Patients soliciting your contribution to their charity

[Happy2CU]

I've never encountered a situation like this before and was wondering how other folks would handle it.

I work in an outpatient dialysis facility in the home division, specifically P.D. We deal with the same patients and we all do become comfortable with each other.

Yesterday I was speaking with a patient's spouse on the phone and she mentioned that she was assisting her relative in collecting money for a charity which shall remain nameless. She went on to talk about the work of the charity and how funds were being raised to send children in war ravaged areas to camp. She then asked me if I would make a donation. I was a bit taken aback, but said that I would be happy to. I figured that the next time I saw them for montly labs I would give her $10.00 towards the charity. She then asked me if I had a pen and paper so she could give me the name and address to send the contribution to.... she mentioned that I should also send along with a note stating that I was Mr. (her husband's name)'s nurse. She then stated that the cost was $75.00 to send a child to camp. It sounded to me like that was the "recommended" donation. While the charity is a worthwhile one and I would be happy to support it, I certainly can't afford $75.00. I suppose I'll just contribute the $10.00 that I was originally thinking of donating. Hopefully I won't look "cheap"....but $75.00 is just not in my budget, especially for something that is not a charity of my choice. How do you handle contribution solicitations from patients? I kind of felt a bit railroaded here. I should mention that I do like this lady and her husband a lot and certainly wouldn't want to offend them. Thanks for your thoughts.

[Quickbeam, BSN, RN]

I've had numerous pushy patients, co-workers and family members try and arm twist me for their charities. I always say: "my family already has a group of charities we have agreed upon to include in our giving." And thank you anyway, etc. After that, I don't even acknowledge futher attempts to get me involved.

I have a cousin whose child has the same joint disease I have. I live 1500 miles away and support that disease's organization in my state. She sent me a dozen e-mails and called me numerous times to try and get me to support her kid's chapter. I finally let them go unanswered.

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

I guess this depends on the perspective - but I would feel offended and not really worry if I offended them. Next time when a similar conversation starts, interrupt with "I know this is a worthy cause but I am not interested just now". Then change the subject. How would they feel if YOU solicited from them? I am sure it is unethical for you to do it, so the reverse ought to be true IMHO.

[scribblerpnp]

I have the same trouble. In private practice (as is the same in your situation I'm sure), you have such constant close contact with families, that they feel they CAN ask you for money.

I have found that the best response is to say something along the lines of, "Your charity sounds wonderful, but unfortunately, at the beginning of every year our family decides to give so much money to charity, and right now we have already distributed that money to our chosen charities." Unless they are catching you on Jan 1st, this response works well.

Don't worry about offending. So long are you are polite, I'm sure most REASONABLE people would understand.

[RN1989]

I tell people "Thank you for the opportunity to donate. I understand that you have a passion for this charity just as I have a passion for the charities that are special to me. Like you, I cannot provide support for every charity and thus I am unable to donate to any more organizations."

[Happy2CU]

Thanks to everyone for the responses. I'll feel more comfortable (and confident) next time a similar situation occurs, declining. I truly was taken aback. Since I did say that I would contribute, I will send off the $10.00 that was my original thought with my good wishes for the cause.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

as others have said, i don't think i'd feel real badly about telling that patient and his/her spouse that my budget would not allow me to contribute to their favorite charity at this time. end of discussion. i wouldn't attempt to solicit from my patients, i'd be a bit put out if they were trying to solicit from me!

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

I would not feel a trace of guilt. To me, this is yet, another situation where some people (not all) believe that nurses are totally giving 100% of their time and money. I will give the best that I can when I am available at the job site, but my money is my money. I would say something similar to what the other posters mentioned to save their dignity, but that is it.