Nurses/Students: How often do you cry?

[ToxicShock]

I am not yet a nurse (just a lil ol' pre-nursing student), but I am well aware of the emotional strain that many nurses experience.

Despite everything that you may do to help prevent burn out and depression, there has got to be times when you just break down. But how often? When do you find yourself crying the most? Do you ever cry in front of patients? With patients? Do your co-workers look down on you if you do? Do you see a therapist to deal with some of the really upsetting things, or do you try and handle it on your own?

Use this thread to share your experiences, and give advice to those that may be struggling. You can never have enough support! :)

[ChristineN, BSN, RN]

There have been times I've cried over pt's, and even at work. It doesn't happen often, certainly not daily or weekly, but there will be certain pts I get very attached to that I will cry over. If this happens, I'll often have me a good cry, vent to co-workers or someone, and then try to move on. It IS hard, but it does get easier.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I'm a fairly unemotional, hard-nosed person. Therefore, I don't cry over this job. Nursing is simply a livelihood to me, and nothing more.

I've cried twice. The first time was at the bedside of a favorite patient who was actively dying, and the second time was when I read the obituary and discovered that yet another favorite patient had died.

[Baloney Amputation, BSN, LPN, RN]

I've never cried while working as a nurse. However, I have cried several times doing medical transcription. Unfortunately, there is absolutely nothing I can do but produce a document when doing MT. No hugging or comforting or anything.

[jjensen]

I tend to cry. I am very emotional. When I worked in hospice and got close to the client and families I would cry as the patient died. I don't see anything wrong with showing families and patients that we are human. I think that is what makes me a good nurse. I try to take my saddness home, but I do remember every patient who has ever died...

[shanyone]

I'm an ADN nursing student in my final semester. I think I failed my first exam on Monday. I had a little cry afterward when I got home. It's no big deal...helps to relieve the stress. Now I'll go get back on the horse and continue. It's all about how you look at things and I tend to try to look at things with a positive spin. It's been really hard to look at nursing school with that positive twist but I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'll make it through no matter how bad I did on that exam. You've just got to have faith and continue...crying or no crying :)

As far as crying over patient deaths, I have not felt that close to anyone yet. I have concern for them and the utmost compassion, but I tend to try to keep things business at work (clinical).

Shanyone

[kellykelly]

Everyone is different. I have never cried related to my job. I came close once, when a patient I had gotten close to just basically gave up and died; but I am pretty good at separating my emotions from the job and I pulled myself together in the hallway and realized he wanted it to be his time. I had just brought him a bag of books and word puzzles and things to help pass the time as all his family lived too far away to visit. He never looked at them.

His obituary is still hanging on my fridge, over a year later.

But generally I leave all that at work.

[RN1982]

I've cried twice. The first time was when I started my orientation at my first RN job. It was the first day and I was stressed out. The second time was when a family member screamed at me about his relative not being able to get a PICC line because the PICC team left at 5pm and they weren't told that so I had to start an I.V. on the patient. Anyhow, I went into the storage room and cried and then cried more after my manager called me on my phone and screamed at me also.

After that, I've found it pointless to cry. It's not worth the red-face and tears to cry over things that you cannot help. Things can get stressful. Why cry about it?

[anewday]

I'm a student and I was just thinking about this earlier this week...I havent cried yet...but I don't know...this second semester looks like it's going to be something else...

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

It's not worth the red-face and tears to cry over things that you cannot help. Things can get stressful. Why cry about it?

I also cringe when someone says, "The surgeon made me cry," or "The rude patient made me cry."

No one can make you cry. You simply chose an outwardly emotional response to someone's actions. In addition, it is pointless to cry when the people who "make us cry" aren't going to lose a minute of sleep over the tears you shed.

[whodunit]

Over the years, I've cried a lot; over babies being born to people who haven't got the sense or responsibility to even care for themselves, for old people dying in a nsg home whose family doesn't even want to come before they die, for the uselessness of deaths which could have easily been avoided{one family put antifreeze in a windex bottle to thaw their windshied; baby got it, drank it and they waited until it was too late to bring her in cause "we didn't know if she drank it or spilled it"I have cried for pts who have been so abused, they will never be the same and I have cried in frustration for the many ways upper mgmt messes with us:cry:.You might think I'm just a bleeding heart and maybe I am. Some days, I wonder why I do it; but mostly its because I love being a nurse. I have noticed here lately I tend to just go yell or just jump straight up and down in the bathrm when snotty nurses chew a new nurse out, or yet another stupid decision comes down from mgmt , who have long since forgot everything to do with nsg or any of the many other things that happen to nurses on a daily basis gets to be too much. Oh, by the way, I do stand up for new nurses, my co-workers and pts, but am getting tired of constantly having to fight to stay on my feet.So, I put it in God's hands, laugh some days, cry others, but keep on keeping on cause thats what nurses do.:redbeathe

[Bree124, BSN, RN]

No one can make you cry. You simply chose an outwardly emotional response to someone's actions.

Hmm... I guess I disagree with that statement. Many people don't choose to cry, and aren't doing it to get sympathy or have someone take notice. It's true that no one can forcefully pull tears from your lacrimal ducts, but a person can treat you so horribly that you can't control the tears. Not everyone has thick enough skin to let abuse or sad situations just roll off their backs 100% of the time.

I have never cried in nursing (still a student), but I did cry once at a previous job. It was either scream back at the customer (a completely irrational bride) and lose my job, or lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes and let it all out by. I wisely chose the latter option.