Single mother questions

Nurses General Nursing

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I have been a RN and a mother for relatively the same amount of time 2 1/2 years. I am a single mother and because my daughter is so young I am having the hardest time finding the balance. I work night shift, which requires the help of my grandfather and sisters. I feel guilty that I consume so many of their nights especially my sister who is only 31. I tried getting a 9-5 but 6 months in I had to go back to nights because the money wasn't working. Now I'm back and confused and my 2 yo everynight after parttime daycare says "mommy i want home." but she has to go to her great grandfather's place instead some nights so i can work . It hurts my heart so I wanted to know if anyone had any similar situations and what solutions you all used.

routine is so important to a little kid. is there any chance that your grandfather (or someone) could be putting her to bed at your house, and sleeping there?

when i was a single mother of two little ones, i got a roommate who exchanged babysitting and getting kids to daycare early in the morning for rent. it was worth it. i had to pay the rent anyway, but my kids were in their own bed/crib qnoc.

Grn tea has the perfect answer.

All I want to add is I was in the same situation,, many years later my kids are happy and well adjusted despite the rigors of a nursing career.

Good luck.

I wish that were an option. The only reliable sister with a car that I have is in college and lives on campus and my grandfather has notdrove in years. I thought the roommate thing too but haven't found anyone that I trust to do it. I agree about the routine and just wish I had more options. Thanks for thesuggestions I'll keep them in mind.l.

Thank you. It can be soooooo overwhelming and I just want to do right by her and still pursue my career.

Specializes in LTAC, ICU, ER, Informatics.

You know, when I was a single mom with a kiddo, I'd have given anything to find another single mom with a kiddo to rent part of my home out to, who was willing to trade babysitting, share housekeeping/cooking, etc. I don't know where you go about networking to find something like that. I'm not sure I'd trust something like Craigslist (which didn't exist when I was in that desperate situation) but it might be an option with some really good screening. Maybe network like mad at your church, your work, etc. and find other people in similar situation.

Good luck, I know it's hard.

Hi, I'm in a similar situation looking for a solution.. I've been talking to some nurses and someone suggested to me to try working in the OR or PACU because they have mostly daytime hours (some 7-3) and most weekends and holidays off because most elective surgeries would not be scheduled then so you would only have to deal with the emergency surgeries.. I'm not sure about the pay though, but its something to think about. Good luck!

I was not a single mother, I was married, but my husband also worked odd hours. NO matter ow hard we tried, we were unable to make our schedules "fit" so someone was always off. I also had to rely heavily on my parents. I made it as consistant as I could. Worked my three in a row (when possible), they knew at 1600 they could "wake Mommy up" and I would cook dinner and take them up to Nana's for the night. It was simply what we had to do. Because of that, my children have wonderful memories of spending time with their grandparents. Was it always fun. No. Were there tears on all sides? Yes. But.. they are now 18 and 13, and are as normal as monsters that age are. They remain VERY close to my parents. Consistancy. Good Luck. And NO WAY would I trust anyone I found on craigslist. I've heard too many nightmares..

Are you unable to leave your child with her father the nights you work? That is what some of the single moms I work with do.

@noviceRN10 her father is a police officer so his schedule is indifferent and he always "has to work"." We don't live in the same city and he's one go those men that don't always like to be committed. He gets her maybe a couple days out of the month. Thank you everyone for they're helpful suggestions. I rent an apartment right now, I dont own a house. And the PACU/OR suggestion is oneim considering heavy right now :-) I love nurses we are usually always willing to help!

I had a similar problem when my kids were younger. I became a school nurse to have the same schedule as my children. I did take a huge pay cut, but the benefits far outweighed the $$. Unfortunately, now though, we are being laid off at the end of the school year!

Anyway, there are many areas of nursing to look into that may have better hours for you. Keep networking and you never know what you may find out there!

Best of luck to you.

Specializes in Primary Care.

Sorry you are having to deal with these feeling. You will have make sacrifices. I know it is hard but the 9-5 maybe the answer.It will allow you to spend time with your child. But I must tell you sometimes you have to make decisions that are unpopular. I am 53 years old now but was widowed at 35 year old. I raised 5 children alone. My mother and aunt helped but it was difficult. Today they are all grown and on their own. They also did the best they could. I am proud because they are all productive adults. My philosophy is to do the best you can.

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