Nurses with children always go home early?

[Agatha12]

I know it is controversial topic. First I explain myself a bit. I would like to have children at some point but I dont have them at the moment as I deal with some health issues and I havent met right partner to be father.

Now main problem. Why staff with children always think that will have priority to go home on time and will refuse to stay longer if required only because they have kids? Childless staff also have plans, responsibilities or simple would like to have time to cook for a next day.

I believe some fair system should be in place. Once mothers go home early, on other occasion they stay longer and single people enjoy their time. Any thoughts? Am I wrong to think so?

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Sorry no! YOU decided to have kids and it is YOUR responsibility to make arrangements to take care of them and have back up plans for your back up plans. YOUR children have no right to impact MY life no matter what my life entails. If your job does not meet your needs then it is up to you to find one that does. It is not up to your single co-workers to re-schedule their lives around YOUR kids. It. Just. Isn't.

That being said, I never have a problem picking up the slack for someone who has to care for their sick child. I feel for both. Unless it becomes a pattern like every Friday, Monday or day before a holiday.

Well said, and thanks.

[pixierose, BSN, RN]

I am a mom to 3 kids and a nurse who works full time 12hr nights. My husband and I have always juggled the kids between us with little to no help from family, babysitters, or daycare providers. Our schedules have allowed this for some years now and yet I have never used the fact that I am a mom give me any special favors at work to go home early. That said, my family and kids would have to be priority if it came down to it over work. And as some one else said, going home to take care of small humans that depend on you for everything is quite a bit different than some one with no kids who has an urgent friend date or shopping trip planned. Sorry, but those things can be re-worked or rescheduled. You can't reschedule watching kids when there is no other to watch them. In fact, often as moms, we sacrifice sleep and our own wellbeing for the sake of our children. Not to say that the other things that are scheduled for single/no-kid people are not important, but the magnitude of importance is just not even on the same scale.

But it's not up to you to determine "magnitude of importance." This post sounds reminiscent of my coworker who can't work the holidays because she has a 2-year-old and another on the way. She views that age as precious; my teens in her eyes or my mom with cancer pretty much colors her view of "magnitude" and she sees her role as a mom to a little one more important than my role as a daughter or mom to teens.

In fact, it's none of her damn business WHY I wanted xmas off. Just like it's none of my business why my childless coworker wants to get out on time. My choice of being a parent doesn't trump over someone's yoga class, or dinner out with a friend.

[Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN]

To me it was always a matter of context and the "situational expectation".

If the "nurse moms" (never had a nurse dad invoke that issue that I recall) expected an accommodation on a routine basis and it was a minor issue, prolly no big deal. Gives quick report to 1st arriving nurse that could take their assignment as long as everyone was cool with it, whatever.

If they expected not to EVER have take late flight (patient/ambo/admit) cause they MUST always leave on time, cause, you know KIDS, yeah that's a going be a problem.

It's about whether it's an outlier or expectation. Also, about maybe how the work is divided. If I'm in the ER and the mom squad slowed down taking patients at 1700 (on a 1900 shift end) to clear their beds, while I'm always full & hopping with little help, I might get resentful real quick. There would be realignment of expectations.

As for holidays. I never minded working Christmas am/even part of the Eve - I'd often go in at 2000 on the Eve till Noon (maybe 1300) on Christmas Day (16ish hours). I'm out for 2 days after. Also I don't mind New Years Eve/Day. I want Thanksgiving off. Generally the day before (flight) and if in the ER (the day after) cause it's a hellmouth of awful. Now, if the moms want Christmas at home, I have lots of takers when I was in the ED. Flight, I always just volunteered for Christmas (went in after midnight on the eve, or offer to depending on next day's need) and off Tgiving. Open for NYE/Day (or whatever). Flight never a problem. Staff was occasionally an issue.

Oh, and I had one Nurse Manager toss me her keys as I arrived one day to total chaos and asked me to please leave go pick up her son (1/2 mile) as daycare was closing in 10 minutes. I was called in and it was almost a facility-wide disaster (badness!) and, well, desperate times. Plus, I knew the kiddo. I zipped and got him, called McD's to get grub ready to go for suffering ER staff (obsense # Cheeseburgers, fries) and was back with kiddo & yummies in 20 minutes. 4 year olds are cool as long as you are in mom's vehicle and get a Happy Meal, tho the number of questions were relentless. ER staff love cheeseburgers too!

