Please hear me out. Anyone! No one seems to give a rip.

Nurses General Nursing

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I really don't know what to do here.

Here I sit, sick as a dog, and wondering what the heck went on at work tonight.

It all started last night. Me and my friend (another CNA) fairly new to the facility, and not much older than myself, were schedualed til 3:am. The whole 3-11 shift I had the charge nurse from hell asking ridiculous things of me. I started coming down with slight cold symptoms. I didn't feel great, but I felt that I could still go through with the twlve hours. Another aide who had 14 some yearrs there was working a double, offered to pull a 20 hour shift and cover my last 4. I was appriciative of the offer but I turned it down 5 different times not wanting some one to overwork themselves 20 hours. Anyway the other aide whom I am good friends with, who was staying a 12 also gets to talking with some of her friends, and then had the double shift aide cover her last 4. Ant the EVE/NOC shift change I was starting to feel very sick, and overworked. I had a fever of 100.8. I could hardly hold my head up. WEll my friend CNA lets just call her L. Was sitting in a car with one of her male friends in the back of the facility. The one going on 20 hours (lets call her J) said "Ask L if she'll stay for you." By this time I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I approached her at the car and said "Will you PLEASE work my last four?"

She was all like "No."

"I said "Please L I am so darn sick."

"No, you know why . . . " Meaning the "Super fun" Plans that she had made.

Knowing that she knew I Would not leave her hanging like that, it kind of made me mad."

I wanted to walk away before I said anything stupid, so I just said "Whatever." And went back in.

WEll tonight was another night from hell. I should have called in because Of the skyrocketing temp, and lack of sleep. I finally dosed off at 7 am , and by the time I came to my senses it was too later to call in. I was too busy all shift to even talk to L. Infact I never saw her until shift change. I asked her how her hall went. "Don't you even asked me that!" I sat down next to her and asked her what was wrong. "Like you don't know, I don't even want you around me!"

The nice nurse over heard her speaking to me that way. And me asking her what her problem was. Lets call her (M) said that she will midiate with us after report. I thought it was kind of silly, but M is a strong girl , and after a few minutes I realized that L wanted to kick my butt . . . seriously. anyway, we got outside, she started screaming at me about how I said Whatever to her. I was explaining that I was ill, and was not in the best of all moods. With a fake smile, she looked at M and said okay, no more problems, I siad the same. After M went back in I said "I'm sorry L. I didn't know that you took it that way."

She just said don't ever talk to me again. It ended there. But she is the type of person to hold grudges and do bad things to people she hates. The sad thing is we work so well together, and we were becoming good friends. I should not have been the one appologising, but we had a special friendship, and I don't want to throw that away. Thanks for listning

Specializes in Home Health Care,LTC.
You may have thought you had a friend, but when the poop hit the fan and you needed her she selfishly went out to play and couldn't understand when you apologized.

She's no friend. Consider yourself lucky you found out. She burned her bridges, sooner or later she's going to know what it feels like to really need a friend and she won't have one because she wasn't one.

You apologized, whether or not you "should have" is beside the point because it takes a better person to apologize and move on. So rise above it.

She's only displacing, because she knows you should be mad at her, so if she gets mad at you instead, it lets her off the hook, and eases her guilt.

I'm sorry she hurt you. Good luck.

Have to agree with Tweety very well put.

Angie.

PS I also hope she dosen't do anything to you but don't be afraid to report her to your supervisor is she does something @ work.

Isn't the description of someone like this....sociopath? They honestly do not care about anyone but themselves.

If you give into her now, offering apoligies and trying to mend the friendship, she will now know she can walk all over you and treat you like crap. Don't take it.

I have known people like this, they are complete haters and very immature. Do not talk to her again other than work related activities. If she is like this, then it will only end up burning you again.

Rebecca

ok......lemme see if I've got this right...

she wouldn't cover for you for 4 hours when you were sick..you said 'whatever'..she got pissed..you appologized..she's still pissed......I'm still trying to see the 'friendship' here and why you are letting her get to you...gotta agree with PhoenixGirl, don't let her walk all over you...!@#$ me once shame on you !@#$ me twice shame on ME.

Welcome to the real world, we are heatlthcare workers, but human, some evil, always go to a supervisor/charge nurse with a situation such as yours at the very onset, that is their job to protect the parient and you, now it is time to inform a nurse who is responsible for the floor and the patients of this entire situation, keep it confidential, this is to insure, you don't get bit by retalliation, which could very well end your career, remember allways motivate your actions to protect the patient. Good Luck.

Sounds a bit like someone with borderline personality disorder to me: they can make friends fast and then treat 'em like dirt.

NurseFirst

Isn't the description of someone like this....sociopath? They honestly do not care about anyone but themselves.

If you give into her now, offering apoligies and trying to mend the friendship, she will now know she can walk all over you and treat you like crap. Don't take it.

I have known people like this, they are complete haters and very immature. Do not talk to her again other than work related activities. If she is like this, then it will only end up burning you again.

Rebecca

Specializes in ICU, CCU, Trauma, neuro, Geriatrics.

Ok and where is the employer? You are truly ill and still working? Where I work staffing is such that if one or two people call off we can just deal with it. And since there isnt a lot of overtime anymore, someone is usually happy to fill in. Why didn't you go to the supervisor and say you are sick? How many patients are now sick from you spreading whatever you had?

