Some ER nurse I am

MMARN, BSN, RN · Sep 9, 2006

I'm sorry for your loss. There's no way you can blame yourself. Things happen. Ihope you and your husband find strength within each other. God bless you.

luvkitties · Sep 9, 2006

Was just walking out the door to go to work tonight and the phone rang. Brother in law had been taken from golf course to ER. Massive heart attack and gone.
Figured that since I was a hot shot ER nurse now I could deal with anything. Wrong. Still crying 5 hours later. Hope my husband makes it through this. He is the last of the brothers alive and just lost his dad 2 years ago.
Hope they are not too pissed about me not showing up at work tonight with only 1/2 hour notice. My attendance has never been a problem.

I'm so sorry for your loss and what you're going through right now...as far as work is concerned, I'm sure given the circumstances, they would understand.

May you find comfort and solitude during this difficult time...

~Lori

weetziebat · Sep 9, 2006

I'm soo sorry about your loss. No matter how much you might think you're prepared for death, thinking about it and experiencing it are two very different things.

You certainly have an excellent reason for not going into work, and can't imagine anyone questioning that.

Will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers, that you find the strength to deal with the loss of your BIL. :icon_hug:

nuangel1, BSN, RN · Sep 9, 2006

i am so sorry for your loss .

rnmi2004 · Sep 9, 2006

My condolences to your husband and you for the sudden loss. Even a "hot shot ER nurse" has the right to grieve over family members--it must tear you up to see how it is affecting your husband.

vamedic4, EMT-P · Sep 9, 2006

gonzo...I'm so very sorry to hear about your brother in law. Prayers go out to you and your husband.

As for the work issue...don't even let that enter your mind, there are more important things you can focus on-like your husband and the rest of your family getting through this event.

All the best,

vamedic4

Trauma Columnist · Sep 9, 2006

Gonzo - I'm so sorry. Just because we are ER nurses, doesn't mean that we can't be hurt. We do typically feel that we are invincible. However, we are also human. Please take time to grieve.

TazziRN, RN · Sep 9, 2006

When I lost my brother suddenly I totally, completely fell apart and was a basket case. I'm so sorry for your loss but please don't beat yourself up or worry how this looks. We are allowed to hurt to, and if they don't understand that, they are jerks.

Schoolnursetrish39 · Sep 9, 2006

Gonzo,

Believe me its has nothing to do with you being a ER RN its family and you need to grieve. I lost my boyfriend to heart failure about 6 months ago.. he was coded and brought back and didn't live out the day and I just totally could not think like a nurse that day.. my mind wouldn't move that direction. As nurses in the hospital our patients we see we aren't emotional attached to and of course we handle it better... You are feeling perfectly normal feelings and I felt bad for a good 2 months because I felt as a nurse I should have been able to handle his death better... Don't feel bad for feeling sad.. its what makes us human.... and I am very sorry for your and your husband's loss...

santhony44, MSN, RN, NP · Sep 9, 2006

This was your brother-in-law, you will greive and worry over your husband whether you are an ER nurse or a newspaper carrier. You are a person first and don't beat yourself up over it.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and your husband.

And if your workplace does not understand a short notice call-in for the death of a family member, then that's not a good place to work. Most supervisors and co-workers should be more than happy to do whatever they can to help you out.