Patients Treat Nurses Like Garbage!

[lisa41rn]

I don't know what it is. Last week I had five patients one day, all were demanding and miserable. This week I had another group of miserable demanding patients. I happen to see nurses who speak rudely to patients and my thought has always been that the patients pay a fortune for their care and deserve a caring, nice and knowledgeable nurse. I'm starting to think otherwise and see why so many nurses speak up to the patients. In the past, I've nearly always taken a difficult patient and could bring out the best in them. My recent patients are just so rude. I'm the first to have the common sense to realize their illnesses are often new and anxiety can bring out the worst in people. Regardless, it doesn't give them the right to treat those caring for them the most, like garbage. I'm fortunate that I don't need to work and really wonder if I want to go to work, a job I once loved, to be treated terribly. I know many nurses I work with, who are honest, admit they would love to leave and do something different, but often don't have any other options but to be a nurse. How do you all deal with your rude patients??

[GrnHonu99, RN]

All Of You Have All Made Such Great Points! We Are All Trained Professionals That Have Gone To College. We Get It From All Directions. The Patients, Doctors, And Upper Management. The Hospital I Work At Has Started This Patient Satisfaction Drive.

There Is A Person That Goes To Each Patient And Finds Out What They Like And Don't Like About Their Stay And How They Are Being Cared For. So We Get Told Weekly How Well Were Doing And How Much We Suck!

Upper Management Has No Idea What We Go Thorugh In A Day And They Don't Consider The Source ( The Patient). Our Patinet Satisfaction Scores Were Actually Up And We Got

A Cake. I Wonder What Kind Of Bonus Management Got?[/quote

A cake, a cake. So typical! When our unit was overflowing, no beds at all and no extra nurses available. Our DON actually suggested that we put a labor patients into each of 2 of our 3 ORs. I suggested that we consult with infection control before we did this and then reminded her that we had no fetal monitoring in the OR. She suggested portable monitors and I responded with find me some because I don't have a clue. When I asked if we could move some of the patients up to antepartum she said no, only one nurse on antepartum. As charge I already knew that. Our satisfaction scores: 99%. We got cold sandwiches. You know, my question about management bonus was the same as yours. I love my job but really, the MDs treat us with more respect than management.:angryfire

You guys got CAKE??????????????? We got donoughts for our 100% in patient satisfaction! I really felt like i was at a sales meeting this morning when our DON says....you guys are so great, what are our two R's??? return and reccomendation..blah blah...sorry i thought i was here to care for the pt. not suck up to them and play the customer service game. Quite a few times my pts are not happy with me but, you know things sometimes have to be done a certain way, even if it doesnt please the pt....

seriously...what is it going to come to..the pt. doesn't get what the pt. wants so oh..well we will just call the house manager and maybe we will get a discount on our bill...give me a break..this isnt Red Lobster!!!!!!!!!!!

I had families say to me in disgust how unfair it is that we dont accomadate the families with a place to stay...OMG do you know what our hospital would be like if we housed all the pts families in the hospital!???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont even want to think about it. Or the pts. who felt it necc. to call the head of the cafeteria service to complain that their meal didnt get to them in time and that they didnt like the food...again..this isnt the hilton people.

[lisa41rn]

To everyone!! Thanks so much for you incredible responses. This clearly is a tough problem. I never expected such responses. Nurses, we really need to stick together. I just can't imagaine what the future holds. I see nurses becoming more and more depressed and frustrated each week lately. Are we looking at self-service hospital care in the future???!!! There won't be any nurses left to take care of anyone! Things need to change!! Thanks again....I really feel like I'm not alone with this one!

[lamazeteacher]

You guys got CAKE??????????????? We got donoughts for our 100% in patient satisfaction! I really felt like i was at a sales meeting this morning when our DON says....you guys are so great, what are our two R's??? return and reccomendation..blah blah...sorry i thought i was here to care for the pt. not suck up to them and play the customer service game. Quite a few times my pts are not happy with me but, you know things sometimes have to be done a certain way, even if it doesnt please the pt....

seriously...what is it going to come to..the pt. doesn't get what the pt. wants so oh..well we will just call the house manager and maybe we will get a discount on our bill...give me a break..this isnt Red Lobster!!!!!!!!!!!

