Quit or be fired?

Nurses General Nursing

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I have been with the same company for 4 years and have NEVER called out b/c of snow/ice storms. This weekend my two kids ages 16 and 12 will have to be alone while I'm at work and its a pretty sure thing I'll be snowed in for the whole weekend. My work is a 45 minute drive and I just feel like it's dangerous to leave them alone. I'm a single mom and usually I have a back-up plan and a second back-up plan but these have fallen through. I called and talked to my DON (the staffing nurse was fired - no warning :uhoh21: ) and she insists I have to come in no matter what. Again, I have NEVER called out on account of the weather...this is more of a child-care issue. We used to be able to bring our kids to work but that is now against the rules. In fact, besides people coming in to work not knowing they'd been fired there have been a lot of other things going on with this new administration I don't like. My question is, do I quit without giving a notice or do I let them fire me? I've been with them for 4 years and that is a large chunk of my work history. :crying2:

I'm on the fence with this one. A 16 year old and a 12 year old are definatly old enought to be by themselves unless they are disabled in some way. I'm sure the DON thinks the same thing. M'aybe go through some emergency scenarios with them and alert the neighbours that your children are home alone and to check on them periodically. Nurses to my understanding are needed in bad times especially so it isnt really unreasonable to be expected to show up in bad weather. Plan plan plan! :)

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

SIx and 12 are too young to be left over a weekend by themselves. For a shift perhaps but not the weekend. If there is no possible way for you to leave them with someone else, you gotta put your kids first.

To answer your question, I wouldn't quit. I would do what I had to do and face the consequences.

I agree, it's important for the next time to have a plan.

Good luck.

SIx and 12 are too young to be left over a weekend by themselves. For a shift perhaps but not the weekend. If there is no possible way for you to leave them with someone else, you gotta put your kids first.

To answer your question, I wouldn't quit. I would do what I had to do and face the consequences.

I agree, it's important for the next time to have a plan.

Good luck.

16 and 12 . . .

I am bit torn. My kids were/are very self-sufficient and at 16 and 12 I probably would be ok with leaving them for a shift but for a whole weekend I'm not sure. The truth is I have friends and family here that could help me out and the other truth is I only live 1 mile from the hospital.

I'm not sure what to tell you to do.

steph

Really? 16 is too young? We have 16 year olds here in nursing school away from home and everything. Even with emergency numbers...neighbours looking in on them...a pre set plan of stuff to do in case of emergency? What not to do...parties etc? I guess its just me but I feel parents underestimate thier children's maturity and sense of responsibility. Children are coddled way too much but in the end...you know your kids. If you feel they can't handle themselves.....get a babysitter? But then again..the babysitter may be the same age. :chuckle

Specializes in private duty/home health, med/surg.

16 & 12 are not too young to leave under normal circumstances...but the OP is facing potentially severe weather. What will her children do by themselves all weekend if the power goes out? We've had our power knocked out a couple of times this winter and brrrr...

I hope everything turns out for the best, Nurse Wendy!

All I know is up here children are often left alone with clear instructions on what to do in case of power outages. I was one of them. We had neighbours who would look in on me and my sister and we had a phone that was not electric in case of emergency.

Now there are cell phones for such emergencies.

Should a power outage occur, the neighbours would come over or we would just do what we were told. Break out the flash lights and bundle up. Our parents really wouldn't be able to do much more than that anyways.

I'm not saying there isnt cause for concern, its just my view and my experience as such a child in that situation.

good luck.

Specializes in Operating Room.

I have to say that most 16 and 12 year olds could be left alone, even for the weekend.... BUT.....ONLY IF THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE!!!!

You know your children more than anyone.

Do you know your neighbors? Could they go there in case of emergency (power goes out, etc)

You job is how you take care of your children. If you can't find another one quickly enough because of being fired for leaving a 16 and 12 year old, how will you provide for them? I'm not sure an employer will understand why you didn't want to leave a 16 and 12 year old alone.

(or bring them....they can stay in the lobby.....your hospital may fire you for it, but wouldn't they if you did not show up?)

I understand your situation, and wouldn't want to leave mine with a possible weather problem like that. It's a tough parenting decision. Good luck in what ever you decide.

Have you talked to the other staff. Anyone willing to switch with you? or help you cover some of the shift?

I'm thinking that maybe the hospital is too short staffed to allow shift switches. Probably why she may be fired. Too bad though. That could solve a lot of problems.

Specializes in Geriatric/LTC, Rehab, Home Hhealth.
I think there are few people who believe you should put your children in danger -- even people who insist you come into work. Nurses need to understand that when they take a job that includes the responsibility for the well-being of other people, that obligation can not be ignored every time the weather gets bad. We have an obligation to the patients we have promised to serve. We have an obligation to make plans so that we can be available when an emergency happens. Hospitals make harsh policies because too many nurses don't take that obligation seriously.

The original poster certainly does not sound like one of those people who abuses the call in option. She sounds like a responsible person. If more people were like her, there would probably not be a need for such harsh hospital policies.

That said ... it illustrates the need for everyone to make a couple of back-up plans ... to have MORE than 1 or 2 childcare options ... to get to know the families of your children's friends ... to make friends within the community ... your neighbors, your church, etc. so that we can call on people to help us when we need it. If the original poster had friends she could call on in this difficult situation, she could keep her children safe and keep her job at the same time. Losing her job and having a bad employment record is not good for her children either.

Everyone with children (or pets) should be asking themselves, "What kinds of back-up plans do I have for my children?" "What would I do if there were a community emergency and I was needed at the hospital for an extended period of time?" "How can I keep my children well-cared-for if I am needed to serve my community in an emergency?" If you have a couple of back-up options to choose from, you can avoid the type of situation that started this thread.

I have worked along side many nurses with children over the years -- and been through many community emergencies. The best nurses have thought about these issues ahead of time and have multiple possibilities to choose from. They don't wait until the last minute to wonder "Gee, what about my kids?" They plan ahead. They manage to both great nurses and also great mothers and fathers. The 2 are not mutually exclusive. You can be both.

llg

I haven't called out on account of child care in 4 years! I'd say thats a pretty good track record for being a single mom. I don't have had an excellent attendance record by accident, it takes a lot of planning and back-up planning as well. In this case, I will most likely be fired b/c when my plans and back-up plans have fallen through, I picked my kids over my job and I'm not ashamed of that. I couldn't not hold down a job, go to school and raise and care for my kids if I wasn't a good planner. I am sorry if it sounds like I am venting... total lack of acknowledging that I have spent four years making sure I am on time for my shifts is what I got from my adminstration...very hurtful considering my record.

Backup plans..... for back up plans..... for back up plans...etc.

Nothing unfortunately, is ever good enough for one's boss.

Specializes in ER.

I was reading this thread to my husband who is an ex-cop. He once had to help prevent a mother from entering a house engulfed in flames, where she had left her children when she just "had" to get to work. If your family means anything to you, take care of them first, the rest is just employment. It was not even a major ice storm, but a tree had blown down in a wind storm, knocking out power, and the kids were trying to cook on a Coleman stove in the house. Don't listen to people who try to tell you to put your "job" ahead of your kids, trust me on this one.

Even if your kids are old enough to be left alone in normal circumstances, it is not worth the risk. If the power goes out, you will not have lights, may not have water, if you are on a well, will not have heat even if you have gas, but have an electric blower. When there is no power in the house, it does not take long to get VERY cold inside. Follow your instincts and don't listen to those with their own agenda. Your agenda must be your family. Ask any parent who has ever lost a child. Has anyone on their death bed ever said...I wish I had spent more time at the office? I applaud your dedication, it will pay off.

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