Something is wrong with me. Guess I shouldn't be a nurse

RNMAN2010, CRNA · May 21, 2011

What area of nursing are you in currently? What about mental health nursing or public health nursing? It sounds like you've tried a few brands of nursing out, have you given yourself the opportunity to really settle in one place?

ErinS, BSN, RN · May 21, 2011

I think you are being to hard on yourself. I have been in my current job 3 years, I am very good at it, and I have days where I am sure I have a brain tumor because I can not remember ANYTHING. If I were you I would look into areas of nursing that allow you to focus on one pt at a time, like home health or hospice. Or areas where you are doing a very specific and limited type of skill, like an infusion clinic. When I am orienting people, i can handle lots of personalities and slow learners, as long as new staff are willing to take the initiative and ask questions. I have met lots of nurses who are both ocd and add and they make great nurses because they are detail oriented. It is just a matter of finding a good fit for you.

chiverlee · May 21, 2011

After a few failed attempts over the last year at finding a nursing job I am suited for, this relatively new nurse is at a loss. I think there must be something wrong with my brain. I am disorganized, horrible at time management, cannot do several things at once, I move slower than most. This is all when I am learning a hundred new things at once mind you. I have anxiety and have noticed that in nursing jobs, there is not as much time allowed for learning compared to my previous occupations prior to nursing school. (which I always excelled at) I guess I'm so detail oriented that it becomes counter productive. When learning things that are new, I tend to focus intensely on one thing at a time and all of the other information or things I am supposed to be doing at the same time are out the window! I also have to do things over and over repetitiously before I can pick up speed at it; not just a few times of watching someone else and then doing it once or twice. I know I have some OCD, but now I'm wondering if I have ADD because I cannot focus on all of these things and feel completely overwhelmed and paralyzed with fear because of my disorganization. Ugh.
It's too bad because I am super compassionate and very perceptive to the feelings and emotions of others. I love talking to people and helping them solve their problems. I feel that I have a way of calming people down and relating well to people with "issues". Maybe I should have gone into social work. Or maybe I should have listened to that personality profile test and become a shrink!

it'll all be easy in time..

VioletKaliLPN, LPN · May 21, 2011

i am add and bi polar, but thanks to treatment i am able to function very very well. perhaps treatment would allow *you* to function to your max ability. there is nothing bad or wrong with you, but sometimes medical problems like ocd, add, or other mental health issues, prevent us from reaching our max potential.

you made it through nursing school and passed ncex, yes? :)

you can do this, but you may need some help to reach your max potential. it is no different than an illness like diabetes mellitus, if you do not treat it well it interferes with your ability to function at your max potential.

:)

ijuanabhappy, ASN, RN · May 21, 2011

What area of nursing are you in currently? What about mental health nursing or public health nursing? It sounds like you've tried a few brands of nursing out, have you given yourself the opportunity to really settle in one place?

My first job out of school was a cardiac floor and I was so overwhelmed and the preceptor was so hateful, I had HR move me into a clinic position. While less stressful, I was just doing phone triage, and as a new nurse with no experience... I felt that I was not getting the experience I needed and I didn't like just being solely on the phones. After almost a year in the clinic, I took a NICU fellowship but was quickly told by my preceptor that I wasn't fast enough and seemed to "zone out" when put in stressful situations. I was only there a few weeks. The internship was only 8 weeks and I was on week 3. 4 babies at a time from day one... yes, I was a bit overwhelmed trying to soak everything in. She would tell me to do about three different things at once that I had never done before, only watched; wanting me to be in multiple places at one time which is impossible; and seemed to prefer chit chatting with coworkers rather than helping me succeed.

