Sad and disgusted

[oldenurselady]

I have been a nurse for more than 20 years. I have been at the same facility for about 10 years. This facility is within walking distance of my home. Currently, I am in an educator position. One of the other educators is a pushing my buttons. She can't or won't even take a set of VS on her unit, but tries to tell me and the other educators who still occasionally help out on our units, what we are doing wrong. It is just about everything as far as she is concerned. She wants control of everything. Whenver we have a meeting, she shoots down others' ideas and tells us her plan and how we must do it. I have had it with being asked to take part in teaching a class and then criticized for my performance, not by the students (I recieve rave reviews on evals), but by her. I have tried to tell her when I don't agree, but others seem afraid to join in. They are, however, willing to complain about her decisions and actions afterwards.She has an education degree MEd. I am 2 classes from my MSN with a concentration in nursing ed. I also have had to hear how inferior my degree is. The other lowly educators are all BSN's. Our education department director is not a nurse or clinical person at all. He is an EdD. She doesn't like him because he is not a nurse. Of course, she doesn't do a lot of nursing stuff like having patient contact for very many years, so I do not know what the issue is with him. I guess he is just another lesser being too. We are getting a new educator. We don't really have an open position, but she is a personal friend of the VP/DON. The fact that there are a lot of capable staff persons who would and could move into an educator role, is immaterial.

My unit manager is just plain awful. He worries more about his social life, than the unit. I am salaried and do not recieve OT, yet he has no qulams about asking me to cover this or that shift so he can go out and party with some bimbo when there is a call out. I have started to say no. My job description actually does not include working on the unit. I don't mind helping when it is truly busy. I actually enjoy having some clinical experience and patient contact, but I am sick of being taken advantage of.

Staff get snitty with me lately when they feel I am "just sitting in my office doing nothing" and they need to go to lunch, etc.(The nothing is usually something like developing their competencies or working on a new policy-you know my real job). My boss tells them I don't look busy, so I should be able to help. He, of course, is too busy to help. I hate to throw my time at the hospital away, but I am very stressed out and feel I can't take much more.

I worked agency several years ago at another local facility on the side. They had an open house which I recently attended. I talked with the manager of a unit I had worked on for about 1 1/2 years as agency. I always got good feedback for my performance on her unit. She had some flex positions and told me she'd give me a call the next day. That was 1 1/2 weeks ago. I have left three phone messages, but got no call back. I am really bummed. I need a job to make money, but feel I must leave my current position. There are no other hospitals I would like to work at in the area. I have certifications in my specialty and many CE credits. I just feel totally defeated. Any suggestions?

[towntalker]

maybe its time for a sabbatical - concentrate on finishing up your credits, do a little agency work, by all means STOP being the one they jump on as the one to do all coverage

your two coworkers have found a plan that works ie dump on you

loud doesn't make right

[Sabby_NC]

Bless your heart.

Are you able to take some time off or vacation time to re-evaluate what you truly want to do?

Finish your MSN then you will find the world may be your oyster.

Hang in there until you make the right decision for you.

[nyapa, RN]

This particular person - is she your senior? If not, politely tell her so. She is there to work not to denigrate others, or to assess her peers. She sounds like she is your main problem, and friend or no friend of the DON, she needs to be told.

As for those on your unit, you are their educator. What right do they have to treat you like that? Particularly if you aren't being paid for it. You may need to let them know the full facts as well.

It is so hard when all you want to do is go to work, do a good job, and go home satisfied. Only to have others talk behind your back, or criticise yourself and others when they clearly have no right to do so...(((hugs)))

I can't say whether you should stay or go. But what I do suggest is grab a pen and paper, draw a line down the middle, and write the pluses of staying there on one side, and the negatives on the other. It may help you make your decision more clearly...

[barefootlady, ADN, RN]

It sure sounds like you need a little vacation. Just a couple of days to have some quiet time for yourself, to think about how you can reach your goals.

No one can tell you what to do..stay or go..but think long and hard. Ten years is a long time to invest in a job. Are there other units you could transfer to and have the same type of position? Can you take advantage of educational opportunities at the facilities expense? Does your office have a door you can close while you work? The next time the HN says you don't look busy, thank him sweetly and say you have just finished working on a policy or new educational agenda for the floor and needed a few minutes to take a breather.

I have never worked on a unit where the educator was expected to stop her work and fill in for regular staff to go to lunch unless there was a real shortage for some reason, like flu season.

It sounds like you have been too good about picking up slack for the HN, staff nurses, and other educators. Maybe a blind eye and silence is needed for just awhile until you have made a firm decision.

Good luck/.

[bosnanurse]

"I have tried to tell her when I don't agree, but others seem afraid to join in. They are, however, willing to complain about her decisions and actions afterwards.She has an education degree MEd. I am 2 classes from my MSN with a concentration in nursing ed. I also have had to hear how inferior my degree is. The other lowly educators are all BSN's. Our education department director is not a nurse or clinical person at all. He is an EdD. She doesn't like him because he is not a nurse. Of course, she doesn't do a lot of nursing stuff like having patient contact for very many years, so I do not know what the issue is with him. I guess he is just another lesser being too. We are getting a new educator. We don't really have an open position, but she is a personal friend of the VP/DON. The fact that there are a lot of capable staff persons who would and could move into an educator role, is immaterial."