It tends to balance out. The folks that take advantage only get to do it so long without a "correction".

:angel:

[CCUNURSE1]

I've worked the past 5 Christmas Eve's and Christmas days because my child is older and I was fortunate enough to be a stay at home home mom when my son was small. I am taking off Christmas Day this year because my college aged son is moving to another (out of state school this next semester) and you would think I was asking for the world to end! Excuse the lack of sympathy but, if you chose nursing (especially in a hospital setting), you know what you signed up for!!! Hospitals never close...and kids or not...everyone must take their turn!

[Dranger]

We self-schedule and had a lot of issues when we recently changed to set start times rather than variable consistently in the PACU. Daily scheduling was previously based solely on seniority. A lot of nurses with kids demanded priority because of their obligations at home which in and of itself isn't fair.....

I just pointed out that I had partying, Tinder dates and FWBs to attend to as well. In my mind they are just as important as a family. That went well at the staff meeting......hahaha

Late 20s single life in a big city ahhhhhhhhhh

[Mini2544, ASN, RN]

On a similar yet unrelated topic.. where is my tax credit for not having kids and adding to the population? I mean... CA is mulling over not charging certain property tax that goes to pay for public schools.. if they don't have kids themselves. It won't pass but what a grand idea.

[Munch]

Sorry no! YOU decided to have kids and it is YOUR responsibility to make arrangements to take care of them and have back up plans for your back up plans. YOUR children have no right to impact MY life no matter what my life entails. If your job does not meet your needs then it is up to you to find one that does. It is not up to your single co-workers to re-schedule their lives around YOUR kids. It. Just. Isn't.

That being said, I never have a problem picking up the slack for someone who has to care for their sick child. I feel for both. Unless it becomes a pattern like every Friday, Monday or day before a holiday.

THIS..couldn't have put it better myself. Your priorities are yours and mine are mine who's to say yours are more important than mine because you have children? Its not my problem you have to leave to tend to your children. Its you're choice to have children and I chose NOT to have children because its something I am not willing to commit myself to. You're children are more important than my plans because YOU say so and my plans can be rearranged? I'm sorry but you're children are not going to be my inconvenience...no matter how "unimportant" you find my reasons to be. But as I said in an earlier post if anyone needs to leave early for whatever reason I don't mind covering as long as the favor is returned and its not every other day and as long as my kindness and willingness doesn't get taken advantage of. It goes for anyone if they want to leave early to meet a friend or pick up a child from daycare.

[Racer15, BSN, RN]

I am single with no kids. BUT, my income helps support my sister, who is a single mom, and then obviously my nephew. Along with my brother to an extent. I work two jobs to make sure I'm not living paycheck to paycheck. So suck it haters.

[azhiker96, BSN, RN]

I guess I've been lucky. The places I have worked ensured holiday signups were fair. People could switch or try to find someone to take a shift if they liked. Going home early is tracked so that we share the wealth of a bonus day or half shift off.

I have seen people get off early to handle the unexpected; a sick child, sick pet, spouse in a car accident, water heater leak, etc. Other RNs pick up the slack because in general our coworkers are our friends. Also we would want similar consideration.

I did have one coworker who would frequently ask me to cover a call shift because her family included small kids. However, she would never cover a shift for me. After the second time she declined to cover a shift for me I stopped agreeing to cover her call shifts. One time she asked me why I couldn't cover her call shift and I said "I have plans." She accepted that but had she pressed for details she'd have heard my plans were to eat supper with my wife and get a good nights sleep.

[Shellaaay10x]

I try my best to leave on time to pick up my daughter from school. I'm lucky that my job allows me to do that.

[3ringnursing, BSN]

Having a child never prevented me from having to stay longer to finish my work, or if someone relieving me was delayed. My son is now 23, so different times, but no that never bought me a pass.

I do notice now (I work in a nonclinical nursing job) that since the boss has young kids that the nurses also with young children get more empathy then I did in years passed, but overall if you have work to do you stay to do it. Even if God is a dinner guest and is at your house waiting at your dinner table.

[Workitinurfava, BSN, RN]

It can go both ways and I think the NM gets caught in tough spots trying to hold onto employees.