I would love to get into mental health or public health, but with not a lot of significant experience, I don't know how.

ijuanabhappy, ASN, RN · May 21, 2011

i am add and bi polar, but thanks to treatment i am able to function very very well. perhaps treatment would allow *you* to function to your max ability. there is nothing bad or wrong with you, but sometimes medical problems like ocd, add, or other mental health issues, prevent us from reaching our max potential.
you made it through nursing school and passed ncex, yes? :)
you can do this, but you may need some help to reach your max potential. it is no different than an illness like diabetes mellitus, if you do not treat it well it interferes with your ability to function at your max potential.
:)

i stopped my meds for anxiety because i felt it was making matters worse by interfering with my cognition. i had just started lamictal back up again but stopped it after a few days because i felt too foggy. i'm not bipolar, well not that i know of, but my doctor put me on mood stabilizing meds because i do not respond well to the the side effects of ssri's, snri's, wellbutrin. he thought maybe i could be bipolar ii because of this but it was a big maybe. i really don't think so. i don't make quick, rash decisions.... i can't make a decision to save my life, lol... terribly indecisive over here. well i take that back; i have made some quick, snap decisions in my personal life... but never at work... i'm way too cautious and meticulous... which i know can be counterproductive. school was easy for me and i had a full scholarship because of my grades. clinicals were another story. they frightened me to death. i hope i find my place somewhere.

Nascar nurse, ASN, RN · May 21, 2011

Maybe I should have gone into social work. Or maybe I should have listened to that personality profile test and become a shrink!

Awe, this made me grin. I wanted to be a nurse since I was 5 or 6. They made me take one of these stupid tests in high school. The results...I would be an awful nurse. Cried for couple days before Dad stepped in and told me to knock it off..it was only a stupid piece of paper. "Only thing gonna stop you from being a great nurse is YOU". After 25 years as a "great nurse" I believe it was good advice for me & I think probably good advice for you too!

You are being unfair to yourself. You haven't even given yourself an opportunity to develop organization or time management skills...You've just decided you can't do it. It takes time...LOTS OF TIME (maybe even a year or two). So "Knock it off. The only thing gonna stop you from being a great nurse is YOU"

Good luck

jmqphd · May 21, 2011

It's too bad because I am super compassionate and very perceptive to the feelings and emotions of others. I love talking to people and helping them solve their problems. I feel that I have a way of calming people down and relating well to people with "issues". Maybe I should have gone into social work. Or maybe I should have listened to that personality profile test and become a shrink!

Actually, I think this might be where your problem lies.

If you don't plan your work, you will be responding to events all day long, you won't "finish" on time, because you haven't planned your time. I know I'm making assumptions. I'm assuming you're in an acute care setting and are taking care of multiple patients. You say your are super compassionate and perceive things and talk to patients who have issues.

I do too. But I do it in an integrated way, and for reasons that have to do with the specific patient problems I've assessed, using therapeutic communication and interpersonal skills. And I use my time and presence in a therapeutic way as well. I do not think it is compassionate to be "talking to people with issues" and "calming them down" when someone is waiting to get their vanco at a specific time, or another person's PCA pump is out of morphine and beeping, and someone else who doesn't have "issues" needs to be turned and have their wet linen changed. It's good that you calm down the anxious pts. But it's your job to be equally compassionate with the mute patient who is semi-comatose, give them mouth care, turn them, watch them for signs of pain they can't express, observe them closely for unexpected decline or changes in their conditions.

You know... I can "talk" to people, while I assess their oxygenation, do neuro-checks, check their wounds, check their IV's and change out tubing and program pumps, and feed them breakfast because they had a stroke and have just been put on a dysphagia II diet... etc. etc.

Also notice that you stated "I love talking to people..." OK, tough question here. Are your choice of nursing actions being taken for your good, or for the good of your patients. At the end of the 12 hours, does it matter whether you got to do what you "love" to do? Or does it matter that your load of 5 or 7 patients had their most pressing needs met?

