Sexual Misconduct at work

ChristineN, BSN, RN · Feb 17, 2009

Did the female CNA try to tell hiim no and discourage sexual inuendos?

leslie :-D · Feb 17, 2009

i would think the severity of discipline would depend on how the 'spankee' reacted, or were they joking w/ea other?

if the cna who was spanked, was totally surprised and upset, they will likely be harsher vs if they were both just playing around.

leslie

Koyaanisqatsi-RN · Feb 17, 2009

i would think the severity of discipline would depend on how the 'spankee' reacted, or were they joking w/ea other?
if the cna who was spanked, was totally surprised and upset, they will likely be harsher vs if they were both just playing around.
leslie

Yeah this is important. Spanking isn't really appropriate at work regardless of whatever else, but if they were just playing around and she was fine with it, then they probably just need to be told to knock it off. Something severe would be too harsh though.

caliotter3 · Feb 17, 2009

We had a male CNA who was having an affair with a married CNA. It caused problems on the job which the nurses dealt with as they came up. He was suspended from work for coming to work under the influence of alcohol. The female CNAs husband would come to pick her up in the am and everyone would head for the hills because they didn't want to get involved with anything but I'm sure they were just bursting to let him know what was going on. Both were still working at the facility when I left so I don't know that it went any further than him getting in trouble for drinking before work. I think you need to keep the two separated and by all means document everything and shoot it up the chain. I would ask your boss to have one of the people removed from the shift. I wouldn't want to be worrying about calling in law enforcement and trying to press charges, should this get worse. She is just as culpable as he is if she doesn't say "no". You know when it comes to sexual harassment she could go against the employer, and you, for not keeping her from his inappropriate behavior; even if she is influencing it. You don't want to get accused of anything because of your supervisory position for the employer. Get rid of one of them.

evilolive, BSN, RN · Feb 17, 2009

The female CNA did not appreciate the spanking at all. She has told me that she can cope with getting comments and brush them off, but she does not like anyone touching her. These two aides have been known to joke in the past

but she is getting more and more frustrated with the comments whenever they work together. I'll have to be frank with her this week about making her feelings known to the spanker.

Fortunately the male CNA did appear extremely remorseful, but he began to make excuses and lie about the situation. I read over his statement and I got upset about the fact that he could not just "man up" to the situation. I guess this is human nature, however.

leslie :-D · Feb 17, 2009

Fortunately the male CNA did appear extremely remorseful, but he began to make excuses and lie about the situation. I read over his statement and I got upset about the fact that he could not just "man up" to the situation.I guess this is human nature, however.

oh, bull.

it's important that he does man up.

no excuses at all.

he needs to understand that he clearly crossed a line.

his understanding/accountability will only be lost if he makes excuses.

and yes, the female cna needs to learn to speak up.

for her sake, i would definitely have him work on another floor/unit.

leslie

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Feb 17, 2009

Was this a pat on the butt or a spanking that really hurt?

ShelleyERgirl, LPN · Feb 17, 2009

oh, bull.
it's important that he does man up.
no excuses at all.
he needs to understand that he clearly crossed a line.
his understanding/accountability will only be lost if he makes excuses.
and yes, the female cna needs to learn to speak up.
for her sake, i would definitely have him work on another floor/unit.
leslie

I'm with Leslie, the female CNA needs to grow a spine and let him know she won't tolerate this, joking or not.

feralnostalgia · Feb 17, 2009

The female CNA did not appreciate the spanking at all. She has told me that she can cope with getting comments and brush them off, but she does not like anyone touching her. These two aides have been known to joke in the past
but she is getting more and more frustrated with the comments whenever they work together. I'll have to be frank with her this week about making her feelings known to the spanker.
Fortunately the male CNA did appear extremely remorseful, but he began to make excuses and lie about the situation. I read over his statement and I got upset about the fact that he could not just "man up" to the situation. I guess this is human nature, however.

if the spankee wasn't very clear about her dislike for being touched, and has heretofore gone along with jokes, the male CNA might be confused...he's still wrong and should definitely be repremanded, but he may not have understood it to be a violation. I've been consistently amazed with how machismo works...I've met plenty of sensitive, emotionally intelligent men, but some are stupendously thick. I don't know this particular guy but if he's fairly young he may be inexperienced with women and think that this kind of behavior (which is not out of the ordinary for male-male friendships) is acceptable. if she hasn't said "no" he might have thought this kind of playful behavior was the next logical step in the relationship, and been taken by surprise to find out there was no developing relationship at all. she shouldn't have to say "no", in my opinion, but if the spanker had feelings for spankee, he may have been interpreting things very optimistically. I'd only be inclined to be charitable and assume it was a misunderstanding if this is the first time he's done this with anyone.

he might also be a deadbeat sexist pig who deserves no mercy. *shrug*

if this isn't the first time, I'm inclined to say the punishment should be more severe. I'm not sure most men even deserve a second chance as far as sexual harassment and abuse is concerned. I say this as a guy. frankly, I don't think most men take sexual misconduct anything like as seriously as they should, and I'd prefer to err on the side of harshness. there's far too much blaming the victim that goes on in anti-female violence ("she led him on", "she didn't say no clearly enough", "she dressed like she wanted it") and if it takes a few generations of taking this very seriously to make it stop, I don't think that's overkill. there's no excuse for taking liberties with people.

hopefully he's genuinely remorseful and this was a one time act, born of ignorance. on the other hand, if he's coming into a mostly female profession and thinks he can take advantage like that, he needs to learn hard and fast that he's got another thing coming.

ToxicShock · Feb 17, 2009

This kind of behavior is inappropriate for the workplace and completely unprofessional. Even if these two are in a romantic and/or sexual relationship together, this kind of contact has no place in the work place - period.

I believe the male needs to be reprimanded for his behavior, and the girl should be told to not accept that kind of behavior, and to discourage him from further contact with her in that manner, unless they are OUTSIDE of the workplace, read: AT HOME.

freddiebear · Feb 17, 2009

First of all you cant be a third party victim. It is up to the person who got spanked to make a complaint. It is not anyones place to get involved with the situation unless asked by the alleged victim to do so. Depending on what the employee hand book states this type of thing could be viewed as "horseplay" and both the employees could be disciplined for engaging in it. Or if one or both of the employees did this during working hours an employee could be disciplined for not being in their assigned work area. Now a third party can make a complaint stating they were offended by the behavior as in it was disturbing their peace interfering with their ability to work. If they were mutually joking around I think that a verbal warning and reminding them to get back to work and make sure that that type of thing doesnt happen again might have been appropriate.