As far as the friend goes, hey its your shift and she didn't want to cover it. She could be a bit more mature about how she relates that but still, it wasn't her responsibility.

Trying to figure out what went wrong is a good thing, this will help you when you become an RN. You will be responsible for a lot more and will have to make decisions and mediate when there are disagreements.

Specializes in Mostly LTC, some acute and some ER,.

Thank you everyone for your insight.

I saw her last night when I went to one of my prereque classes. She came up to me and told me how sorry she was, and told me that she was having the night from hell the night she went off on me as well as I was. She sounded quite sincere, and told me that she didn't know why she did it. So, Should I trust her

:S

ty

Thank you everyone for your insight.

I saw her last night when I went to one of my prereque classes. She came up to me and told me how sorry she was, and told me that she was having the night from hell the night she went off on me as well as I was. She sounded quite sincere, and told me that she didn't know why she did it. So, Should I trust her

:S

ty

i would would forgive... but don't forget, and be cautious, she sounds like a powder keg taht can go off at any time and whoever is around is caught in her explosion. Be nice but steer clear as much as possible.

Thank you everyone for your insight.

I saw her last night when I went to one of my prereque classes. She came up to me and told me how sorry she was, and told me that she was having the night from hell the night she went off on me as well as I was. She sounded quite sincere, and told me that she didn't know why she did it. So, Should I trust her

:S

ty

I can only tell you what I would do. I'd stay civil, but I wouldn't go any deeper than that. And lord knows I'd never ask her for a favor again for fear she might go ballistic on me! Honestly, she sounds a little off, one of those people who tests to see how bad they can treat you. I can say one thing, I'd never treat a co-worker like that. If I couldn't stay the extra 4 hours, I would apologize and feel bad, but I would tell the truth. I sure as hell wouldn't get mad at the person asking me for a favor!

Rebecca

Trust is earned over time, move on. Good luck. withwolves

I really don't know what to do here.

Here I sit, sick as a dog, and wondering what the heck went on at work tonight.

It all started last night. Me and my friend (another CNA) fairly new to the facility, and not much older than myself, were schedualed til 3:am. The whole 3-11 shift I had the charge nurse from hell asking ridiculous things of me. I started coming down with slight cold symptoms. I didn't feel great, but I felt that I could still go through with the twlve hours. Another aide who had 14 some yearrs there was working a double, offered to pull a 20 hour shift and cover my last 4. I was appriciative of the offer but I turned it down 5 different times not wanting some one to overwork themselves 20 hours. Anyway the other aide whom I am good friends with, who was staying a 12 also gets to talking with some of her friends, and then had the double shift aide cover her last 4. Ant the EVE/NOC shift change I was starting to feel very sick, and overworked. I had a fever of 100.8. I could hardly hold my head up. WEll my friend CNA lets just call her L. Was sitting in a car with one of her male friends in the back of the facility. The one going on 20 hours (lets call her J) said "Ask L if she'll stay for you." By this time I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I approached her at the car and said "Will you PLEASE work my last four?"

She was all like "No."

"I said "Please L I am so darn sick."

"No, you know why . . . " Meaning the "Super fun" Plans that she had made.

Knowing that she knew I Would not leave her hanging like that, it kind of made me mad."

I wanted to walk away before I said anything stupid, so I just said "Whatever." And went back in.

WEll tonight was another night from hell. I should have called in because Of the skyrocketing temp, and lack of sleep. I finally dosed off at 7 am , and by the time I came to my senses it was too later to call in. I was too busy all shift to even talk to L. Infact I never saw her until shift change. I asked her how her hall went. "Don't you even asked me that!" I sat down next to her and asked her what was wrong. "Like you don't know, I don't even want you around me!"

The nice nurse over heard her speaking to me that way. And me asking her what her problem was. Lets call her (M) said that she will midiate with us after report. I thought it was kind of silly, but M is a strong girl , and after a few minutes I realized that L wanted to kick my butt . . . seriously. anyway, we got outside, she started screaming at me about how I said Whatever to her. I was explaining that I was ill, and was not in the best of all moods. With a fake smile, she looked at M and said okay, no more problems, I siad the same. After M went back in I said "I'm sorry L. I didn't know that you took it that way."

She just said don't ever talk to me again. It ended there. But she is the type of person to hold grudges and do bad things to people she hates. The sad thing is we work so well together, and we were becoming good friends. I should not have been the one appologising, but we had a special friendship, and I don't want to throw that away. Thanks for listning

Excuse my blunt comment but you both need to GROW UP. Concentrate on getting a life and act in a somewhat professional manner. It is stories like this that demean the role of a CNA. When aides write in that no one respects them, is it any wonder after reading your post? NO one (nurse, CNA or otherwise) should have to "mediate" two working adults. There are people to care for and if you're outside in the parking lot, in a car, who the heck is caring for your residents?

Thank you everyone for your insight.

I saw her last night when I went to one of my prereque classes. She came up to me and told me how sorry she was, and told me that she was having the night from hell the night she went off on me as well as I was. She sounded quite sincere, and told me that she didn't know why she did it. So, Should I trust her

:S

ty

Life happens...stuff happens... You felt she was a friend in the beginning, then she "stiffed" you. Now she is trying to be a friend again and apologized, which you feel was sincere...my advice would be to accept the apology. But remember, once a trust has been broken, it takes time to truly trust again. Do not give that trust again until it has been earned...takes time if it does happen again. A true friend knows that and will understand.

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