Questionable Behavior: Reports and Write Ups

  1. Last night, during my shift, I was having a conversation with a unit clerk over borrowing some equipment from her unit. The unit clerk said something to me that I believe to be inappropriate and unprofessional. It wasn't an attack directed at me, per say, but it was still not appropriate a remark to make in the work place.

    I was fuming. I didn't confront her in the moment because I thought I would say things I'd regret. Later on, I figured I would speak to her one-on-one but her shift was over and she already left for the night.

    Twelve hours later and I'm still upset with that comment. I would like to report it but I'm hesitant. I don't want to come off as "that" person. I don't want to go to H.R. but I was thinking of e-mailing her manager.

    Just advice on how to go about the situation. Do I e-mail my manager? E-mail her manager and C.C. my manager?

    Any thoughts are appreciated.
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    About SisterofMary

    Joined: May '16; Posts: 52; Likes: 119

    26 Comments

  3. by   Wuzzie
    How would you like it to be handled if YOU were the person doing the offending? Let that be your guide.
  4. by   meanmaryjean
    Speak to her FIRST. That is the professional and ethical thing to do.
  5. by   caliotter3
    So many times I have seen where details get 'misreported' when someone goes straight to the boss before approaching the offender. But then, that sort of reinforces why they went to the boss in the first place. Nipping something at the source is what you get when you approach the offending person, causing trouble for somebody you may not care for to begin with, is what you seek when you go straight to the boss. Not all bosses put complaints into perspective.
  6. by   Daisy4RN
    I would talk to the offender first, that is the professional thing to do. We all say things that are either flat out wrong or misinterpreted at times. We are all human. I have been on both sides of that fence and without involving HR/Manager the situation was resolved between two professional adults. HR should be your very last resort, nothing good usually comes from involving HR/Manager in these kind of situations. And, I would only say something (to the offender) if you are sure you cannot just let it go, usually its better left unsaid if possible knowing that maybe the person was just stressed, or not feeling well etc.
  7. by   Sour Lemon
    Quote from SisterofMary
    Last night, during my shift, I was having a conversation with a unit clerk over borrowing some equipment from her unit. The unit clerk said something to me that I believe to be inappropriate and unprofessional. It wasn't an attack directed at me, per say, but it was still not appropriate a remark to make in the work place.

    I was fuming. I didn't confront her in the moment because I thought I would say things I'd regret. Later on, I figured I would speak to her one-on-one but her shift was over and she already left for the night.

    Twelve hours later and I'm still upset with that comment. I would like to report it but I'm hesitant. I don't want to come off as "that" person. I don't want to go to H.R. but I was thinking of e-mailing her manager.

    Just advice on how to go about the situation. Do I e-mail my manager? E-mail her manager and C.C. my manager?

    Any thoughts are appreciated.
    It's hard to say for sure without knowing what the actual comment was, although you're smart not to post it here.
    I tend to be a fan of direct communication, myself. And even though I favor direct communication, I realize that not every thought in my head needs to come out and not everything that offends me needs to become a work issue. If there's someone around whose views I find difficult to tolerate, I keep things very light and work related when I talk to them.
    You definitely don't want to be "that" person who starts "emailing the manager" about other employees. Those people always become well known to everyone, although they rarely seem to realize how infamous they are.
  8. by   AnnieOaklyRN
    You will definitely not gain any fans by going directly to HR or her manager or yours. Take her aside next time you see her and let her know how you felt.

    I also think people are way to easily offended these days, it is getting ridiculous!!

    Annie
  9. by   beekee
    I wouldn't write someone about a comment they made, especially not before I spoke to them about it. Perhaps you misinterpreted what they said. Maybe they were having a bad bad and were just venting. Doesn't excuse it, but if you generally get along with this person, it's probably best to say something to them about it privately and move on (with the caveat that I don't know what was said).

    Plus, I find write ups tend to create a miserable work environment. You write them up and they retaliate and write you up. Unless a patient's safety is at risk, I'd probably let it go. Your manager has no interest in getting in the middle of coworker drama, so be sure this is something you really need your manager to intervene in before you approach him/her.
  10. by   Daisy4RN
    Quote from AnnieOaklyRN
    You will definitely not gain any fans by going directly to HR or her manager or yours. Take her aside next time you see her and let her know how you felt.

    I also think people are way to easily offended these days, it is getting ridiculous!!

    Annie
    I agree in principal (not this case cuz we don't know what was said) that people are way too easily offended, didn't anyone ever tell them to suck it up and move on!
  11. by   nursel56
    Definitely talk to the unit clerk first. I would approach it as a possible misunderstanding situation and gauge any further actions based on the unit clerk's response. I've found it much harder to move past stormy waters like this when third parties are involved.

    Sometimes you have no choice, but reporting the comment would not be my first course of action.
    Last edit by nursel56 on Aug 18 : Reason: hopefully add clarity
  12. by   JKL33
    Aside from serious patient safety issues or egregious ethical breaches I think nurses reporting each other is one of the stupidest things we can get involved in.

    Concentrate on patients, forget the rest.
  13. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    Yeah talk to the offending party first for goodness sake.

    This tattletale culture and never speaking one on one with a "wrongdoer" has got to end. It makes us look like squabbling, cowardly children. No wonder nurses are treated like we are
  14. by   RNNPICU
    Both of you are professionals. It is professional courtesy to address an issue first with the person who made the comment. Since we do not know what was said, it is hard to tell what your course of action should be. However, you should talk with the person who made the comment. You could start off by saying... "The other night when I came to borrow "X" piece of equipment, I interpreted your saying as this. " Wait for response. "This comment made me feel ______"
    Wait for response.

    Depending on the response is how you could procede.
    If you just go to her manager, it could easily turn in to a he said she said type incident. Maybe the unit clerk took your questioning to be offensive or harsh as well. It could very easily be a misunderstanding on both ends.

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