I am not ready. I dreamt a two nights ago that I got pulled over by the police and was arrested for having too much caffeine in my system that my hands shook uncontrollable. I need Xanax!!!
I was sooo confident in myself until I finished this test. How could've I had a 39%??? I'm also enrolled in a CCRN course (which I felt very confident in), but the final is on the day after the NCLEX. I know I can't possibly study for it. I don't know what I expect to hear... I'm just not feeling so confident right now. I can't hear, "You'll be ok," because that's false reassurance. All my friends have passed so far. I don't know what to say anymore. I can't reschedule and I don't want to, either. To postpone it longer, well, I'd feel l like I've forgotten everything from nursing school. On test two of Kaplan's CD, I scored the majority of the categories in the high 50's to as far as 100% (Analysis), mostly in the 70's and 80's, with a low score in management of care (8%) and safety (33%). I figured they were low because I haven't touched those pages since February because I reviewed them so much.