First to tell you that I am very sorry for your position and as we know most of nurses are like you are : we try to help and see if and where help is needed . But I will ask you a few questions from this above not to criticize you or for you to answer it but to see maybe my view.

When you not agree with your coworkers and others are quiet in that moment but after are complaining ,do you get involved in that ( post op) discussion? If you do it just makes you more vulnerable to all situation . They can always go and tell her that YOU SAID it and she already knows you were against her so you got an enemy. When they complain just say that you are with the group and that group is them so THEY decided and YOU had to agree with the group,, so.. if they do not like it next time they should "burp " it out!!!

And second question do you think that education means anything in this world? DO YOU think that you will act differently after you finish your degree or it will still hurt you when somebody criticizes you ?

I finished a few colleges and I still feel unprepared sometimes ( maybe more than sometimes!) to teach or talk or do nursing skill or cook, but I do not care. I admit that one mathematic problem can be solved on many different ways depend if we look it from "the airplane" position, "walking" position, or "crawling" position . There will be always those who see our performance different and they can criticize us but if you see that it is coming from "creepy crawlers" would you mind even to hear it ? YOU CAN PRETEND TO LISTEN, and continue your life laughing inside about different perspective.

Or you can try I forgot the name of technique something about negative inquire but goes like this: 1. Oh your performance was not good . 2. Yes... what was not good? 1. Your performance in eduction class. 2. What was not good? 1 Class was not organized good. 2. You mean time ? Did I finish on time ? 1. Yes, you finished on time but organization was not good? 2. You mean my material about HIV that was scheduled to be presented is not planed? 1. No material was planned but organization 2. Do you mean power point, printed material and pictures did not show enough? 1. Yeahh.. 2. Hmm what else I should put inside that would be good ? I am getting from you that something is not good but I need what that is to be able to fix it .. blabla bla

Put her in position to talk about concrete examples.Do not relay only on comments , bug her, go after her , give her your time to get her in the corner by her own weapon..:trout: And next time when staff say to you that ugly comment say something like " OHH well it is not easy to play genius and still be in skin that bleeds and brain that needs time to reboot."

I wish you will feel better . And , yes I believe many had this experience.Find your star.

[facetiousgoddess]

Have you considered working as an educator in an LPN or RN program? Two of our instructors were in process of finishing their Master's Degree while teaching. One was finishing up her ANP, the other was pursuing hers in nursing education and leadership. The third had her BSN/RN and was obtaining a teacher's certificate.

The only thing was the pay rate. 2 of the 3 were picking up an additional floor shift on the weekends to make up for the difference.

Our one instructor had been at the hospital for 20 years. Her "connection" with the facility really enhanced our available clinical experiences.

Just a thought!

Take Care

Tres

[Grace Oz]

Time to step back and re-evaluate your psoition as sabby has suggested.

I totally second this option.

Life is too short to waste it putting up with this kind of thing. And believe me, the older we get, the more we realise just HOW short it is and how FAST it passes by.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this ((((Hug))))

[sjaubert]

This is so typical of nursing in general from what i've seen. I always see this lack of respect in these pseudo peer relationships in a transient world where too little professionalism and dog eat dog are the rule. I hardly try to have any relationships at work and i certainly don't want to be the next one putting in ten years somewhere to go through your pains. If agency didn't exist i'd probably be working in the outback in alaska to get away from all this persistent drama i see everyday. The human condition multiplied to subtle increased degree maintained by the forces of stupid system that be and don't ask me to smile. Steve

[oldenurselady]

I thank everyone for the replies. When my 25 year old daughter was a teen, she volunteered at the hospital. She felt the women on my unit were "very gossipy and mean." At the time, I was working nights, so I did not deal with many of the daytime gals she saw. Now I do, and yes even nine years later, many are still there. And yes, they are mean and gossipy. The boss is a jerk. I could cite one hundred examples, if I had to quite easily. He is there for the power of the job, not for a love of our patients or nursing. This fellow educator is really just very full of herself. I think a lot of us block her out on many occasions. She is really, just part of the very annoying stressful picture. If it was just her, it would be manageable. I find her more irritating than hurtful. Her attitude certainly does not bring her a lot of respect. The problem is the stress added up is just becoming too much for me to tolerate. I really wish I could have picked up this other position and I am not sure what happened there. I suppose I will keep my eyes open for something else which looks good.

[nyapa, RN]

I thank everyone for the replies. When my 25 year old daughter was a teen, she volunteered at the hospital. She felt the women on my unit were "very gossipy and mean."

Sounds like your daughter summed up the situation. There seems to be a very nasty entrenched culture there...