I had families say to me in disgust how unfair it is that we dont accomadate the families with a place to stay...OMG do you know what our hospital would be like if we housed all the pts families in the hospital!???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont even want to think about it. Or the pts. who felt it necc. to call the head of the cafeteria service to complain that their meal didnt get to them in time and that they didnt like the food...again..this isnt the hilton people.

___________________________________________________________

I think it's important to accommodate patients' wishes about better food and having their families close by. I'm surprised to see that there's still divergence in thinking about this. In Egypt no food is provided patients, and families bring it, coming in droves as if it was a party.

We all agree that hospital care needs to respondto patients' needs right? What is not agreed, is what it is that constitutes a need.......If a patient can eat, it's better that they do that, right? But if the food is unappetizing, unappealing, and not according to patients' individual choice - why isn't a nutritionist/dietician coming to the bedside? Better still, why aren't we doing what we've been taught - writing on the menu strip, what the patient says they'd eat? From steak to custard.

I worked a year ago in a small acute care hospital that had a policy that patients should eat what they want, when they're hungry. So patients picked up the 'phone, called the kitchen and placed their order,

(speaking to folks who spoke in a language they understood) stating how hungry they were, so large portions didn't appear that took their appetite away. Special dietary needs were met as challenges, and were especially tasty. The cook was a chef from a popular gourmet restaurant....

What makes us think patients don't deserve the best? That attitude can spring back at you!

About accommodating families overnight........ You know the chairs for partners in OB? They recline for sleep, and should not be limited to OB.

The patient will sleep better with an appropriate loved one near by, and you won't have to answer a call requesting a sip of water.......

I did my Pediatric affililation Montreal back in 1958, and families were encouraged to stay with their kids overnight. There was less screaming, fewer phone calls from anxious families, and healing was faster (according to annecdotal research of that period). When I visited Toronto from California in 1968 with my 2 year old who contracted a (?) coccacci infection and had malabsorption syndrome, the highly recommended pediatrician there didn't believe me when I said I was concerned about dehydration, as she wasn't drinking, and had D&V. He said bombastically, "no 2 year old gets dehydrated!" I informed him that I was a R.N. who knew otherwise (dumb move), and eventually she lost consciousness at my parents' home, and I raced to the "Hospital For Sick Children's" ER with her. I told the Nurses that I preferred to stay with her during insertion of the IV, and I was told "she'll never forgive you!" I assisted immobilizing her, distracting her from the procedure.

No accommodation for family (not even a straight chair) was in her room, so I sat on the floor and stayed with her over night. In a day she was tolerating fluids and semisolid food well, and I wanted to take her home. I was told that the aforementioned Pediatrition wouldn't allow it (he had not shown yet), so I said he was not her regular physician and signed her out AMA.

There can be vast differences in philosophies of hospitals with different objectives. Sometimes families just have to run interference for patients, especially when they need a simply provided something at shift change. It takes explanations and precautions, but it's worth it.

I've always encouraged one or 2 family members to be with patients, unless they were detrimental, increasing the patient's anxiety (we've all seen that), but most of them are grateful and useful. They become part of the team, and rapport is built with mutual respect.:welcome:

[Scrubby]

Interesting discussion. Heres my two cents worth:

I really feel that as nurses we let each other down a lot. When i worked in the ward environment i saw so many nurses stressed out and in tears because of difficult patients. The behavior continued because no one dealt with it. if you want to be treated with respect then you need to stick up for yourself and the nursing profession. We are worthy of respect and we are not in the profession to be someone else's punching bag.

If a patient speaks down to me i let them know that they are being inappropriate and not prepared to put up with it. My advice here is to stop just putting up with it and do something about it. You don't have to be rude to the patient and snap at them because that's not professional.