I'm sort of picking up vibes that you have been criticized for time management and you're on the defensive and trying to convince yourself that you are more compassionate than your more organized colleagues. You're just better than they are and they are too dull (and cruel?) to notice.

ijuanabhappy, ASN, RN · May 21, 2011

It's too bad because I am super compassionate and very perceptive to the feelings and emotions of others. I love talking to people and helping them solve their problems. I feel that I have a way of calming people down and relating well to people with "issues". Maybe I should have gone into social work. Or maybe I should have listened to that personality profile test and become a shrink!

Actually, I think this might be where your problem lies.
If you don't plan your work, you will be responding to events all day long, you won't "finish" on time, because you haven't planned your time. I know I'm making assumptions. I'm assuming you're in an acute care setting and are taking care of multiple patients. You say your are super compassionate and perceive things and talk to patients who have issues.
I do too. But I do it in an integrated way, and for reasons that have to do with the specific patient problems I've assessed, using therapeutic communication and interpersonal skills. And I use my time and presence in a therapeutic way as well. I do not think it is compassionate to be "talking to people with issues" and "calming them down" when someone is waiting to get their vanco at a specific time, or another person's PCA pump is out of morphine and beeping, and someone else who doesn't have "issues" needs to be turned and have their wet linen changed. It's good that you calm down the anxious pts. But it's your job to be equally compassionate with the mute patient who is semi-comatose, give them mouth care, turn them, watch them for signs of pain they can't express, observe them closely for unexpected decline or changes in their conditions.
You know... I can "talk" to people, while I assess their oxygenation, do neuro-checks, check their wounds, check their IV's and change out tubing and program pumps, and feed them breakfast because they had a stroke and have just been put on a dysphagia II diet... etc. etc.
Also notice that you stated "I love talking to people..." OK, tough question here. Are your choice of nursing actions being taken for your good, or for the good of your patients. At the end of the 12 hours, does it matter whether you got to do what you "love" to do? Or does it matter that your load of 5 or 7 patients had their most pressing needs met?
I'm sort of picking up vibes that you have been criticized for time management and you're on the defensive and trying to convince yourself that you are more compassionate than your more organized colleagues. You're just better than they are and they are too dull (and cruel?) to notice.

Sorry but you are way off base here. First of all, I am not working in acute care and have not been. When I was working for those short stints in the hospital, (NICU and cardiac), I was not overly talkative with patients and their families because I was too consumed with trying to learn the job. If anything, I probably came off anti-social or shy because I wasn't very communicative while I was trying to learn.

I was just talking about occupations in general. I tend to be a good listener and problem solver; not that I have used this in the hospital setting.

AgentBeast, BSN, RN · May 21, 2011

Seek professional help from a licensed therapist. This place isn't horrid, but the internet isn't exactly the place to go looking for answers to these kinds of problems.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · May 21, 2011

You haven't really given this nursing business enough time to decide whether it's a good fit for you. :)

Honestly......it took me YEARS to grow into the job and find my own niche. I was one of those "late bloomers" who'd dreamed of becoming a nurse since I was a child, but when I finally got my RN at the age of 38, I was astonished to learn how much I didn't know. In fact, I don't think I was really comfortable with being a nurse until about five years ago.

Now, of course, I can perform a hundred different assessments on a person during a 10-minute interview. I look into their eyes---are they bright and clear, or are the sclerae yellowed or bloodshot? I watch and listen as they speak---is there any facial drooping? tongue midline? difficulty finding words? I pay attention to their body habitus and posture---any trembling in the hands? do they sit hunched over, as if in pain or depressed? hair and nails dirty or unkempt? clothing appropriate for their age and size? Can they walk without difficulty? Are they wearing incontinence briefs under their clothes? You can tell a gazillion things about a patient by just observing and listening......

But that's a skill that will take months, if not years, to develop, so please be patient with yourself and if you can, try not to move around so much. Let yourself settle into a job and take the time to learn it thoroughly; this will give you some much-needed confidence, and you'll eventually develop a routine that works well for you (thus solving your time-management issues). Good luck!