Patients boyfriend gets naked - page 2

So I'm working noc shift on a surgical floor and I'm caring for a 19 year old woman who had had neck surgery the day before. Her boyfriend comes to the floor to visit around 4 am which I felt was a... Read More

  1. by   morte
    i would wonder if in the OP this would have been MEDICALLY contraindicated? I would have been tempted to interupt on those grounds and tell them to get the ok from surgeon before trying that again....
    the older gent with the wife in nursing home, yup, abuse....had a case years ago,(working agency) the kids insisted that parents be in same room even though they knew that dad was abusive (not in this way, hitting) mom had had a stroke didnt want him there, the kids wishes were honored!!!!
    they tried to keep an eye on them, and did catch him at least once....luckily the bastard died first...
  2. by   Silverdragon102
    Quote from caliotter3
    As a CNA, I worked at a LTC facility where I was told that a man would come in occasionally and rape his wife. She had a stroke and was paralyzed and could not speak, but her eyes told everything a person needed to know. The tears would flow after her husband left. There were 3 other residents in the room. They had to put up with this. He would close the door and pull the curtain around her area. The nurses would act like "see no evil, hear no evil, etc." but they could certainly talk about it. A few years later, guess who ended up as a resident in the same facility? I actually heard some of the nurses stating what they had in store for him and what kind of care he was (was not) getting. They were being vicious about it and said he deserved every bit of what he was getting. At least the poor soul, that was his wife, did not have to endure his "husbandly" rapes any longer. He could not get to her room.
    have to agree with previous poster, this is disgusting especially if they knew something was wrong.... where is the advocate for the patient and her rights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. by   NurseLatteDNP
    Quote from Silverdragon102
    have to agree with previous poster, this is disgusting especially if they knew something was wrong.... where is the advocate for the patient and her rights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I agree with this, but how could they ever prove thet he was actually raping her?
  4. by   nursebrandie28
    [font=fixedsys] i dont mean to be a prude or a mean nurse, but if they are well enough to get it on, they well are enough to go home!!!

    my only exception is dying patients.....otherwise i would throw them out!!!

    that is disgusting and not mention all those germs floating around!!!!

  5. by   traumaRUs
    I have to apologize - freudian slip guys - changed it to "waiting" as it should have read - lol.
  6. by   NightOwl0624
    Just curious - what was the freudian slip for those of us reading after the edit?
  7. by   Bridget O'Malley
    It's rape because she couldn't give her consent. Believe it or not, it's not the husband's right to force his wife to have sex with him just because they're married. And she was raped repeatedly in this facility? I wouldn't tell this to very many people if I were you.

    Walking in on patient/visitor sex has happened to me too. The hospital is considered a public place and couples who have sex with a roommate or child in the room are commmitted acts of public indecency and can be charged for this. It's the same as if they were having sex in the vegetable aisle at a store. One time I told the doctor and he said if the patient felt well enough to have sex, she was well enough to go home and that patient was discharged immediately. I guess her post-op tonsil pain wasn't so bad after all. Our hospital also has a policy against having visitors in bed with a patient unless it's a sick child. A nurse or CNA can't attend to a patient's needs if the bed is overcrowded.

    I know nursing homes are considered resendential and the same rules don't apply.

    BTW, this has happened to me three times and I was never embarrassed by it. I think some couples get a charge out of public sex and the more you react, the more they enjoy it. I was infuriated when the above-mentioned post-op tonsil pain was fondling her boyfriend in front of the young nurse of Pentecostal faith. I really believe they saw her long skirt and cross and thought it would be fun to behave this way to shock an obviously religious nurse.
  8. by   GardenDove
    Quote from hogan4736
    If underage...Do something...

    If both are of age...Turn around, walk away, close the door, and chart what you saw...
    I'm not sure if I agree with this. I don't think having sex is appropriate in the hospital. There has to be some limits to tolerance, we nurses shouldn't have to walk in on people having sex, imo.
  9. by   RunnerRN
    I more or less feel like Brandie (but I'm also an ED nurse)....if you are well enough to have sex in the exam room, then you are well enough to go home. I don't care if (once admitted) you get it on if in a private room, but not when there's a roomie in the room too. Long term inpt stays can wreak havoc on a relationship, and I'm sure being intimate can be a comfort to ill people. But 19 yrs old with a 2 day stay for surgery? Give me a break.
  10. by   GardenDove
    When I worked LTC, there was an elderly man who was a resident, and his elderly wife was extremely devoted and was there every day (ordering staff around quite a bit). This man had had that surgery, probably after prostate surgery, which made his penis permanently erect. I was told that she used to get in bed with him for sessions, never witnessed it myself.
  11. by   rn undisclosed name
    Quote from chudder
    Call security... seriously? When my ex-girlfriend was in the hospital, her nurse encouraged me to sleep in bed with her. My ex asked her about patients having sex and the nurse said there were no grounds to judge them on it as long as the room was not shared by another patient. Are there guidelines on this? Honestly, I could see sex being a really good idea for some patients.
    You're kidding, right? I fail to see this. Now we are talking about patients so I will just assume these are people in the hospital and not LTC. You don't have well people in the hospital anymore. I have never heard of someone dying before they got home because they couldn't have sex while in the hospital. I can think of many cases where it is contraindicated even after you get home.

    I agree this shouldn't be done in the hospital. If the patients expect the healthcare providers to be respectful to them they should have the decency to be respectful to them.
  12. by   Silverdragon102
    Quote from kiyatylese
    I agree with this, but how could they ever prove thet he was actually raping her?
    You would have thought the others in the room would have said something and also the fact she would always be upset after he left should indicate something was wrong. The poster did say that there was 3 others sharing the room
  13. by   madwife2002
    I can remember being in the Uk when curtains seperated beds in a long ward and having to ask a couple to leave I was so embarrassed. They didnt care how much noise they made-they asked me to close the curtains behind me