[scooterRN52]

I work in ahospital that does satisfaction drives for pts. and it is incredible what the public expects. We are hospitals not hotels, we have pts. staying with family members and it really is out of hand!!

[frail316]

Just think of it like how kids sometimes have potty training regression. And also think of the saying "the customer is always right". Yea I know it sucks and we can't always put up an emotional wall so that we can avoid taking things personally, but we're all human beings right? Nurses will never escape your situation until they find their own special way of dealing with it. Did you ever try arguing with a child? Its pointless. All of your mean patients have regressed into children, which means the only way to handle things is with a rational attitude. They thew out any sense of compassion coming their way out the window once they've crossed a line. So, just picture these difficult people like snotty little kids that need to be taken care of. (not saying you should put them in their place) They obviously don't need to be pampered, but it might even be a bit funny if you act like they should be pampered like a little baby even. "Are you ok? Something more pressing seems to be bothering you? You sound frustrated. Tell me what you're feeling right now." (not saying you should push sarcasm beyond professionalism, but therapeutic communication never feels better than this when you're belittling them, JK!) Here's what always worked for me: smile and laugh it off when you leave the room. If you can do just that, then you won. Everything thereafter is just a continual embarrassment of themselves. I hope this makes some sense. SMILE!!! if you can't then SMIRK at least.

[KungFuFtr]

I posted this in the male nurse forum under the title "Nurse Story" but here goes.

A while back at the hospital where I work, there was a middle-aged male patient who was harassing nurses. Grabbing their behinds, pulling their tops our so he could look down them, that kind of thing. The floor decided to assign all male nurses to him, which only made things worse since he made derogatory assumptions about their sexuality.

They brought in a 6'8", 400 pound male nurse from another floor. He walked in, introduced himself, and said, "We don't harass the nurses in this hospital."

Problem solved.

Thing was, he couldn't have been that sick if he was capable of doing things like that (JMHO).

Did anyone file assault charges on the guy?

[1nugrad]

I have always said ," Nursing is the biggest acting gig of my life some times" dealing with people and there demands can be very taxing I know , But I always , always tell my self , they are trying to have some sort of control , they are being proactive in there care.! You have to look at it in there perspective and really get to know the patient as hard as it may seem at times , they are in pain , are hungry or plain old tired , I know I am bear when my basic needs are not met right away. And I have noticed with the past decade of pharmaceutical commercials that people and families seem to think they know what the cure all is and dont want to listen to the real reason that drug wont work for them , So I will sit with them and really listen and tell them what the reasons are , I know we dont always have time to deal with these things and get to the bottom of why someone is difficult but believe me when I say "if they are pain free and comfortable , so am I "Itas true your day will be so much tolerable!

[jackson145]

Just look at these PITA's as customers. Any profession you work in will deal with them. I cringe whenever I hear someone giving the poor person behind the counter at McDonalds a hard way to go. Even if you own your own business you still have to deal with nasty "customers". I'm crossing my fingers that I win the lottery and then I won't have to be nice to someone who is a jerk just to keep my job. Kidding!

[Maedele]

I have always said ," Nursing is the biggest acting gig of my life some times" dealing with people and there demands can be very taxing I know , But I always , always tell my self , they are trying to have some sort of control , they are being proactive in there care.! You have to look at it in there perspective and really get to know the patient as hard as it may seem at times , they are in pain , are hungry or plain old tired , I know I am bear when my basic needs are not met right away. And I have noticed with the past decade of pharmaceutical commercials that people and families seem to think they know what the cure all is and dont want to listen to the real reason that drug wont work for them , So I will sit with them and really listen and tell them what the reasons are , I know we dont always have time to deal with these things and get to the bottom of why someone is difficult but believe me when I say "if they are pain free and comfortable , so am I "Itas true your day will be so much tolerable!

Thank you for saying that, I so agree with you. It is not always easy dealing with difficult patients but often depends on how one responds to them. If I ever have be patient in a hospital I hope to have nurses with your inside assigned to me.